Tuesday, June 30, 2015

One Last Shot


We are back from our trip and I have to say it was one of the best long weekends ever! It was wonderful to spend time together, hike in the forest, cook on the grill at the cabin, and roast marshmallows in the fire pit. The weather was perfect and we saw so many beautiful birds, deer, and even a bear. I loved it so much I am already planning to go back to the same spot later this summer for a longer stay. I find nature so renewing! Being out in the woods makes me happy.

Well, it's been a lot of years on this blog. I am going to take one last shot at getting some weight off. I don't want to keep screwing around trying this and that, getting little to no results and blogging about it repeatedly. I think that kind of behavior and documentation has its place; for me, it has been valuable to write down what I am doing and my results and how I feel over the years, to learn about what makes me tick and what works and what doesn't and to become aware of my patterns. But I am wearing thin on patience and starting to feel like it's pretty pointless to keep blogging about my weight, eating, etc when I have tried pretty much every approach already and am just retrying things I have already done and not making meaningful progress with weight loss. I don't want to do it anymore.

I am giving it one last shot in July with a commitment to do the following:

Track my calories every day in MyFitnessPal and aim to stay around 1200-1300 calories/day.
Put the FitBit back on, wear it daily, and make an effort to keep my activity and calorie intake in a balance that will result in weight loss.
Stay gluten free and reduce my sugar intake; eat mainly produce and protein.
At least take a walk, ride the bike, or swim five days a week minimum. I believe this is *key* to my losing a significant amount of weight.
By the end of the month, have a consistent strength training routine 2-3 days a week.

If I cannot stick to this for the month of July, I quit.

Eight years is enough, so either I'm about to make a big turnaround and start losing this weight for the last time, or I'm done blogging about it.

That said, I won't ever give up on trying to be healthier and lose weight... I just won't be blogging about it until there is something truly new to report.

22 comments:

Joanna said...

About 15 months ago, I went to the MD partner of my PCP and she "supervised" my weight loss plan. I log in MFP everyday. No exceptions. I wore a FitBit for a year until it died. I can count the number of times on my fingers that I went off plan. It worked after nothing ever worked before. I still know nothing about how to eat like a normal person but I now know that I don't get to ever eat sweets. White potatoes, rice and other grains are out. I have been GF (no exceptions) for 2+ years. That helps with structure so there are no indulgent restaurant moments. There just can't be any exceptions. Every time you have to get back on the horse, the horse is a little higher until the horse is insurmountable.

My weight loss doctor would read my MFP log at every appointment, about every three weeks. I think you need an accountability partner but I think the blog is very counter productive. You need to live for yourself, not for your readers. When you eat, do visions of your blog come into your head? Your weight is your business and no one else's.

P.S. I do not think 1200 calories is sustainable. I am on 1560. I don't aim for a range of calories. I try to get close to that number. Logging is an absolutely every day thing. I don't think anyone should have to write down everything they eat, but nothing else worked for me. I think I have developed a bit of an eating disorder in that I feel excessive guilt if I am not absolutely perfect. I am working on that because nothing is perfect...but then again, binging and dieting is no way of life either.

Lee said...


I understand how difficult it must be to write of your perceived failures. I wish you success in your renewed attempt. Please be aware that reading of your struggles helps your readers know that they are not alone in their frustrations. It can be very disheartening to feel as if you are the only one unable to reach your goals. Your blog gives some hope to those of us who appear to be in an eternal struggle...To know that we are not the only one who can't seem to hold onto that slippery brass ring. Wishing you Good Luck

Anonymous said...

Oh Lyn have followed you for years and have had many many similar journeys. But I can predict this will be the end just by the way you are writing it. I know a therapist once told me to listen to how many times I use the words might,may,try,instead of will,do and be. I see myself in you a lot. Also I strongly urge you to try Belviq or similar new weight loss drug (no I am no sponsor) seem to work incredibly for about a year. But that is long enough to change a habit and a life.even worst case scenario- most only gain half back if that. Yes expensive though more insurance covering. But can save your life. Please talk to your doctor. Worth a try. I think you are beautiful ,bright amazing and ready. Do something different. You. Can do this.

