Friday, February 26, 2016

Free


Hi all. I am still here coughing up a lung with this cold or whatever I have (I am actually lots better this morning, but still fighting off the remnants of the coughing). I cannot believe the whole week has gone by with me getting so little done and being sick. I feel like I totally wasted the week! I had lists of things to do and all the ambition to do it, yet none of the big stuff got done. The month of February is probably going to be a wash for weight loss. That's too bad; I do want to keep losing even if at a slow pace of 2 pounds a month. If the pounds STAY off, like they have from last year, that is a success to me.

I tend to indulge myself a lot when I am sick. Well... okay... I tend to indulge myself whenever I can! There is something really happy and freeing to me to be UN-restricted in my eating habits and yet have no desire to binge and no sensation of being 'triggered.' That has been the biggest success of my journey, in my opinion. I do think the next step of recovery is to learn to balance the not-dieting, not-restricting, relaxed mindset about food with a joyful, moderate effort to lose weight. Note I said joyful: it is important to me that weight loss efforts don't turn into misery. That has happened so many times in the past. I am not going there again.

Anyway, my weight has been 228-229 the whole time I've been sick so I doubt there will be a loss for February, but who knows? I'll find out when I weigh in for the month on Tuesday.

What I like best about where I am now is this: I do not get that feeling like "I am doing all I can, I am working so hard, I skipped so many foods I liked, and I am STILL not losing weight!" That was always such a frustrating thing about dieting. There were times I was counting calories ad restricting to 1200 or less AND exercising and still did not see any weight loss, or it was very slow. It was like the dieting was consuming my life, and I was not even getting the results I thought I deserved from the effort. So frustrating. Now, I am NOT working hard at it. I am not stressed and not focusing my life around food and diet. When I lose weight that's good and when I don't I just keep going and stay calm about the eating, and (when I am not sick) increase the happy exercise (happy exercise = walking, biking, working in the yard, swimming, being generally active in life. Stuff I enjoy.) I still believe that there will come a time when my body and mind realize that I am not going to starve myself or punish myself with diets for being fat anymore, and this will allow my body to return to a healthy state. I truly believe that if I continue feeding myself good things and not stressing about weight, the weight will *naturally* start falling off... and will stay off. What do you think of this leg of my journey? Do you think it will work?

For today, I am resting as much as possible, drinking lots of fluids, making chicken soup (for the third time this week) and eating lots of fruit. I am starting to feel better and I have a volunteering seminar to attend two mornings this weekend, an afternoon birthday party Saturday and a social event Sunday evening at a friend's house. I don't want to be coughing and sick for those things so hopefully today will be enough to get rid of the last of this cold!

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

It is obviously working! Kudos to you for figuring it out and losing so much weight. I use to read your blog when you were losing before and sometimes you did sound very stressed about it all. Your so calm now and I am sure you will succeed. I am taking a key from your success and calming my own thoughts about dieting. Thank you!

Rachel rbs said...

Just keep taking care of yourself and get better!

Lyn said...

Thank you both!

Lori said...

I absolutely KNOW this will work. You have so many successes that aren't necessarily measured by the scales or even tape measure. Peace with food is a major one. The knowing that weight loss can happen 'naturally' as you find your balance with fullness and exercise. It seems to me that you are spot on and the weight loss will seem effortless.

I totally get the frustration of working soooooo hard and not seeing the results of the effort. If every time we passed up ice cream or fast food a pound, even 1/2 pound, fell off it would be so much easier to skip those indulgences.

I hope you continue to feel better. No guilt allowed. It is important to rest and hydrate. The stuff will be there later. You can do it then.
Lori

Lyn said...

Thanks so much Lori! It means a lot to me when friends like you affirm what I am doing. I feel pretty confident, but positive feedback just confirms what I am feeling. Life is good! Hope you are doing well also.

Anonymous said...

It will work as long as you don't start with the Medi-Fast and 1200 calories a day again. You need to eat to heal!

TheAgonyOfBeingFat said...

Doesn't it seem like those stupid colds last forever? Especially that lingering cough.

Hope you feel better soon!

Anonymous said...

i think it will work if you stick at it for the rest of your life.... but by "work" i mean that during that period, you'll probably be happier (if you're truly well with yourself and truly not bothered by the pace), and you'll lose maybe 5 - 10 pounds per year. i don't think the weight will fall off as quickly as even 2 pounds per month. i say this from personal experience. the "not bingeing, not crazy" mental mindset is truly wonderful. it does NOT necessarily lead to much weight loss in an older body that has had years of yo-yo dieting. it's nice to not feel crazy and not hate yourself. but unless you're truly okay with your body looking how it does (and you may well be! why not be?), you likely won't experience the 'progress' that you feel should happen. how you eat now may look wildly different than your binge days, but it probably won't equate to wildly different weight loss if you're anything like me. it'll look more like maintaining. you can do "joyful weight loss" - i've done it - but it's weight loss that means essentially exercise and a lower-calorie diet, just done WITHOUT the "i hate myself" mindset. it's unlikely to happen at this point if you're just eating in moderation. the healthy brain IS a wonderful thing, and makes life so, so, so much more enjoyable. but it doesn't = serious weight loss. it's just a different thing.

Lyn said...

Anon~

very interesting thoughts. You have some good points. It made me think about what I am choosing. I guess I *would* choose the happy healthy brain even if it mean staying this weight forever, over the obsessive/stressed diet mindset I have experienced in the past but with weight loss. I would choose the more enjoyable life over the thinner life... but I know not everyone would do that, and some would say you don't have to choose and can have both. Maybe in the future I will be able to restrict and work harder at weight loss without getting stressed out or obsessive... maybe that will be part of the progression. I do think eating like I am (all foods I want in moderation) *can* result in weight loss, even more than 1-2 pounds a month. I would agree with your last 2 sentences if instead of 'serious' weight loss it said 'rapid' weight loss. Maybe even slow weight loss can be serious! Thanks for that thought provoking comment. I am really excited to see how things eventually turn out for me!

JDET said...

Glad you're getting better. Hope you can stay on track during these weekend social events!

Lyn said...

Thanks JDET. Today went well; there was no food at the seminar (I brought my green tea latte) and at the birthday party I had a bottle of water, some raw veggies with a little dip, 2 little spiral turkey roll ups that were about 2 bites each, a couple of Doritos, and a mini Reeses cup. The bit of candy was enough and I didn't want any cake.

I got a lot of walking in today but I feel worse tonight and am resorting to a Hot Toddy this evening to help me get some sleep.