Since I hit my recent regain high of 260 pounds at the start of the month, I knew it was time to reverse the physical "damage" that the emotional eating recovery has cost me. It was worth the price of a gain to get to where I finally am emotionally, but that doesn't mean I want to stay fat forever! Plus, my blood pressure has been slowly creeping back up. There are still health concerns that have much to do with my size, what I eat, and my activity level: the blood pressure, the sort of high blood sugar (not to the pre-diabetes level yet, but I don't want to get there either), the autoimmune thyroid disease, and the arthritis. All of those things will benefit from me losing weight, so that's what I am aiming for. I am not so concerned about getting triggered by dieting anymore; I think that healing process is done now. Food has become normal and I am able to look at any food objectively. That is a pretty cool thing. I can see a cake and really FEEL like I don't want to eat that because it isn't good for me. The taste and emotion of a cake is not the primary driver anymore. I guess if you've ever had that kind of emotional, obsessive relationship with food, you'll understand. It helps that eating healthy foods makes the junk less appealing, too.
I'm not weighing in right now because I am focused on adapting my eating to a lower carb framework; that won't change no matter what the scale says. That's another thing that's different: my eating is not going to be scale-driven anymore. The scale, however, will be eating-driven. So I will check in with it around the first of the month.
Dinner tonight is in the crock pot already: chicken thighs (yes organic, free range!) with onions, fresh pumpkin, garlic, curry powder, salt and pepper, chicken broth, and coconut milk. I'll add fresh broccoli and mushrooms an hour or so before it's ready to serve. The family will get rice, but I don't need any! I love curries and will be enjoying my delicious meal without adding any extra carbs.
I am 38 years old, female, a degree-holding stay-at-home-mom, and I weigh 278 pounds. I have been obese for ten years now. Time to get out of this fat prison I have made for myself.
--This is the original introduction I wrote when I first started this blog in 2007. I leave it as a reminder to myself of where I came from. Currently, I am 46 years old and weigh significantly less...see the blog for details. I lost 103 pounds, then had a partial regain, and am once again working at weight loss and better health.
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