Lyn said...

Joanna~

That is wonderful that you have found your groove. I really hope to find mine as well. I think an accountability partner is a good idea; I've talked to a dear friend of mine who also wants to lose weight, and she is also making a plan and starting tomorrow. We will talk to each other every day and support each other the best we can. I also still have a mentor I talk to once or twice a week just to encourage me and give feedback.

I don't know if 1200 is sustainable, but I am going off my metabolic testing results plus my experience that I just don't lose if I eat 1500+ calories. I seem to maintain at 1450 if I exercise a few times a week. So... 1200-1300 is my goal, although if I have a higher day on rare occasion (when I am actually hungry, which is often due to a high activity day or hormone cycles) it would probably average out to 1300ish over a month. We'll see.

When I eat, no, I don't really think about the blog. I used to, years ago when I blogged every day. Now I go days without thinking about it sometimes. It just has not been as big a part of my life as it once was.

Lee~

thank you, I really appreciate that.

Anonymous~

I know you p.s.'ed that I didn't need to publish your comment, but I think the sentiment and information you gave was really nice and might help others too. Thank you for the kind words. I will look up the medication too. Thanks!

Anonymous said...

what about today? what are you doing today?

Lyn said...

Anonymous~

Today I am charging my FitBit, going swimming with my daughter, and making chicken, potatoes, and salad for dinner. I went grocery shopping so I have plenty of healthy choices, and got some 100 calorie packs of almonds and some light string cheese for quick snacks. How about you?

Anonymous said...

Hi Lyn
I've followed you since the beginning (but I don't think I've ever commented before). I went from 270 to 190 during the time you were having big losses, and I steadily gained up to 260 again in the course of a few years (injuries and other life changes, with short lived attempts to lose again). I finally ate myself into diabetes last year. That has (hopefully) been what I needed as a wake up call. I've lost 60 lbs in the year since I've been diagnosed, it's been slow and uneven, but I haven't had any gains in the year either. I've given myself permission to maintain for periods times, and not spend every day in a calorie deficit.
I think this approach has been good for me-I don't feel nearly as deprived, and when I do go over my calories I still track don't go overboard nearly as often. Even though I'm only averaging less than a pound a week (I lost 20 pretty quickly at first), I'm not cycling through the lose 10 lbs gain 5 lbs all or nothing mentality I used to have. I'm learning how to both lose and maintain. I've been fat for about 35 of my 40something years in this world, an extra year or two to lose all of the weight seems like a better choice to me than beating myself up emotionally and physically to have a quick loss.

I initially lost weight through weight watchers, this time I am doing it all through MFP.

I'm not trying to give you advice because I'm sure you have read more about weight loss than me, but I just wanted to share what's been working for me since we've been at this about the same length of time. I do agree that the calorie limit you described seems too low, even if you aren't very active now.

I wish you luck in your attempt, and hope you are successful and keep writing. You are a good writer and I've enjoyed your blog over the years even if you have frustrated me at times. Good luck!

Lyn said...

Anonymous~

thank you! Yes, hearing your experience is helpful. I think if I could get 20 pounds off ASAP, I would be content after that to drop a pound a week on average. Weighing 240 is just intolerable to me. It is SO much worse than 220. I can tolerate 220 with slow losses. So here's hoping I can get that first 20 off by this fall and then just keep chipping away until I get the rest off. I will pay attention to my calories and adjust them up if I am able to while still feeling good and losing weight.

kathyj333 said...

I hear you. I'm talking one last shot at everything, including weight loss myself. I hope you do well. My very best to you!

Anonymous said...

