It's been 3 days since I got the sutures in my leg. It still hurts, but the pain is down about 75% and I can walk and take the stairs without too much discomfort. The bleeding has slowed down to just a few drops on each bandage change and it's looking pretty good. I was hoping to bike just a little, gently today, but after taking a look at it I am going to wait at least another day. It is just not all scabbed over, still has a bit that is dripping blood sometimes and I don't want to get it bleeding all over again. So another day or two to let it heal, and then I will be making up miles as much as I can on the bike.
My weight stayed the same this week: 243 pounds. I did get to see the endocrinologist last week and ask about weight loss surgery. She can't do my insurance referral... my primary physician has to do that. But she gave me the name of a surgeon and clinic she recommends and told me to go to one of their "information nights" to get more details about what's involved. She told me that some people have an underlying metabolic disorder that makes it very difficult to lose weight and easy to gain; she suspects that's what's going on with me. So I will check into WLS, but in the meantime I will keep following her diet recommendations (carbs come from mainly vegetables and some fruits, plenty of protein, little to no grains) and get back on the bike as soon as I am able.
I am at a point in my life where I want change. I have spent a lot of years pretty satisfied with everything: loving being a Mom, taking care of everyone, fostering pups and kitties, not working full time since my daughter was born. I've been in a complacent, comfortable little place in my relationships with everyone around me. I am in a house that I've loved for over 20 years, surrounded by big shade trees I planted when I bought the place, in a neighborhood that has been a true blessing for raising my children. I've been content to let things be the way they are for a long time, with the exception of trying to fix the whole weight issue. As my kids have grown up, married, graduated college, gotten jobs and their own places to live, I am starting to see things a little differently. Instead of everything I do being 100% about the kids, I have started to be able to let things be about *me.* I am finally letting myself be a priority too. All that energy I have put into taking care of children and teenagers needs a place to go. I funnel part of that into my youngest two, but then started putting it into volunteering in animal rescue over the past few years. I have loved that, too! But part of me is ready to channel that care-energy back into *myself.* I was driving a leg of a rescue transport last week and was thinking to myself... yes. I want to do this, to give back, to help animals in need. But I think when my current fosters find their forever homes, I am going to take a break. I need to put *all* that energy into getting myself better and getting what I want in life. I thought I had everything I could want, but actually, I am starting to think about changes: maybe moving to a smaller house in a different neighborhood, volunteering in different places than I currently do, joining a few local clubs for the socialization, going back to work... still as a biologist but in a different field than before. And most of all, getting myself into the best shape of my life, with vibrant health and energy. I think I deserve that, don't you? And I think I can make it happen.
I am 38 years old, female, a degree-holding stay-at-home-mom, and I weigh 278 pounds. I have been obese for ten years now. Time to get out of this fat prison I have made for myself.
--This is the original introduction I wrote when I first started this blog in 2007. I leave it as a reminder to myself of where I came from. Currently, I am 46 years old and weigh significantly less...see the blog for details. I lost 103 pounds, then had a partial regain, and am once again working at weight loss and better health.
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