Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Won't Give Up

I am really proud of myself for never giving up. Even before I started blogging I was trying to lose weight. I'd get off 30 or 35 pounds and then gain it back PLUS some. And then when I started this blog, at 278 pounds, I thought that would be the final time I'd ever have to lose weight. When I got down to 214 pounds that first year, I was SURE I would never regain any of that weight and would keep working hard and keep losing. Imagine how shocked I was to be back up to 245 pounds only a little over a year later.

But still, I did not regain it all. For the first time in my life, I didn't gain it all back and then add more pounds. And that's because I didn't give up. I got back down to 234 pounds before I started Medifast two and a half years after I started this blog. And I stuck with that and lost almost 60 pounds in 8 months. And I *knew* I was never going back. I would never regain any of those hard lost pounds.

Except I did. I worked hard to stay in the 170's and 180's for 8 months, but losing more eluded me. I even got into the 190's for 2 months before getting back down to 184. But by the end of 2011, I was back over 200 pounds, and let me tell you, that sucked. It sucked that I worked so hard to lose in the first place, and it sucked that I felt powerless to keep on losing weight or even to keep off what I had lost.

Bur I never gave up. For all of 2012 and 2013 I worked to stay under 220, and succeeded in only hitting a high of 221 once. Yet at the very end of 2013, I broke into the 220's, hit 226... and never got below that again... until this month, when I got to 225. Almost four years at 226+... up to and including 260 pounds. And yet, even at 260, I did not give up. I kept fighting. And I am still fighting, and I will never give up.

Some may see this as a story of failure, an exercise in futility, an obese woman spending over a decade trying to lose the weight but never getting there. Still fat, still on a diet. But some will see the story of success. The determination to reach that goal even if it takes a decade, trying different things, working not to regain it all... and *succeeding* at that. That's how I see it. Success.

I won't ever give up or stop trying. Never.


Joy said...

Good for you!
J x

Margaret Wolfinbarger said...

That's right, my friend. That is our journey. Never by give up! Never surrender! It's a discipline. To give up is to die and it is not futile. You are brave and beautiful. Besides, it's not what we look like on the exterior that matters. True and lasting rewards are a steadfast spirit and peace that comes from knowing we tried our best. Our culture doesn't like to grant us this. But they are always trying to sell us something. Don't buy it. Don't even think about buying it! Be true to yourself. I'm 7.5 years into my journey and I've gone up and down a few times, but I refuse to go back to who I was before. God gives me more grave to persevere. I pray He will do the same for you.

Anonymous said...

You are an amazing success story. Thank you for continuing to share throughout all of this, to inspire us and show us it can be done.

Natalie said...

And don't forget we don't need to be defined by our ability to lose weight and keep it off. We are not the sum of our fat cells. We have lives outside our weight loss attempts - though sometimes it doesn't seem like it!

Don't know about you, but as well as struggling with my weight in the past ten years I have also: raised two wonderful children, gained a Grad Cert at University and am partway through a Diploma at TAFE, wrote a book (no one wants to publish it - but I wrote a whole book!), hosted joyous Christmas lunches and other family events, survived moving house several times and project managed the installation of a swimming pool... and lots of other things. My weight is only a small part of the whole me.

Lyn said...

Thanks guys! I appreciate the support!


I totally agree. The weight is just an undercurrent of what we are doing with our lives. The big picture is about home, family, and for me, God. We have both accomplished much and can be proud of those things no matter what is going on with our weight :)

Anonymous said...

Sometimes I think about my own struggles, and how great it would be to just reach success and be done. It would be great. That's not my story though.

My story is fighting every day, and struggling, and sometimes achieving and sometimes not. Facing success and failure.

Great or not, this is my story. An everyday struggle. I call it a win, because at least I continue. - Bobboccio

LHA said...

You really hit the nail on the head. In order to be successful in changing my eating I had to accept that there will be many bumps in the road. It is the not-giving-up part that makes or breaks my efforts. I appreciate your blog so much. This kind of encouragement from your words and those of the other commenters really gives so many people a lift. I also appreciate what Natalie said. Our lives have worth beyond our weight, and heavy or thin we are still worthwhile people. Thanks to everyone for all the wisdom and helpful thoughts!