I wanted to ask you- when you track food do you use a scale and measuring cups? That is the only thing that possibly stood out to me as an area where your diet may be "going wrong". If you don't already, for the last hurrah, I would recommend weighing your food. 3oz chicken, for instance, is WAY different that what packaging would lead you to believe. (Some frozen chicken breasts are 2oz, some are 5!). Smearable substances (peanut butter, jelly, butter) or small solids (raisins, seeds, peanuts) also pack a wallop in a REALLY small amounts. I almost cried when I actually measured 2 TBS of peanut butter (aka a "serving size of 190 calories). It is not even enough to spread on 1 piece of bread. I bet I was using 2-4 serving sizes, easy. Same with a "glass" of milk equaling a cup (the glass lies!)and variations in sizes of foods like apples and bananas. Pretty much the only thing I didn't bother weighing at one point or another was lettuce (because 3 cals vs. 5 cals is really negligible -_-) Food for thought (and if you are already diligent about weighing, never mind) :)

Cindy Francis said...

Lyn,

I've been reading your blog for over a year now. When I see a new post from you it's the first one I will read because I'm so caught up in your story. I've struggled with my weight for over 20 years. I've lost 85 pounds and kept it off for over 10 years but the struggle never stops. I read your blog because you inspire me to stay strong. You are an inspiration to many! You can do this...you've done it before! I hope the best for you and I hope to keep reading about your journey. Best to you!
Cindy

Lyn said...

kathyj~

Thank you. I wish the same for you!

Anonymous~

yes, I do measure everything when I track. I used to only use measuring cups and spoons and "eyeball" anything else, but one thing I got out of being on Medifast was I had to weigh my protein. I got a digital food scale and use it for meats and anything that doesn't measure well in cups/measuring spoons. The only exception is a piece of fruit or vegetable or an egg. I track "one large apple" or "one medium carrot" and don't weigh or measure those.

Cindy~

Thank you so much. I'm glad you feel inspired by what I write! I know there are a *lot* of people out there fighting this battle for years and years. You've done well keeping off the weight... even if you struggle. It means you are strong :) Best to you too.

Lyn said...

Kara with TSFL~

I appreciate your question about my Medifast experience but didn't feel comfortable publishing your comment with your phone number included, so I'll just answer you this way. I did Medifast through the company itself, and I had a dietition from Medifast working with me. I had great success with the program, going from 234 pounds to 175. The problem was that I was unable to maintain the weight loss over the long term. I did the full program including Dr. A's books and workbooks and the Medifast forum which used to be a wonderful support system (but now is not). Thanks for asking!

Taryl said...

I'm cheering for you! I think exercise, accountability, and low sugar and starch is a great idea for you. It is health promoting regardless of what the scale does.

Betsey C. said...

Glad you had a nice weekend away, Lyn. I also love the woods. I just got back from a week in a cabin on a lake in northern Wisconsin, and I feel rested and refreshed. I have also renewed my commitment to health and better fitness. Good luck to all of us!

Sara said...

I'm two years into maintenance and my heart is breaking for you-you CAN do this. Really, you can. I actually just started a new series on my blog today, and the first post is pretty hard hitting, but is sooo true (take a peek if you have time) at-http://www.dirtyeatinggirl.com/2015/07/food-notes-63015-so-you-want-to-lose.html

Karen said...

Hi Lyn,

I lost my weight with Medifast and you and I were due to hit our goals about the same time in 2012. I remember vividly that in July 4th, 2011, you were joking around (your blog or your FB page for your blog) about going off plan at the party you were attending. I was also attending a party (in my own city) and told you I knew you'd stay on plan. You made the choice to go off plan. About 2 weeks later, I accepted the fact that sugars and grains were like drugs to me. If I wanted to stop a life time of compulsive over eating, I'd have to stop putting those substances in my body. Easier said than done, but many choose to stop eating white substances.

Anyhoo, Joanna's comments are very very true for me- I cannot and don't put any white foods in my body- potatoes, sugar, flour, all grains, especially gluten, anything starchy, maybe 1/4 cup berries a few times a week- YES! Potatoes are now on the Whole30 and consumed by many in the Paleo-sphere, but they raise my blood sugar and binge urges. Being accountable for every single meal to a support person, sponsor, etc works for many. Sharing your MFP is very easy now. I document many of my meals (not all) on my KarensPaleoLife instagram account. (I'm non-commercial, not selling anything but the idea of eating real food for long term health). Real food, no sugars, no grains, very few binge urges. 24/7/365 I still track in MFP because I can tend to trend higher in my weight (that's happening right now and I'll address it in my July 3rd blog post- no, not binge eating)

I urge you to check in with your accountability partner 3X a day or 4X if you snack. Read more about habit change in the "Better than Before" Book or listen to the podcast by Gretchen Ruben. Accountability is a huge topic. Outside of yourself, with a community or individual person.

