Saturday, April 16, 2016

No Cheese Today!

What a fun day we had today! I love this time of year with the good weather! It makes it easier to get out and walk. I hate being cold, so I know winter walks are going to be a big challenge. I'll figure that out when I come to it.

Today I got to sleep in until 8:30 which was just so nice! After a leisurely cup of coffee I had breakfast. You worriers will be happy to know my breakfast was NOT cheese! In fact, I have not eaten ANY cheese or bacon today :) But it wasn't a low carb day either. Breakfast was leftover pasta sauce thick with lean ground beef and turkey sausage (no pasta) and some sliced, buttered French bread. You know, I find it really easy to skip pasta. The pasta itself isn't that appealing to me (it's all about the sauce!) and I can do zucchini noodles or sliced summer squash in place of pasta. But one of my favorite foods is crusty bread with cold butter. So although I *am* reducing carbs overall, I did have that bread with the sauce this morning. I'm sure you're going to just *love* what I had for lunch! I took my daughter and her friend to see The Jungle Book in the afternoon, so my lunch was buttered movie popcorn and a diet Coke. Dinner's going to be something super low carb, maybe some steak and veggies. I didn't need or want any snacks today; everything I ate was satisfying enough!

So I know (based on past experience) that some people will be just appalled at my choices today. I didn't share this for no reason, though. I'm sharing this because I think today exemplifies what I am working towards for life: flexibility instead of rigidity, choices instead of restriction, happiness instead of guilt. I will not be ashamed of what I eat. I refuse to feel "bad" for making a decision to eat things I enjoy, in moderation, in a state of feeling sane about food. This is *very* different from how I have eaten and felt for the past decade or more. I used to think of a food I wanted, then feel bad for wanting it. Then I'd eat vegetables instead and fight the craving. I'd try and try to stop myself from eating certain foods. I'd get a desperation in my head and when I finally gave in, it would end in a binge... not just of huge amounts of the desired food, but of everything else I had been depriving myself of for days or weeks. And then I'd feel huge and gross and terribly guilty.

No more! Listen, I know I won't lose weight if I eat candy bars or movie popcorn or buttered French bread in large amounts or often. No one has to explain that to me. But I also know I won't lose weight depriving myself of things I enjoy, white knuckling it through another "diet" and feeling horrible every time I "go off" my diet. I did not "go off" a diet today. I calmly chose to eat a reasonable portion of higher carb foods. I consciously decided that while yes, this is a higher carb day, that's all right. If I have a higher carb day once every 2 weeks, or however often I feel like doing it, that is just a choice in maintaining my calmness and food sanity.

Do you know what I crave now? Nothing. Is there more French bread in the kitchen? Yes. Do I want it? No! I am fine, I feel good, and I will make lower carb choices 90% of the time so that my blood sugar stays stable. (By the way, the post title is a little joke. I don't actually restrict cheese, much to the chagrin of some readers! But I thought some might appreciate that I actually had a cheese-free day.)

I walked a couple of miles with my dog when I got home from the movie, and it was just so nice to be *able* to walk like that! I'll bike shortly.

Oh hey, here is something funny. We went to a theater with reclining seats. When we all sat down, we were trying to figure out how to make them recline. Suddenly, my chair was reclining! The kids said "hey, how'd you get it to recline?" and I said "I don't know, it just reclined automatically!" We continued looking for a button or something and then suddenly my chair went back to normal, by itself! Turns out, the recline switch is on the inside of the arm rest and my ample hip was pressing on it every time I shifted around in the seat! Ha. I thought it was pretty funny... and at least I have another way to gauge my weight loss. I'll have to go sit in those seats again 50 pounds from now and see if they still recline themselves!


LHA said...

I think what you ate today sounds reasonable. Coupled with a two mile walk I would say you had a very healthy day overall. The main thing is that you didn't allow yourself to be deprived and resentful and you had fun with your family. Good attitude!

JM said...

Calorie wise probably good but popcorn and Diet Coke solid my blood sugar like crazy!!!

JM said...

Spike my....blood sugar!

Lyn said...

Thanks LHA! I ended up taking another walk this evening (a shorter one with my other dog) and then biked.


really, diet sodas? Interesting. I'll have to look into that.

