Saturday, May 14, 2016

A Long Rant

Stuff is happening this week, and I have gone back and forth for days between eating well and eating crappy. I've been eating less than healthy out of convenience, for comfort, and out of sheer laziness for the past few days and I am really feeling it in my body and mind. I'm feel very tired and get frustrated more easily on a processed food, higher carb diet and that has been *very* apparent this week. Regardless of what my weight is doing (staying the same), the way I feel is enough to make me stop in my tracks and make a u-turn, right now.

Primary events of my life right now, some happy and some not, but all contributing to the eating change:

Dear friend being diagnosed with cancer and scheduled for surgery next week.
Injured dog requiring care and attention daily.
Wonderful son bringing home his new girlfriend to meet the family and spend time with us.
Sick child for a couple of days (better now).
Meetings and prep for chaperoning a big overnight field trip with my daughter's class.
End of year dance recitals (love these! But there is a big time investment for a few weeks in May and June).
Helping my son shop for his first house (proud of him, he has worked hard for this. His older brother bought a condo earlier this year!)

My refrigerator died overnight, right after a big shopping trip where I bought lots of perishables like a large, lean sirloin roast, chicken sausages, ground turkey, milk, light dairy products, and my favorite splurge, fresh trout fillets. All warm and ruined by morning, when I discovered the problem by finding cold water instead of ice in the ice trays. Lots of trips up and down flights of stairs taking spoiled food out, lots of moving what was salvageable from the freezer to the chest freezer downstairs, lots of cleaning up melted, runny messes. I thought I was fine doing this but ended up with a painful knee and limping for 2 days. It's better now (brace, ice, rest and anti-inflammatories).

For the first 2 days we basically ate 2 meals a day out. That might not be a bad thing, generally speaking, because I could have gotten salads or protein and veggies. I chose cheap, because I knew we'd be eating out more often and had just lost a lot of $$$ in groceries. A burger and diet soda, or a cheap breakfast special (eggs, sausage, and a waffle). I also chose comfort (a cinnamon roll, a cookie with coffee). At a carnival I had a hot dog and a few bites of cotton candy. Poor choices because I was feeling overwhelmed and frustrated and frankly didn't care about nutrition in the moment. I care now, because I am waking up with a headache every day and have no energy and a lower frustration level for dealing with things.

I went shopping and found a new fridge that will fit in our smallish fridge space and it will be delivered in about a week and a half. When I realized how long it would take to get here, I knew I couldn't keep on with the eating out ($$$) and eating processed (health). So my task for today is to get the mini-fridge moved upstairs into the kitchen and get it stocked with small portions of healthy foods. Cooking is totally doable from the mini-fridge with some planning; I just have to cook smaller amounts (no room for leftovers in the fridge) and thaw meat from the freezer in the microwave on the day I cook it instead of thawing in the fridge overnight. We'll have fewer choices but it'll be okay.

Did any of you see the Extreme Weight Loss show this week where the trainer attempted to eat the client's unhealthy diet for a day? He had not eaten fast food in years, so after he ate greasy breakfast sandwiches and hash browns for breakfast and more salty, greasy food for lunch, he felt so sick he was vomiting and had to stop eating and rest for the day. He felt like he had a hangover the next day. He totally lost all energy and felt slow and depressed eating like that. Well, that's pretty much how I've felt with the choices I've made this week. I hate it so I'm not going to do that anymore.

I do this alot, I know. I see the pattern, I see how over the years I can go for weeks or months eating healthy and then something stressful or bothersome, exciting or scary, happens and I fly back into the old habits of eating what is easy, fast, and familiar (the stuff I used to eat before I lost weight). That's not a great thing, but at least I see it and turn it around before I start gaining a lot of weight. I can totally see why people who used to have such bad food habits and then change and lose a lot of weight, usually slip back into old habits and regain it all. It's soooo easy to let that happen! That's part of why I love blogging: it gives me a place to rant about what I am going through and SEE what excuses I have made and where it is going to lead me. Thank you for being the sounding board and being so supportive as I keep working to do better, and be better!

