It's been an interesting week here with the weird cravings and indulgences. I have had cravings for ice cream every single day since early in the week, and I think I bought 5 different pint flavors which is probably a record for me. Well no, I take that back. I am pretty sure I bought (and ate) more than 5 pints at some point when I used to binge. This time, I felt like I was reaching for some long lost sensation of the comfort of the Ice Cream Pint. Realizing that turns my thoughts to some emotional stuff that is probably driving those cravings, and understanding the WHY helps me not to panic and think I am actually going off the rails and on my way back to 280 pounds. I'm not. I am just in need of comfort and coping and I can do that without eating ice cream. No, I did not EAT the 5 pints of ice cream. One I ate in two days. Another I ate part and decided it was gross and threw it out. The others, I ate a scoop out of and then the kids finished them off. And there is one still in the freezer but I had a taste of it yesterday and it's not even good... it won't call to me. Instead, I am indulging in the first local red ripe strawberries of the season! Wow, now that is delicious! No comparison to junk.
But there *was* junk, aside from ice cream this week. There was also just too much carby food that wasn't junk, but also doesn't contribute to weight loss. There was an enchilada casserole and subsequent quesadillas. I had some chips, too much deli lunch meat, a bagel with cream cheese, and sloppy Joes on buns instead of on a salad. Oh, one day I even went through a drive-thru (Dairy Queen) and ordered a "Moo-Latte" (what an awful name, but it looked so good on the poster and I do love coffee). But WOW, I took a drink of that and it was SO sweet. It was just overwhelming like I was eating a brick of sugar! I took another sip, thinking, "I paid $4 for this??" and thought about going back and returning it but instead I decided "lesson learned" and threw it in the trash at home. As a result of all this nonsense I am up one pound to 227. I feel bloated and icky so I am pretty sure the pound will come back off in no time with healthy eating. It really doesn't take much effort; just throw some vegetables on the plate at every meal and cut up some fruit for snacks and "dessert." It'll get even easier in a week or two when my CSA box starts coming to my doorstep.
My activity slacked off this week without the accountability of the FitBit and writing my steps and biking minutes in my planner, so I am adding those tools back starting today to help encourage me to move more. I thought the habit would stick after a month, and it has, *but* I find myself not making the steps a priority like I was before. I'm sure I fell short of 7500 at least a couple days this week because I didn't make time for the second walk or didn't have a number to look at throughout the day to motivate me to keep going. Lesson learned... the FitBit is charging and getting attached to me as soon as I get up from writing this! I'll definitely meet my steps goal today.
Here comes the tray with bacon, eggs, cantaloupe and coffee for my Mother's Day breakfast! My daughter's so sweet. Hope you all have a wonderful day as well.
I am 38 years old, female, a degree-holding stay-at-home-mom, and I weigh 278 pounds. I have been obese for ten years now. Time to get out of this fat prison I have made for myself.
--This is the original introduction I wrote when I first started this blog in 2007. I leave it as a reminder to myself of where I came from. Currently, I am 46 years old and weigh significantly less...see the blog for details. I lost 103 pounds, then had a partial regain, and am once again working at weight loss and better health.
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