Friday, October 20, 2017

Weight in my Head

Lately I've been thinking about how the numbers on the scale mess with my head a lot. I've been thinking about that because every day, I get on the scale with no idea what to expect. This phentermine experience is different from anything I have ever tried. And the weight loss numbers are really different, too. Check this out:

weight loss with phentermine adipex

This is my weight on phentermine, starting on August 26. There is a pretty obvious pattern of lose, plateau, lose, plateau (and I know an actual plateau is more than a week long, but bear with me here!) What I actually experienced was a little confusing to me.

7 days at 249
7 days at 245
11 days at 240
6 days at 236, so far, as of today.

So it looks like after that initial big drop from water and bloat, my body likes to drop 4 or 5 pounds at a time and then stabilize at that new, lower weight for a week or so. That's actually not a bad thing, right? And it takes away the emotion that wells up after getting on the scale all week and seeing NO change even though you think you're doing everything right.

Not so confusing when I put it in writing! This is why I like blogging. I can think out loud, put it down, share, get feedback and clarify my thoughts and emotions. I can see and accept the pattern and know what to expect. A week of not losing doesn't mean anything is wrong. It means my body is getting better at staying the same, lower weight. That's what I want, especially when I get off phentermine and do NOT want to regain.

I feel really great. Normal. I'd say... not high energy, but pretty happy and calm and much better than I did 22 pounds heavier. It is kind of weird going back down the scale and having to dig into the smaller clothing drawers to find things that fit better. Like before, I am actually throwing away/giving away the "fat clothes" as I lose weight. I honestly regretted doing that before, because when I regained, I kept having to buy stuff that fit (cheap stuff, since I just KNEW I would not stay that fat forever) and I kept thinking of all the nicer quality, comfortable clothing I got rid of. I thought... boy, was I cocky to give away those clothes! I wish I had them now! But once again I am getting rid of the clothes because I am SURE I will never need those sizes again. Hopefully, this time I am right.

Basically it is getting colder and I only have one pair of long jeans that fit right now. I have a few pairs of capri length pants that I dug out of the smaller clothing pile and those fit, and I have some jeans that will fit in probably 10 or 15 pounds. I hope I can get enough weight off for them to fit before winter because I am NOT NOT NOT going to go buy another pair of fat jeans. I am SO DONE being this size, really done with it. I look in the mirror and I do see improvement, but man, I am still seeing morbidly obese. It's like when I got back over 250, my vision switched back to what it was when I weighed almost 280 pounds and the image of myself in my head is of morbid obesity. Funny since when I regained at first, I still thought of myself as thinner and just "a bit fat" and was always shocked to look in the mirror and see this really big person. It takes time for my brain to adjust, I guess. It'll be nice when I can think of myself in a thinner way again. It'll probably be awhile til that happens, though.

One of my exercise goals has been to walk my dogs every day (a mile each, separately, because one likes to chase squirrels and cats and the other gets annoyed and they tangle their leashes and it's a supreme headache. One dog at a time is much nicer!) I also am getting back to biking, following along with Eric Hites/Fat Guy Across America again. I'll post more about that later.

That's all for today! I am coming up on two months of phentermine and am excited to see where month 3 takes me. (I can hardly wait to hit the 220's again! So exciting!) Hope you have a wonderful, blessed weekend!


Anonymous said...

I love that you are back. You sound like your old self again! Thank you for always sharing your journey with us. You are inspiring, even if you feel like you struggle. We all struggle and that is why we need someone real like you to relate to.


murgatroidgerow said...

Hi Lynn,
I'm so glad the Phentermine is working well for you! Something I've noticed from reading your blog for years is your relationship with clothes. I recall you mentioning that at times in your life you've worn clothes until they were literally threadbare because you were at a higher weight than you wanted. Sure, it's aggravating to change sizes often, but you deserve nice clothes at any weight. Quality clothes are a self-esteem boost and doing without seems almost like punishment. Maybe don't go overboard, but some great Fall pieces might be in order, even if you do only wear them briefly?

Anonymous said...

When you factor in those plateaus, you are losing weight at a healthy, moderate rate. Just imagine that without the plateaus you had kept losing the whole time; you would be down 40+ pounds in two months which would be seriously unhealthy. Your body knows what it's doing.

16 blessings'mom said...

I love that you're back!!!! Thank you for sharing, and I'm glad things are going well.


Lyn said...

Thanks all! Yes, I do feel like my old self (the one who was losing weight successfully!) I do think the rate of loss is just about perfect. Fast enough to see a difference quickly but not so fast that my body feels shocked by the rapid change. As far as clothes go, murgetroudgerow, I agree I have often connected my weight to my clothes and have been really resistant to buy bigger sizes. I guess if these jeans go threadbare I would buy ONE more pair so I can dress decently. Right now they are getting washed a LOT since I wear them most days. When it is not too chilly or I am staying home most of the day, I wear the capris. I won't wear pants with holes in the thighs or stains on the shirts anymore :)

Anonymous said...

