Friday, November 11, 2016

Sick Update


We have turned into a sick house here this week. My daughter came down with something first... fever, vomiting, all that kind of thing... and then it spiraled into everyone having a bad cold, and then one of my sons who already had the bad cold also started with the fever and vomiting. I have, so far, been spared the stomach issues but what I do have feels a lot like the bronchitis that turned into pneumonia that I had in the past. That was misery, so I am taking extra care of myself right now so that whatever this is does not get worse.

What does this mean for my eating, though? If you've read my blog for long you know that when I am sick and miserable, I don't lose my appetite. I eat for comfort. I eat a lot of carbs. I often just give in to whatever sounds comforting. This time, those usual comforting foods somehow do not look as comforting to me. Without the disordered food thoughts, cravings, and desire to have the pleasure of sugar comfort me, I am able to decide to eat things that will make me REALLY feel better... not just while I am eating them, but afterwords. The sweets I used to want when sick (banana bread, chocolate pudding, ice cream) do not appeal to me *at all* this time around. I shared earlier how my desires are evolving and sugar somehow tastes like pain to me (instead of seeing it as yummy, I have a negative feeling about it because of the physical joint pain it causes me). The only way I have been able to "hear" what my body really wants and needs is by the cessation of the cravings... which only came about by allowing myself to eat without restriction. Kind of an interesting cycle...

Anyway, the foods I am craving while I am sick have really changed. I crave soup. Lots of soup of all kinds. I have had beef vegetable soup, tomato soup, and chicken vegetable soup (with noodles). I have had oranges, apples, eggs, and buttered toast. Lots of water and tea of all kinds (unsweetened) and hot tea with fresh lemon slices and Manuka honey. I have some bone-in chicken thighs roasting in the oven right now and I'm going to make some chicken soup with it (plus carrots, onion, celery, garlic, and herbs). I crave acorn squash so I will bake some later. Tomorrow I will roast some Delicata squash. I may even make up a salad... something I *never* in my life have craved or even wanted to eat when I was sick. Salads were never a "sick" food for me... but now, without the food obsessions yelling in my ears, I an free to hear what my sick body is truly asking for (even salad!). Now that I no longer have to feed the *disorder,* I am free to feed *myself.*

It's also asking for rest, so I cancelled my therapy dog visit for the morning and cancelled a service project I was planning to help with tomorrow and instead I am spending both days at home, resting, reading, sleeping, and taking very good care of myself. I deserve that. Funny thing, I can even "hear" my body asking to go for a walk outside in the fresh air! If I had been on an enforced workout schedule or counting steps or making myself bike or walk X miles a day, I would not have heard this request from my body. So I will get out and take a gentle, short walk today as well. Funny how when you stop trying to force yourself into doing things to lose weight, the freedom from any negative emotions about dieting, weight, and exercise dissipate and you are left with your true self, telling you quietly what you really need.

I hope you are well. Thank a Veteran today!

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

I get what you are saying, but isn't this still restriction? I mean if you wanted cake you wouldn't run to the store and get it, would you? Cake is basically off your list, right?

Lyn said...

Anon~

If I wanted cake, I'd probably bake one myself and have some of that. Cake's not off the table. The reason this has "worked" for me is literally because if I want candy I can go to the store and get a bag of M&M's and eat them. No guilt, no restriction. I would totally do that if I really wanted it. But my tastes, cravings, and mental desires have changed so I don't want that kind of thing nearly as often anymore.

Anonymous said...

Sugar does the same to me...joint pain so it makes me feel worse and makes me want to stay away from these foods. I feel when you are eating less sugar in your lifestyle, you don't crave it either. Sounds like this is what you are experiencing. Feel better soon, lots of sickness going around this time of year.

Cyndi and Stumpy said...

Coming to these realizations would make me feel better, already!

Hope the sickies pass quickly, for all of you!!!

Anonymous said...

Sorry you are sick. I would love your recipe for chicken soup. Do you always add noodles or would it be good without them?

Lyn said...

thanks Cyndi!

Anon~

basic recipe here (Magic Chicken Soup): http://www.escapefromobesity.net/2007/12/chicken-soup-recipe-and-update-241.html

I do add a couple of chopped carrots, celery, and onion to the broth when I add the chicken pieces and simmer until they are done.

Verena Schwald said...

But Lyn....aren't you still focusing an awfully lot on food. On what you aren't eating. And on what you are eating? Eating disorders don't just go away because you decide to make peace with them.

I just worry.....



Lyn said...

Verena~

noticing and obsessing are two different things. When I was "dieting" I was thinking about food, weight, calories, etc basically every waking hour. I had to, to weigh, measure, track, worry and as you say "focus" on what I was eating. That is disordered, and very different from what every normal-eating person does, which is think about what they are eating while they prepare and eat it. I do share on the blog a couple times a week, but trust me, 15 minutes of a general explanation of my week is nothing like the disordered, constant obsession over food. Now, there is peace. (And you're right, EDs do not disappear because someone just says "oh nevermind, I have peace with this." It takes a lot of effort and true change in the way one eats and thinks to overcome any ED... whether that work is done inpatient, with counselors, or in my case, on my own).

Anonymous said...

What no weigh in?

Re: not thinking of food too much, the best cure for that is a diet plan with prepared meals (Jenny Craig, Nutra-System, Medi-Fast which you already know). With those you have to think about food exactly 0 times. Just set a timer and eat it on a schedule and move on.

Lyn said...

Anon~

Been sick, didn't think about a weigh in.

You're right, I tried Medifast and it does take some of the focus off of food planning, but it is also very restrictive: no grains, no sweets, no fruit, no potatoes, etc. Over time the restriction did feed my disordered eating. It also only worked as long as I stayed very restrictive and on plan 100%. I started to regain when I went back to regular food. What I am doing now is for the long term... for recovery.

Anonymous said...

The best "cure" for not thinking of food too much is being energy-balanced. That means not dieting, basically.

Non-disordered folk certainly think of food, but mostly when they're hungry. Trying to take the times you think of food to 0 is as disordered as thinking about it all the time.

Most of the skinny people I know (myself included) get tunnel vision when we're hungry where our number one priority is getting food. After we eat, food is the furthest thing from our minds. I feel like that's pretty normal.

MaryFran said...

Good job on taking care of yourself!!!! I hope you are feeling better soon (if not already!!)

I love how we really can hear our bodies asking for healthy lifestyle things when we really listen!!!

Rachel Smith said...

Hope you're feeling better today.