Anonymous said...

Hi Lyn, Just wanted to say keep up the good work. Ignore the criticism of folks who couldn't possibly know what is best for YOU. Weight loss/health blogs seem to attract some of the most judgmental, arrogant commenters on the interwebs. Everyone's an expert, and anyone with a differing opinion has to be WRONG. LOL! I suspect strongly that the reduction of restrictive dieting will be very good for your mental and physical well being. You clearly know what has and hasn't worked, and those of us with emotional eating issues deal with a whole different set of constraints versus those who can simply count their calories day in and day out and boom, lose weight. For us it's not a matter of not understanding how much we are eating/calorie counts but a matter of identifying and controlling our triggers. Just my 2 cents, I think many of your critics haven't been in your/my shoes before. Stay strong girl, keep us posted :)

Kate said...

Hey, Lyn

I'm not much of a commenter, but I've been following your journey since pretty much the very beginning. I just wanted to say say, I am so, SO freaking proud of you. SO PROUD. And happy for you! I love that you've finally been able to build a life based on moderated but pleasurable food experiences, enjoyable exercise, a diet flexible enough to accommodate special events and outings, yet a kind of peace with your mind that now doesn't drive you into binges, guilt and shame, self-punishment, self-deprivation, rise & repeat.

I know that as an outsider (someone who has not battled with being overweight/obese), I can't truly understand all of your journey and your pain; but I am in recovery from anorexia and bulimia, so I have some idea of the desperation to lose weight, the food obsessions, the compulsion to inhale food forever, the underlying pain, guilt, shame. I have some idea of what it takes to commit to recovery, to persevere through the rough, to white-knuckle through the drowning dark....for years on end. We are survivors. Fighters. And we are damned-well winning.

I can only imagine the kind of guts it's taken to put your journey on your journey and be subject to the awful comments of so many. Please, please never lose sight of how amazing you are to have gotten to this point. I don't care how many naysayers send you crap about your food decisions here: All I see is genuine mental *health*; someone honouring their body, their mind, and the beauty of each moment, which can be enjoyed in many different ways -- including with sensible amounts of special foods when they have no triggering effect. This is such an amazing mindset to reach, and I truly hope we can maintain this for life; or pick ourselves up from any challenges and return quickly to health.

As a long-time reader, I want to say thank-you for sharing your journey with us, and writing about things I've struggled with but could not put words to. I've learned so much from you. I've been grateful and in awe of your ability to articulate the physical and emotional ups and downs, your constant honesty and self-searching, and your working toward a healthier life for yourself and so you can be the most involved, long-lived mama possible for your kids. They're lucky to have scored one heck of a strong, resilient, loving mama bear. And as someone with lifelong severe medical issues, I have so much respect for the way you've preserved your kids' privacy and dignity. I don't know if they're able to realise yet how special that is, but they will.

Regarding the comment about artificial sweeteners causing blood glucose spikes, this is not accurate. There has been some poorly conducted research (largely in mice) that raised this concern, but it has been disproven by further, much better quality research. Unfortunately, many websites and even a handful of popular-online medical doctors continue to promote this idea -- almost always as a subtle way to scare people into buying whatever products they're selling. All artificial sweeteners are very safe for human consumption -- unless you're eating many pounds of them per day! The exception is phenylalanine (aspartame), which is actually an essential amino acid needed by the human body, but which cannot be metabolised in people born with a rare genetic defect called phenylketonuria.

(Please note, I'm not looking to dismiss folks' personal experiences that have led them to this conclusion; I'm just saying that such experiences are attributable to other factors, for example, sensitivity to caffeine that is also present in colas and some other sodas.)

Oops, this comment got crazy long! But I feel like it's important to make sure you know that there are readers who absolutely support you with this -- delicious cheese and all! -- and not let those who have only criticism to have the loudest voice.

Very best wishes to you,

JDET said...

Great performance, Lyn. All that exercise can offset a lot of "sins" of eating. If you walk that much regularly, you will definitely lose weight. If this keeps you from binging, that's a lot more important than following something restrictive that makes you unhappy! I'm going to go get a big, fat breakfast after church. Lots of eggs, cheese, ham, and bacon. It's killing all those low-fat diehards!! Then I might make some popcorn, too!

