Wednesday, May 23, 2018

The Power of a Number

I've been doing some thinking about *why* I am more comfortable in this range between 188 and 192 lately, aside from the already-explored reasons of stabilization, loose skin worsening at lower weights, and the comfort of staying within the same clothing size (and not having to "give up" clothes quickly after fitting into them). Learning to maintain with small fluctuations could be done at any weight. So why this range? Partly because I've learned from the past that this is a critical point in my weight loss, but there's something else.

At 185 pounds, my BMI drops under 30 and I am no longer obese. At 185 pounds, I have "escaped from obesity." But if my goal is not a straight trajectory down... losing consistently from here on out... then my weight will keep on fluctuating up and down a few pounds. Up and down, 185 to 188 and back again, in and out of obesity. It's mentally tricky to reach this huge goal of escaping obesity by hitting *that weight* but then gaining a pound or two and suddenly being obese again. I don't want to feel that way, like "success! failure! success! failure!" every time the scale fluctuates a couple of pounds. My goal is to maintain within a narrow range of pounds, so doing that 185/188/185 thing would be fine if it were not for the mental game of going back and forth between being obese or not. I'm fine doing the same thing if the pounds are 188/191 because there are no emotional strings attached to those numbers. So I am being pretty chill about maintaining slightly above that number, even if it means I stay obese for just a little while longer :)

By the way, I weigh 190 as of today and am very happy with that. I think my mind and body will know when it's time to drop another chunk of weight, but until then, I'm not trying to do that. I am being happy living in my current skin and enjoying life at this much healthier and more active weight!


MaryFran said...

It sounds like you are in a really good place with where you are and what you are doing!!!! Yay!!!!

Anonymous said...

Do you seriously like weighing that much? Are you honestly okay with staying 190 pounds? You don't want to lose enough weight to be thin? Just asking, not criticizing.

Lyn said...


yes, I am! Thank you!


Actually, yes, I am happy. I feel good, and calm. Eventually I do plan to lose some more, but right now I am working on maintaining.