Yeah, this is just not working for me. I just have no joy in the process anymore.
When I said this would be my "one last shot," I meant it. I said if I could not stick to this plan I would quit. Well, maybe I could stick to this plan, but I don't want to. I am happier when I am not sucked up in "dieting." Setting this down is a relief to me... almost "permission" to fully immerse myself in my own life, putting all of my attention on enjoying my family, doing the things that bring me joy. I am going to eat healthfully, but it will just be a normal part of my life and not the focus.
Thanks for the support. It's been great getting to know many of you. I'd love to document getting back to a healthy weight, but not like this. When things change, I may write again. But for now, goodbye and God bless each of you on your journey.