Lyn said...


Thank you! I'm just doing what gives me peace and makes me happy instead of what makes me all stressed out and upset. Eating this way WORKS for my mental health, now I just have to see if it works for weight loss, too! I know I can tweak it if I need to without going overboard. Thank you for the support.


What a great comment to wake up to this sunny Sunday morning! Thank you so much. It's so nice to hear from someone who has been there reading my blog all along and really *gets* what I am doing... compared to what I have done. Your words mean a lot to me!

As for diet soda, well I was thinking about this last night. When I was on Medifast, my blood sugar was GREAT! It was stable and healthy and I never felt any spikes or crashes. I'd say it was the best it's ever been (by how I felt, lack of cravings, and blood work). And on Medifast my whole DAY was full of artificial sweeteners. So if it was a problem for me I probably would have noticed it then. Now, I have artificial sweeteners far less often: a diet soda a couple times a month, a sugar free popsicle or jello or something once a week or so, and the occasional protein shake or bar. I think that is an okay amount of artificial stuff for me right now.


Your omelets sound good! Enjoy!

Anonymous said...

You go girl! This is your life and you can do what you want. In moderation everything is possible. It works just fine for me too. I must say I love to take walks. Being outside gaves me lost of energiy and a good mood.

Anonymous said...

Wasn't your mom diabetic? Maybe be pro-active if there is a family history you are pre-disposed.

Lyn said...


No, my mom was not diabetic. None of my family has been diabetic, including parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. on both sides. Lucky me, there doesn't seem to be any genetic predisposition for diabetes! But of course being fat is a risk factor so I do need to get that under control.

TheAgonyOfBeingFat said...

It sucks that you have to justify eating something. Everybody's a critic these days.

Sam J. said...

Just curious: have you ever sat down with a registered dietician to talk about your diet? To get the medical point of view on your intake?

Wishing you nothing but the best.


Lyn said...


Well, I think that is a big part of what's wrong with a "diet" mentality. It is all about "right" and "wrong" foods, as if eating and Oreo vs. a piece of celery is a moral issue. It is about guilt, and shame. I have had enough of guilt and shame over my eating. It never did anything for me but to drive me to eat more. I have been watching documentaries about eating disorders and what stands out to me is there is so much FEAR of food in anorexia and bulimia and even binge eating disorder. I got tired of living that way. I think some of the commenters aren't quite there yet, know what I mean?

Sam J~

yes, I have, but the sad thing about it (to me) is that they promote the FDA food pyramid type way of eating with little regard for things like triggers or personal likes and dislikes. Last time I spoke with a dietitian there was some plan where you quarter your plate and 1/4 of your plate should be grains. I know that doesn't work well for me, so I don't follow it. My endocrinologist is giving me specific eating advise that I think is better suited for me: meals based on protein and non-starchy vegetables, and smaller portions of non-tropical and non-dried fruits. She believes, as I do, that I will feel better and be healthier with minimal grains and very little refined sugar. I'm not following her plan perfectly, but I am close! She has a lot of nutritional information in her office as well. She's pretty awesome!

Becky Sutherland said...

Your story about the reclining seats made me laugh. I thought I was the only one with that problem. I had to put my cell phone over the buttons to keep my large stomach from constantly hitting the buttons.

JM said...

I just found this out about diet coke, and YES other diet sodas. I was SHOCKED. Google it, also the popcorn, but my AC1 went from 5.8 to 6.0 after starting Diet Coke again in Feb. My doctor told me to cut the DC immediately, and ive been off it for a week. after I researched it there is quite a bit of info on the web relating to it.

Anonymous said...

Please everyone! It is simple math. Calories burnt versus intake.

If you have an addictive issue with food -- get help!

Many that are obese are very hungry when they cut their calorie count down. Which is understandable.

Drink a ton of water. Take Apple Cider Vinegar (Bragg's with the Mother) Curbs the appetite. AND WALK. You could easily get up to 3 miles a day after time. Then start setting the incline up if you have a treadmill.