Last night, I had a dream. It lasted most of the night and was very vivid. I think it was a fried-potatoes-induced dream; I felt so icky and gross yesterday and today, almost hung over. I rarely dream of food anymore, so this one was pretty unusual.
I dreamed of eating food... all kinds of junk. I was in a store, like a Costco type place and they were selling all kinds of candy and ice cream and cookies. I was eating it. I had a couple of huge scoops of ice cream on a cone and these flavors of ice cream had candy and cookies and stuff mixed in (ice cream with crunchy, textured "stuff" mixed in is another trigger food for me, just like fried potatoes). I was happily eating away. I came to a stand in the store where they were making special milkshakes. They were pancake-and-sausage milkshakes with maple syrup blended in. Of course in my dream, this sounded amazing and I ordered the biggest one they had. As they were putting ice cream, pancakes and sausage links into the blender to make my shake, I looked in my grocery cart and it was full of packages of fresh lobster, crab and shrimp. I was horrified! I am severely allergic to shellfish, and even handling a leaking package of that stuff could send me to the hospital. Eating it would kill me. I stared and thought, "WHO put this stuff in my cart??" and then I woke up.
I think my body and my subconscious are both trying to tell me the same thing. What do you think?
I am 38 years old, female, a degree-holding stay-at-home-mom, and I weigh 278 pounds. I have been obese for ten years now. Time to get out of this fat prison I have made for myself.
--This is the original introduction I wrote when I first started this blog in 2007. I leave it as a reminder to myself of where I came from. Currently, I am 46 years old and weigh significantly less...see the blog for details. I lost 103 pounds, then had a partial regain, and am once again working at weight loss and better health.
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