There are thousands of long term weight maintainers- I'll be interviewed today by Heather Robinson- of Half Size Me for an update on the topic of long term maintenance. Heather has a strong, private community that is super low cost and has a strong & safe support system in maintenance. Many maintainers are inside the halls of OA or other programs. OA has a great podcast series of interviews you could download and listen and learn. Many of them are long term weight maintainers. The loss came after they gave up sugars and grains. A peek inside the previously anonymous .

I urge you to choose the food template and the support system that puts yourself and health first. Life will go on after July 31, 2015 and there's never a last shot until your soul leaves your body. Unlikely, since you are relatively young. Life quality will vary- make the choices that keep you well.

Remember Dr. Berkeley's suggestion, lose the weight, then try a medication. I swear, if I had two copies of the extra ghrelin gene (hunger hormone), I would be on that med right now. One copy and I can deal with eating urges with food, sleep, habit change and lifestyle. Which seems to change as I age.

Onward, always. It's not the last shot. It's another shot. You'll still have your food template, health, etc to deal with Aug 1, 2015.

Anonymous said...

i respect your decision, and understand it. i have been struggling with the commitment to weight loss my whole adult life.

recently i joined TOPS. the main draw for me is it is inexpensive (32 bux a year)....plus i heard about it b/c there was an online news story about it's effectiveness (#1 in fact).

good luck, and thanks for doing this as long as you have. i hope to see you longer, but want what is best for you.



Anonymous said...

I really feel for you and thank you for continuing to share your journey with us. When you posted about your metabolic test results (seems like a long time ago now), my heart sank for you, because weight loss with such a slow metabolism would be very difficult for anyone. Impossible? No. But still, the deficit you need to lose even 1 pound a week is depressing. Calories add up SO fast! One meal can erase an entire weeks worth of work. Did any of your doctors give you follow-up advice on what to do with your metabolic circumstance?

I'm glad you responded to the TSFL rep and mentioned the forums. I used to find such great support through the Medifast website for years and gave that company thousands of dollars. Then suddenly I could no longer log on with my username and password after a website update. I called the support line (polite, but said they couldn't help, suggested I try to e-mail the company) and sent several pleading e-mails (none of which were returned). That was my support system and I have yet to find a new "tribe" of supportive people. The FitBit forums aren't consistently active in regards to weight loss and the MFP forums can be a bit... tetchy. I miss the Medifast forums, but I refuse to give another dime or my time to that company ever again. I've thought about attending a TOPS meeting or OA, though I don't think I'm a good fit for OA. Anyway, this is my long winded way of saying that support is important, but finding the right type of support for you as an individual isn't easy.

I think you can definitely do this! You've done it before! With your metabolic profile, it might be slower than in the past, but it IS possible! Just remember, 1 pound a week adds up to 52 pounds in a year and even 1/2 pound a week will net you 26 pounds in a year. You can do this, just don't let yourself get discouraged with slow results. You'll have to be consistent and persistent, but you can do this! Wishing you the best!

Anonymous said...

I have lost 20 pounds since mid-february by healthy eating and exercise. I started at 231. My my fitness pal is around 1780 calories. Yours may be set too low. I even have bad days of over 3000 calories sometimes
No need to respond , just something to think about. By the way, this is the first time I've lost that much and kept it off.I would like to lose 30 more. Chris

Anonymous said...

I have to weigh in and reply to the comment about Heather Robertson. Heather has no training or credentials to treat binge eating disorder. I am sure she is a lovely person, but she advertises that she can help people with BED and is charging for it, which, in my opinion, should require some training. If you suffer from binge eating, see a professional or go to OA. Losing weight does not, on its own, qualify someone to be a counselor. Give recipes and advice? Sure! Claim to help with a mental illness such as BED? Not so much.

Signed,

Former Binge Eater.

Karen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.