Monday, June 3, 2019

Good Morning, Action


Good morning. Yesterday after I shared my long overdue update, I got out and took one of the dogs for a walk. I spent the day drinking lots of water, eating more veggies and fruits, and trying to just avoid anything too carby. This morning I am down 2 pounds to 216... a drop in the bucket, but every bucket has to start with a drop, slow or fast.

This morning as I was lying in bed thinking about how to get back to a healthier weight, I thought about all the different things I have done over the past decade (plus) of blogging. I thought about the successes and the failures, the ups and downs, good times and bad, and I thought, you know... actually, this is pretty good. Think if I had never started blogging, taken steps to change my life, gotten on the path to better health. I was 278 pounds back then and was honestly on a trajectory to fly way, way over 300 pounds. I had no tools, no energy, and very little motivation. Anything I tried lasted a couple of days or maybe, if I was lucky and very excited about some plan, a few weeks. But something really *did* change back then. If I had not made changes, I would have spent the entire last 12 years... most of my 30's and all of my 40's... near 300 pounds or more. I might not even be here now.

Instead, because I tried, and never gave up, I was under 250 pounds for more than 90% of the past nearly 12 years. I was in the 220's or less for 57% of that time, and weighed under 200 pounds almost a quarter of that time. Maybe to some people that is not success, but when I look at what I *know* would have been the alternative, I am very thankful. A quarter of my LIFE since then was spent in a pretty normal, healthy range... in the 170's to 190's... instead of over 300. And most of the time I was a good 100 pounds less than I would have been had I not made the changes. We all know how quickly time passes, and it is not unrealistic to imagine that if I had lived this long I would have missed out on a lot of the things that have brought me joy over the years. When I imagine myself at 278 pounds in that white, food-stained tee shirt and black stretch pants, holding, not my infant daughter on my lap in this living room, but my baby granddaughter who is here now instead... how sad and dismal, in fact how terrifying that vision is to me. But instead, my reality is different, because I tried.

I will keep trying. For my kids, my grandchildren, for me.

I was so hungry lying there in bed early this morning, my stomach growling, and I was thinking about what I should eat for the day; I already had a dinner in mind with chicken breasts cooked with cauliflower. But the growling stomach tells me that my habit over the past month and a half of eating a heavy breakfast is going to be a tough one to break. We've been eating 3 meals per day and the breakfasts were pretty substantial, so my body has come to expect that. When I've been successful recently it's been through Intermittent Fasting with an 8 hour eating window (except for coffee). I know I need to make changes *right now,* so when I got out of bed, drank water, had coffee, walked the dog, and decided to start taking phentermine again to help with the hunger. The last time I took phentermine was for 2-3 weeks in January, and it felt like it had no effect. My doctor had prescribed it that month and told me I had to lose 10 pounds in 3 months or she would not prescribe it again. Well, that ship sure sailed, but I have a bottle still left and it would last a month if I take it twice a day. I may only take it in the mornings, we'll see, but I think I need the kick start it should give me to suppress my appetite, get some of these regained pounds off and get back on an Intermittent Fasting schedule.

My goal is to only have coffee until noonish, and stop eating by 8 pm. I am choosing healthy foods, smaller portions, lower carbs. If I feel like I *have* to eat something (until my body re-adjusts to not eating every couple of hours) I will have protein or produce. I'm walking daily and will start swimming and biking ASAP. Thank you for all the years of support!

10 comments:

Gloria said...

Welcome back! Doesn't it seem like this journey of trying to keep our weight in check is never ending? Ugh! I am also on the Intermittent Fasting bandwagon. All the best to you and your family.

Anonymous said...

Interesting to see you mention intermittent fasting. I've known about that for a long time but just never did a real "deep dive" into it until recently. Just read Jason Fung's book and have been watching some of his lectures on YouTube. My reaction to him was similar to my reaction to Gary Taubes when I read "Why we get Fat". It was like these two men turned a light on in my head ! Everything they both said made so much sense to me. I hated breakfast as a kid. It was a constant battle with my mom. Now I see I wasn't so wrong after all. Have been doing 16/8 or 20/4 intermittent fasting for 2 weeks now and I feel really good. Not even looking at the scale for now. Just going on how I feel. Wishing you luck !

Mrs Swan said...

OMAD or IF is what is working for me lately. I find I feel better the less amount of food I eat. When I let my eyes get the better of me portion wise I feel tired and sluggish.

MaryFran said...

Intermittent fasting seems to work for me also. I don’t starve myself though, if I am just plain hungry....real hunger. Then I pull out a handful of trail mix that I keep in my desk drawer at work. That does the trick! It’s nutritious and better than the crap I would grab in the cafeteria (muffins or tater tots) or vending machines!

You can do this!!!!

16 blessings'mom said...

Hi Lyn, and welcome back! I'm glad your daughter is okay. When we're out of our element and dealing with stress, the bad food choices are almost a comfort. But you're back on track, and that's so encouraging. I was just saying the other day that although I'm still way heavier than I want to be, what would life be like if I hadn't changed my ways 8 years ago? I lost 70 pounds, and have gained back over 20...but maintaining even the 45+pound loss is HARD. It seems so discouraging, but it's better than where I was, and I will not.give.up. It's not an option. There are bumps, there are binges, but I will not give up. And that's why I love your blog, you are so hard working and determined, and have so many friends out here rooting for you, and working with you. Thank you for blogging!!!!

Della

Anonymous said...

I Really liked the analysis of the % time you were here or there. It really shows a successful life!
Theresa

Melanie said...

Great post! Please don't take this the wrong way . . . I just finished watching "My 600 Pound Life". Heck yes, every thing you have done every day to stay in the 170's to 200's does matter. You are right that had you done nothing it can be way worse. I am glad you are back blogging and back on track.

Linda R said...

I really enjoy reading your blog as you inspire me. I am glad you are back...you can do this! You are right about the past and your analysis is spot on. You tried and you lost weight, to the benefit of your health. Thank you for sharing your experiences.

Xani said...

Great perspective Lynn! Many ups and downs over the years, but an almost unwavering dedication to improving your health and quality of life. Kudos to you. I am sure you will be back to a weight that makes you happier and more comfortable soon. Until then (AND when you get there), be kind to yourself <3

Anonymous said...

I never comment, but I thought I'd let you know I'm glad you are back. Weight is a lifelong "thing" with me - always a battle. But I have to keep fighting. I'm glad to know I'm not alone. Good luck resetting yourself.