Sunday, April 29, 2018

Off Phentermine and an Interesting Weigh In


Well THAT was an interesting weigh in... series of weigh-ins, actually. I've spent this week feeling super happy about where I am mentally and emotionally with my weight loss journey. I wrote about getting rid of all the clothing that is too big on me at 195 pounds, the goal being to never weigh more than that again. I've felt empowered by honoring my feelings about body changes, and ever since I hit 199 pounds one month ago, I've focused on solidifying my maintenance plan. I had already started weaning off phentermine, going from 1/2 tablet twice a day to 1/2 tablet once a day, then last week skipping a few days, and now am not taking it at all. I do still have a few tablets left plus an unfilled prescription, so I can follow my doctor's advice and take it to get my weight back down if I start to struggle and gain.

So if you follow my Instagram account (lynescapes) you can see I eat a lot of stuff that people don't usually associate with diets or even low carb. That's intentional! It gives me peace with food to eat anything I want to, but keep the quantities small and the overall carbs in a day lower. I'll write about that another time. Right now I just want to say, I had a weird scale moment a couple days ago as the scale had gone down from 195 last Sunday to 194, then 193, then yesterday 192 pounds. I felt puzzled; I am trying to maintain... not trying to lose right now (in honor of my feelings)... but the scale went down anyway. I stopped phentermine, ate more often, no restrictions whatsoever. My exercise has been slightly more, but not that much change yet: I walked the dogs most days about a mile (which I was already doing), got on my exercise bike for 10 minutes one day and 12 minutes another day, and did my 15 minute arm weights routine twice this week (the goal being to exercise enough to tone up, but not burn a lot of calories). And yet there it was this morning again: 192 pounds. That's 3 pounds gone this week.

I think it's kind of funny. Last month I was *trying* to lose, eating less, and taking phentermine yet only lost 3 pounds in the month of March. April, I decide to maintain, eat more, quit phentermine, and I have dropped 7 pounds! A couple days ago I had a little talk with myself. When I saw 193, then 192, I got a little nervous. I thought, what if I keep losing too quickly and my clothes get too loose again and my skin starts hanging?? Yet, if I *really* want to honor my feelings, I need to do that by honoring my body, what it is telling me, what it is comfortable doing, and not start getting all obsessive and stressed about the number on the scale again. This whole re-losing thing has, for me, been about being calm. Reducing anxiety. And I *have* done that. I am feeding my body well, I feel great, I am happy. If my body wants to settle at 192, or 195, or 188 for awhile, so be it! By *not* forcing myself to lose or gain, I am allowing my body to be. *That* is honoring my feelings. And it feels so amazingly free!

5 comments:

Xani said...

Happy for you! I always wonder if the extra stress we put on ourselves to lose, lose, lose causes our bodies to produce certain hormones, etc that actually cause us to hold onto/gain weight! Perhaps in reducing your stress over the weight loss issue you have changed your body's chemistry such that you are losing even though your food/exercise habits haven't changed. Amazing!

Lyn said...

Xani~

I think you must be right! I definitely feel more calm about the whole thing and that has to be good for my body. It had to be real though... I have to truly accept my weight right now as okay and not be itching to get lower. I would be fine with staying 192 for weeks. I was thinking about it and if I weigh 185-188 by the end of summer, I'd be very pleased. Nice and slow, just toning up and dropping 4 or 5 pounds over the next 4 months would make me happy :)

Amy said...

I have read that when you listen to your body and satisfy it without going crazy with junk, your body will go toward it's natural set point, or your natural intended weight. What a wonderful feeling to be able to give up the stress and torture and let nature do it's thing! Very exciting!

Anonymous said...

cron anon here :)
Congrats on your weight loss. In a few weeks you'll be able to see if it's a downward trend or just the fluctuations of maintenance. It could be your small amounts of eating have stuck and that's why you're still losing.
You might want to track calories for a week or so at some point to figure out where you are while you're in this comfortable, slow weight loss zone. I always find myself intrigued by data. I don't try to aim for a certain calorie number because it's triggering but I did backwards-track from when I maintained and found out the number I got was a bunch higher than I thought it would be, which was cool.
How is the counseling going? I would love to hear more about it. I did traditional ED counseling at an outpatient center but I also did DBT, which I found interesting as well.

Lyn said...

hi Amy~

I have read that too. I think I first read it in Geneen Roth's books. I remember reading about her letting go of dieting and eating whatever she wanted and she ate balls of cookie dough on a plate for weeks. And after an initial gain, she lost weight without stress. I tried that years ago but it had different results for me (not good!) I think I needed more structure and a lot more time to work into relaxing about food, but I am there now. Heck, I had a mug of soup, a bowl of potato chips and dip, and a block of sugar free chocolate for dinner last night because that's what I wanted. And it didn't trigger anything or make me feel bad, and didn't make me gain overnight, either. It's a great feeling (and I know some folks think that's not a healthy meal, but I am going for the overall balance. So a weird meal like that works for me on occasion!)

hi cron anon :)

I think I will throw my meals into MFP here and there on days when it would be easy to do without a lot of measuring. Like, it's pretty easy to enter a few eggs, bacon, and a piece of fruit but a casserole has a lot more margin for error. Re: it being loss or flux, I am good with either. I would be fine staying this weight or within a couple pounds either direction for the summer! I kind of like how my body feels (at least in most ways) at this weight and it's comfortable for me. The counseling is going well so far, but he was on vacation last week. Will see him this week. He's not an ED specialist, but he seems pretty perceptive and has been counseling for many years. I think it's a good fit!