Saturday, October 6, 2018

Not Weighing

Have you ever felt like your scale is controlling your life? Like the moment you step on it, instead of a number in pounds you get a voice that tells you exactly what kind of day you're going to have, and what kind of person you are? I used to get on my scale, see an unhappy (higher) number, and immediately my mood would drop. I'd feel suddenly sad, hopeless, and like a failure just because of a perceived increase in my fatness and corresponding decrease in my personal worth. Funny thing though... if you have that kind of experience and then your husband changes the old batteries in your scale, and you get back on and see that you are 6 pounds *lighter* than you thought, your mood suddenly lifts, you feel "skinnier" instead of like a big lazy lump, and your whole day seems more positive.

One of the big changes I made over the years is to weaken the power of the scale. Some people do that by not weighing, but I did it by weighing every day and plotting it on a graph for years. I got to see that a little bump up or drop down was normal, and would level out eventually if I was not going nutso on a binge fest. I've committed to the daily weigh-in and the weekly (usually Sunday) weight report. I also have my Weight By Month recorded for over 11 years. That keeps me aware of trends (which do matter) and how whatever I am doing is affecting my weight. But I think it's just as important, for me personally, to prioritize calmness and peace about the numbers, habits, and food... and that peace is even more important than the actual weighing itself.

I have been away from home all of this week and am not going to be back until next week. I am no where near my scale (literally thousands of miles away) and haven't weighed at all since Sunday. There won't be a Sunday weigh-in tomorrow. I know in the past, being away from the scale has triggered all kinds of weird emotions in me, usually to one extreme or the other. Either A) "omg I HAVE to weigh, I committed to weigh, if I don't weigh every day my world will collapse. Therefore I MUST find a scale, or buy a scale, to use while I am away." or B) "wheeeeee! No scale! I *can't* gain or lose weight!" (head in sand, eat like I have lost my mind, feign shock when I return home). Instead, I am fostering calmness and acceptance. It's okay that I am not able to weigh right now. I know I am able to remain on my lower carb plan *or* I am free to take some days of indulgence (but not bingeing) just like I have around Christmas or other holidays or occasions. I am taking a middle-road approach: making sure I get some veggies and fruits and protein every day, but also enjoying what is available and some tasty things I don't normally get to enjoy (mostly not pictured on my Instagram, because frankly I forget to snap a picture most of the time. I am kind of absorbed in my surroundings, the experiences, the people). I know I am eating more volume and more carbs than usual and I fully expect a bit of weight gain when I get home. I am *fine* with that. Travel/flying bloat, extra salt and carbs, and less exercise all combine and I am sure the scale will reflect that. And then the following week, it will reflect that I am back home and back to eating smaller portions, less frequently, and lower in carbs. I'm also expecting to ramp up my exercise when I get home (although I've been saying that for months, yet not making it a priority).

So no weigh in tomorrow, but I will weigh the morning after I arrive home and then post an official weigh in the following Sunday. See you then!


Anonymous said...

Good for you! You actually never have to weigh again as long as your clothes fit. That tells you everything you need to know.

MaryFran said...

I feel like this is a really good place for you to be in. The scales are NOT ruling you! Good job!

Anonymous said...

I want your peace. I need to go back through and re-read your blog and see if I can find clues to how you did this.

Amy said...

Have a great time away!