After my post the other day I had to really force myself to keep staying active and trying to eat low carb. But I said to myself... Self, either lose the weight or stop it and go eat what you want and deal with the consequences. You're an adult. Make your choices.
Today my Facebook page on my phone showed me a picture of new Oreo Toaster Strudels. When I saw it, I just sat there and stared, longing filling my soul. I could just go buy a box of those, I have to have it. I can just eat one. Or I can eat as many as I want and try to do better tomorrow. I kind of hit a crossroads, because I felt like I was in my old mindset of running after a vision of possible binge food... something I have not done in years. Instead, I shut off my phone and took a walk.
I decided that although I don't want to "diet" and don't want to count calories, I do want to make healthy choices on a case by case basis. I might even choose to have a dessert once in awhile, but I want it to be worth it. Something special, homemade. Not junk from a box. So I let it go... I am not that person who chases the ghost of junk after being triggered by an ad or a photo or a mention. I am an adult in control of my own choices.
I don't always make great choices, like yesterday when I went out to a movie theater with friends and we shared a lunch of buttered popcorn, Coke, and Red Vines. Sometimes I eat healthy, but too carby for me, foods, like last night's curry chicken and vegetables over rice with a half piece of naan bread. Sometimes I eat things that might be okay, like when we had tacos for dinner this week: I ate two. Is that reasonable? Are the 2 crunchy corn shells too carby? Maybe. I am trying to eat better, but still enjoy.
Today I made the choice to eat fewer carbs, so lunch was hard boiled eggs and steamed asparagus and dinner was a taco salad (greens, salsa, light Ranch, lean ground turkey, a sprinkle of cheese, and avocado) and I felt good eating that. So I'll make more of an effort to leave the carbs out of my meals more often.
Adding on to my last post, my activity has continued: steps at 7525, 8077, and today 8094 so far (not done!) I'm biking every day still, 5 minutes yesterday and 16 today. I'm glad to be getting into the 8000's now with the steps and biking a little more on alternate days.
I don't need Oreo Toaster Strudels to make me happy or fulfilled. I don't need to say Yes to every food I think I'd like. And I don't have to feel deprived because I say No once in awhile.
Here's to a better weight at the end of this month.
I am 38 years old, female, a degree-holding stay-at-home-mom, and I weigh 278 pounds. I have been obese for ten years now. Time to get out of this fat prison I have made for myself.
--This is the original introduction I wrote when I first started this blog in 2007. I leave it as a reminder to myself of where I came from. Currently, I am 46 years old and weigh significantly less...see the blog for details. I lost 103 pounds, then had a partial regain, and am once again working at weight loss and better health.
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