I am sure you know this but 236 is a great place to be stuck when you've been 260 pounds. I hope to follow your example. And, I can't wait to see you and Eric complete your bike tours.

Diana said...

Thank God you're back!!! I'm so happy for you Lyn. It sounds like you're finding your way. Congrats on the weight loss. That's awesome.

I was a Fen-phen combo experiment back in 1996. When I went from 240 to 122. That's when friends were worried about me because I looked like a scarecrow. People thought I was anorexic. Then good doctors figured out this was a very bad combination and the FDA banned it. After many people were found to have heart/lung damage and needed a combo heart/lung transplant. Luckily I escaped any physical damage from it. But when I stopped taking it, I went crazy with hunger and of course gained it ALL back.

But I've read that just the Phentermine is fine on it's own. I've thought about trying it, but seem to have found my groove with weight loss. Down to 163, my lowest since our last big go around with weight loss in about 2009 I think.

The big thing I've learned this time is don't do anything you can't do for the rest of your life. That means eat the foods you love, don't restrict to the point of starvation (like that 1400 calorie diet I started with this time in January 2017--that was stupid!. Now I'm eating 1800 to 2000 average and still losing. Sometimes only 1/2 pound a week, but totally okay if things slow down. At least I get to eat real food.

I can't wait to see your progress. You'll be back at a healthy weight before you know it, and this time will be your LAST time. :) You've got this Lyn!

Anonymous said...

Prior phentermine user here. It works. But then it quits working. So this is my $0.02: Remember when you were on Medifast and because of the macro-nutrient combination/timing you were on, you almost lost your appetite? You want to edge your nutrition in that direction, so that as the phentermine quits working, you will already have the appetite suppression effects of the psuedo-Medifast in place to take it's place. The phentermine WILL quit working, but it is a powerful drug to get you started on the path and hopefully get your carb cravings under control in the mean time. I wish doctors would tell you this up front, because you only have a limited amount of time the phentermine is effective, and it would be nice to only use it when you are feeling particularly weak, or when you need the dieting jump-start. You will gain it back and fast if you revert to giving yourself treats because the carb cravings come back STRONG and almost lead to a carb binging behavior. Be ready for these temptations and have a plan in place for how you will combat the loss of the effectiveness of the phentermine. (After losing 20-40 pounds I often will feel like I "deserve" carb treats, because of how good I have been doing and it always leads to out of control carb binges). Good luck! (P.S. - I tried phentermine a 2nd time about 5 years after the 1st time I used it and didn't find it near as effective. Your body definitely develops a tolerance to it and it doesn't seem to reset very easily).

Lyn said...

Diana! So glad to hear you're doing well. I always love getting an update from you. I am headed in your direction weight wise so just stay right there and wait for me :)

last Anon~

Thank you for sharing your experience. That's good advice and I will use it. The carb level has got to stay low (Medifast-type low) in order for the cravings to stay gone when I am off the phentermine. Trying to get everything in place so that I am not lost without it!

Diana said...

Lyn, I have an idea for you. I've been following a few weight loss video bloggers on youtube (I guess the term is vloggers). Anyway, it appears they make a decent amount of money doing it. I also follow a few frugal living/budget vloggers as well. I was surprised how well people do making youtube videos.

I was thinking, you've always had a great following on your blog. What if you branch out and start doing vlogging, and make some extra money doing it? I think you'd find it super fun, and I know your fans would totally love it. I know I sure would.

One vlogger I follow is Gracies Journey. She's just a young woman that went from 240 to 135 pounds. She's very fun to watch. I started with her first video from 2014 and she's still doing it. She has a 103,000 subscribers.

I could totally see you doing this. I'm not sure how all these people are making money doing this. There are a few products they push, but not many. Often, they don't even mention a product. I know the frugal living vloggers make a ton because they show it in their budgets. Beauty vloggers make a ton of money too. Many have quit their regular jobs and just do videos. You could probably google this and find out how they make so much money. I'm not interested in it for myself, but I know you'd be fantastic at it. :)

You don't have to post this. I just wanted to suggest it to you. Just an idea.

Lyn said...


oh, lol, I didn't see the end of your comment until I posted it! But it is good info and a cool suggestions so I will leave it up. I actually did think about doing videos back when that became a "thing." I dunno, could be fun! Will think about it in the future.

Alison said...

vlogging is a great idea! great job, Lyn, you are an amazing person and have amazing insights and I love reading all your posts.