My first CSA box will arrive before my fridge will. I am going to be proactive and make SURE there is room in the mini fridge for some of it, and I am already planning recipes for meals the day the box arrives and the days after. I have a pretty good idea what is in season locally right now because I see it at the produce stands: asparagus, lots of greens, spring onions, strawberries. I don't know what else will be coming but I'm going to be ready to use that produce for healthy meals. Until then, I will use frozen meats and veggies and fill the mini fridge wisely.

Thanks again for listening! I feel better already.


David Dane said...

Hey Lynn,
I have posted on my blog about fat. I don't know if you can navigate there. ... Anyway, Fat is your friend. It's not the enemy that it has been made out to be. I saw your post when you made that delicious meat stew. It looked wonderful. Only, I hope you didn't eat it all in one sitting. That is the fallacy of the High Protein< low Carbs diet. The protein spikes insulin levels up. It's not as high as with eating carbs. Your struggle Lynn is with Insulin resistance. It's the same one I struggled with. I could go on a low carb, protein, fat diet and still not lose a pounds. It's because my insulin would stay higher than the normal person. I hate to say it dear, but your "Healthy Eating" is your stumbling block. I saw you have strawberries. Well, there goes your already high insulin. You ate all that meat. Well, there goes your already high insulin. My diet is different. I have cut out the carbs. I limit the amount of protein I take in, and I consume a lot of fat. I actually melt butter and drink it. That's because I hate eating it by itself, and I am not a big fan of fat. I just don't like it. That said, it's the one tool I can use to eliminate food cravings. I know you don't want to hear all this. But, you are going to continue to fight food cravings, and feeling sick until you throw out the carbs and fully adapt to a Ketogenic Diet. There is only one other way you can beat this thing. You are going to have to start fasting for periods in the day. That means you wake up, maybe eat some protein, then go until dinner to eat. No more snacks, no more goodies. Then when you get used to that. Start doing alternate days of fasting for 24 hours between meals. I am serious your struggle is INSULIN resistance dear... Sorry to say... And quit eating so much meat. That too spikes that insulin up...

David Dane said...

Lyn said...

hi David,

No worries! I had a small serving over cauliflower "rice" and my boys ate most of the rest. We only had a small helping left over and sadly, it died with the fridge. I don't think I'll be drinking any melted butter, but you'd probably like my breakfast this morning: a cup of black coffee and a whole avocado. Lots of healthy fat!

Thanks for sharing your experience. I always like to hear about what is working for others and am open to any new information :)

LHA said...

Lyn, I'm sorry to hear about the stressful situations going on with you. Some are actually a happy kind of stress, but stress nonetheless. I don't know if this will help you, but I was actually discussing with my nutritionist recently the issue of overeating unhealthy foods and what to do about it. The times when I am most likely to do this is when I am traveling or during a holiday. We finally decided that a realistic goal for me right now is to make sure that the period of poor eating ends as soon as possible, and that getting back on track quickly is what will save me from regaining too much weight. I have actually adopted that and it is helping to keep it in mind. It sounds like you have already made plans to get back to healthy eating in spite of the refrigerator problem, so to me you are doing very well. There may be some people who just never vary their eating regardless of the circumstances but I know there are many more of us who have to refocus on healthy eating after a lapse. Good luck going forward!

Anonymous said...

This reminds me of this quote:
“I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place.
But, it isn't my fault.
It still takes me a long time to get out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in. It's a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault. I get out immediately.

walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

I walk down another street.”

― Portia Nelson, There's a Hole in My Sidewalk: The Romance of Self-Discovery

Anonymous said...

This sounds like normal life to me. You have a stressful week and don't stay "perfect" on your eating. This is what 99% of the population does, honey. Don't be so hard on yourself. If someone can go through all that and keep eating salads every day, more power too them! But most people, no matter what they claim, eat differently (less healthy) under stress.

Anonymous said...

Good luck, Lyn! i thought of you today at the farmer's market. I got tomatoes, cucumbers and strawberries. And a bought a pint of vanilla ice cream at the gas station to eat with my strawberries ;) but am going to have only 1-2 servings from it. It is all about balance for us!

Unknown said...

Hi David,
I'm curious as to whether you mean 'glucose' in some sentences in your post? Insulin resistance is one thing, but to say that meat spikes insulin in the same way that strawberries do is erroneous and potentially unhealthy. I'd be curious where your information comes from.