Wednesday, March 25, 2015

I Had a Dream


Last night, I had a dream. It lasted most of the night and was very vivid. I think it was a fried-potatoes-induced dream; I felt so icky and gross yesterday and today, almost hung over. I rarely dream of food anymore, so this one was pretty unusual.

I dreamed of eating food... all kinds of junk. I was in a store, like a Costco type place and they were selling all kinds of candy and ice cream and cookies. I was eating it. I had a couple of huge scoops of ice cream on a cone and these flavors of ice cream had candy and cookies and stuff mixed in (ice cream with crunchy, textured "stuff" mixed in is another trigger food for me, just like fried potatoes). I was happily eating away. I came to a stand in the store where they were making special milkshakes. They were pancake-and-sausage milkshakes with maple syrup blended in. Of course in my dream, this sounded amazing and I ordered the biggest one they had. As they were putting ice cream, pancakes and sausage links into the blender to make my shake, I looked in my grocery cart and it was full of packages of fresh lobster, crab and shrimp. I was horrified! I am severely allergic to shellfish, and even handling a leaking package of that stuff could send me to the hospital. Eating it would kill me. I stared and thought, "WHO put this stuff in my cart??" and then I woke up.

I think my body and my subconscious are both trying to tell me the same thing. What do you think?

7 comments:

JM said...

seems pretty crystal clear.

Cyndi and Stumpy said...

I consider my eating habits and to be part of my overall self destructive nature/lack of self love and respect. After a really bad binge, I feel so crappy about myself I wish I were dead. I don't think of myself as suicidal. That's something different entirely. I love seafood and I'm not allergic so in my sick little mind it wouldn't be a bad way to go.

That milk shake sounds awesome. You ought to patent that.

Taryl said...

Add me to the severe shellfish allergy people! I think your dream was pretty obvious in symbolism, and that you're on the right track with your current set of changes.

Biz said...

Wow, that is a pretty crazy dream, but I agree in it's message!

Happy Friday my friend!!

Winner at a Losing Game said...

Hmm. I tend to think the psyche is telling you that you think food is the enemy. Maybe that is why Chloe was getting at. Food is not the enemy and needs to be normalized. Just my thoughts for what they are worth.

NewMe said...

I'm sorry you fired your ED counselor, but of course, it's your choice. You probably won't find any inspiration in this post either (http://www.fatnutritionist.com/index.php/for-the-rest-of-us/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+TheFatNutritionist+%28The+Fat+Nutritionist%29) but if you want, read it. It's interesting.

I also wonder whether you might not be interested in getting in touch with Lori, over at dropitandeat.blogspot.ca She also works with people who have EDs and she might even do it over Skype. She's also thin (I've met her in person), which seems to be something reassuring for you.

I wish you all the best.

Deb Willbefree said...

As I read thru these comments, I am struck by the diversity of opinions--some totally opposite of others.

The dream seemed so clear to me that I didn't bother to comment, knowing that everyone would have the same view.

Hah. Just goes to show yo what I know! :}

Personally, I think if eating seafood can kill you, it would be okay to consider it an enemy...or would it be more politically correct to consider it a life- threatening friend? chuckle.

Deb