Thursday, May 10, 2018

In The Calm Place

I am so happy. I really love everything about this journey and working to maintain. The way I am eating feels so calm and natural. This is the first time I can remember having no angst about food: no stress about what to eat or not eat, no cravings for foods that I "can't" have, no strict rules, no worries about restaurants or social meal occasions. Earlier this week, I was invited to a lunch event with a speaker. I agreed, but had no idea what they'd be serving. I figured I could manage it. When we arrived, we were seated at tables already set with plated food. Everyone had the same thing: chicken salad with fruit and nuts mixed in, lettuce leaves, sliced fruit, and a big fluffy croissant. Most people put their chicken salad and lettuce on the croissant and ate it as a sandwich. I tore the croissant bottom into fourths and buttered one piece to enjoy, and ate it with the chicken salad and fruit. It was delicious! There was water and coffee to drink (I had one cup black and one cup with cream) and then they brought out dessert: pound cake with fresh berries and whipped cream. I enjoyed all of the berries and cream plus two small bites of the cake. It was easy to navigate that meal and I enjoyed every bite!

Next week I am going to a barbecue with a couple of other families. I already know I will have a cheeseburger with all the fixings but no bun. There will be sides and salads that I'll enjoy, too, and I think I'll bring a fruit salad so I have a little something sweet while others enjoy a sugary dessert. Sugar tends to cause my joints to ache, so I like to avoid it. I can eat, say, a couple bites of cake or one cookie without pain, but beyond that and I am hurting. So sugary sweets rarely hold appeal for me. I might make a rare exception in the case of homemade ice cream or cheesecake, though (in small amounts!)

That's about all I wanted to share for now. I just feel good and am content and happy, and so glad to be in this place.


Diana said...

I love this post! Your best post ever!

Anonymous said...

Never heard of anyone buttering a croissant! They are saturated in butter already...
I am not criticizing your meal but sometimes if food isn't palatable without adding butter, ranch, mayo etc. might be better just to skip it.

Joy said...

You've worked so hard for this and deserve every minute of it. xxx

Lyn said...

Thanks Diana! I feel amazing.


Huh, that's odd. I guess if it was that unusual, we wouldn't have had dishes of butter on our tables. There wasn't anything else to put it on!


Thank you! I am really enjoying it.

Anonymous said...

Of course we butter croissants! At least we do in North America.

Butter on any bread product is purely delightful.

Anonymous said...

I like to call this type of thing "antifragile eating," when you can be in a variety of situations and eat in a way that works on your plan. I'm finally at a place where I can do that now myself, largely because I'm no longer starving myself so I trust my appetite, but also because I'm more relaxed and have worked hard on my OCD [not figurative, real OCD] about measuring my food. In the past I could never let myself eat out. I had to weigh absolutely all of my food on a scale or I couldn't eat it. The irony was I still was eating decent calories sometimes, just in this micromanaged, miserable way. Or, alternatively, if I did let myself eat food at a social event I would way overdo it because I never got to do that! Not even because the food was so good! I also kind of "forgot" how to eat normal-people food and not my safe foods, so I had no idea what quantities were appropriate (I'd always eat only plain vegetables and proteins at home so when it came to stuff with sauces added, I'd eat too much volume for the calorie density and get a stomachache).

I have a theory about the butter thing. Tell me if I'm right. Sometimes if I eat something very sugary or made with white flour I get a blood sugar high and then crash, but adding fat to it mitigates that effect (like... I feel better with less rebound hunger eating dark chocolate than fat free frozen yogurt or something). It would seem to me that since you're trying to stay low carb that you add butter to basically slow the absorption of carbs? I think some lowcarb people talk about this. I don't eat low carb but have read up on it.


Lyn said...

butter Anon~

Yes! That's how I feel. Thanks for the reassurance :)

cron anon~

I have read the same thing somewhere, in the past... that adding fat slows the carb absorption and helps mitigate blood sugar spikes. I remember reading that if you're eating a baked potato it is better to put some fat on it (butter, sour cream) for that reason, and also to eat the skin for the vitamins and the fiber to help lower the glycemic index. So I do think you're right about that.

Love the term "antifragile eating." This is so much calmer and easier than, say, AIP or Medifast where OMG I cannot eat that, what am I going to do??? It gets a bit stressful to worry about food that much.

Kendra said...

What a great post! I am happy you are feeling so peaceful. When I first found your blog I was looking for Medifast success stories and Google brought up some of your old posts. I started reading at the beginning and am finally catching up to the recent years ... so much of your journey sounds like I could have written the words myself!

I agree with the poster above who called this antifragile eating. It's so true. I recently transitioned off of Medifast and I was so afraid that the weight would start coming back, but I too have been practicing "antifragile eating" and decided that no food is going to be truly off limits. So far it's working, one thing I craved so much while on Medifast was Blue Moon beer ... I bought a six pack two weeks ago telling myself I could have one whenever I wanted ... there are still six beers sitting in my fridge.

Amazing how much calmer things feel when you switch that restriction mindset off. Restriction works for me in the short term (getting the weight off) but I knew I had to come up with a better plan for maintenance.

Glad to see you are in such a good place right now!

PamL said...

That's awesome, Lyn! What a great place to be in!

Taryl said...

Lyn, this makes me so darn happy for you. I know you’ve struggled for years to find a spot you can live with on eating that doesn’t make your weight creep up or introduce in anxiety. Remember this feeling!

After massive health problems with my last baby and regaining a ton of my own weight, I finally had a turning point as well. And the right fit on food and life really looks different for every dieter, depending on their specific strengths and weaknesses.

Anonymous said...

You cannot lose weight eating croissants and butter, fruit, and cake. You have to choose a lane: low carb (in which case you avoid CARBS = no bread, fruits, sugar but you can eat fat and protein) OR low fat (avoid the BUTTER, whipped cream, mayo, cheese). It is impossible to eat everything, all the time, and lose weight.

Anonymous said...

Is the person saying you can't eat croissants, fruit, and cake and still lose weight a troll? I'm voting yes. You're doing amazing and it's so awesome to see you losing weight, but more importantly finding peace with food. I hope to be there someday.

Lyn said...


Thank you! sometimes knowing there is an abundance is all you need to feel the sense of restriction lifting.


Thanks, it really does feel wonderful :)


So good to hear from you! It sure has taken a long time to get here. I'm sorry for your struggle but hope the baby is well and glad you have turned things around!

pick-a-lane anon~

Well, I disagree, but that's okay. I've done the restriction thing already and was never successful nor happy with it. But the best part is that even if you're right, I'm okay with it, because I'm not trying to lose weight!

Lyn said...

last anon~

Sorry I missed you! Thank you for the support. And you're SO right... peace with food is THE most important thing. And at this point, weight loss is not on my mind; maintaining under 195 forever is!

Anonymous said...

That’s not true at all. Plenty of people lose weight but reducing calories (which is what Lyn has done via phentermine) is it better health wise to get most your calories from plants? Probably. But it’s far more unhealthy to yo yo diet so this seems like a good solution for her. If it’s not for you, don’t do it!

Lyn said...

last anon~

agree I was eating way less calories on phentermine. I am not taking it anymore but I think it helped me by getting that weight off so I feel better, got motivated, and got used to smaller potions. It really is super unhealthy to lose and gain repeatedly so I think I am way better off than I would be otherwise (and compared to what I used to eat, this is much, much healthier!)

MaryFran said...

Oh my word! I’m so happy to read this post and to see that you w found that sweet spot where you are perfectly fine with what you are doing and absolutely peaceful with the journey!!!!