Thursday, January 1, 2015

January 1, 2015: 245 Pounds

State of the Body Address

Happy New Year! I decided to take a full and honest inventory of the state of my body on this day at this time, so that over the course of 2015 I can make comparative assessments of any progress or relapse. I think it is *essential* for my success that I record-keep and stay self-aware of how I am changing (or not) over time. Because time does fly... and I don't want to be at the end of yet another year feeling like I made no progress with my health. I intend to write these assessments of myself quarterly during 2015, with a final comparison assessment one year from now. I'll also commit to getting on the scale *at least* weekly regardless of what is going on with my eating (please feel free to remind me if I do not post a weight every week!)

Here is the state of my body as of today.

Weight: 245 pounds

Clothing sizes: I currently own two pairs of jeans that fit me. I use the word "fit" loosely because although it is possible to button these jeans when standing, it is super uncomfortable and tight and cuts into my guts. In general, I wear them unbuttoned and zipped down about an inch, and I wear a long sweater over my shirt so it hangs down and covers the fact that my pants are not buttoned. I literally cannot eat with them buttoned. The older pair is Lee Relaxed Fit Women's size 16 and I have worn holes in the thighs several times but sewn them closed. When I decided I was going to need more jeans, I went online and ordered 2 more pairs of the same jeans in this size (a few months ago, when they fit perfectly). When they arrived I realized mine had stretched out A LOT because the new ones did not even come close to buttoning, and when I held them up to the old ones they had a much smaller (less stretched out) waistband. The other pair I am wearing is Angels brand misses size 20. They fit the same as the older pair (uncomfortable to button). In tops I am wearing XXL Merona tees from Target, because I want them loose enough to hang away from my body and not accentuate the bulges. In pajamas (stretchy) I wear an XL.

Appearance: I feel I look bloated and large. My ankles are swollen and I have an extra chin again. My thighs look very large to me as does my belly (which is my largest body part, measuring 54" around). I think I look better when standing up because I have a defined waist, but when I sit on my bed and look in the full length mirror I look like a giant blob. You can see my most recent photos here: 68 Pounds Regained.

Health: I am currently on five prescription medications, including two for blood pressure. I am still getting a lot of 140/90 range readings but the doctor says that is "fine." I am not really comfortable with it. If I am late on a dose or get stressed, it goes up to 160's over high 90's (and then I take an extra half dose per my doctor). I get headaches about 4 days a week... often I wake up with them. I have acid reflux at night so I try not to eat anything after about 8pm, but then I still wake in the night with heartburn, sleep on 2 pillows, and take Tums every night. My sleep is poor as I wake every 2 to 3 hours. My face is once again red in the cheeks most of the time. While the plantar fasciitis is gone, my feet do get very sore by the end of the day. My arthritis is still there but is more painful than it was earlier this year. My hands ache as well as my knees.

Exercise: not much. I try to take a walk here and there (a mile) but have been highly unmotivated. It doesn't help that it has been super cold and my coat no longer is big enough to zip shut, so I have been freezing whenever I go out. I spent a month or so looking for a cheap coat at 2 different Goodwills and some discount stores and finally this week I got myself a warm coat for $30. By the way, it is a size 2XL and fits over multiple layers. Aside from the occasional walking, I have been to the gym maybe 3 times in the last 2 months. I have not been biking regularly this month.

Eating: I am not gluten free or sugar free or anything else free (aside from caffeine). I usually drink my coffee black but not always. I have not been counting or measuring, just trying to be moderate. I do not eat enough vegetables, fruit, or protein and too much of my intake is processed. I had cheese and crackers for breakfast yesterday morning. I do not binge, but I eat an extra portion of dinner often and I snack a lot.

General well being: my stamina is low. I get tired and worn out easily. I have very low energy. Moving is difficult; turning over in bed is a lot harder than I remember it being. I cannot cross my legs and it is a stretch to put my socks on. Getting up off the floor is awkward and requires a lot of effort. Doing housework and yardwork is something I have to do in increments because I get tired so fast. I find myself off balance often. But my mood is improving and I am starting to get back that base, underlying peace and happiness I was missing.

This week I am tracking exercise and weight. I am going back off gluten cold turkey and reducing my sugar intake by a LOT... meaning, no more cookies, candy, or other processed sugary stuff OR homemade sugary stuff. It is hard for me to "get off" sugar once I am used to eating it daily, but it is the one dietary change that has consistently brought me big, positive changes. I don't generally have any problem at all with a couple of fruit servings per day and a teaspoon of honey here and there in tea or on grapefruit. So that's my goal for this week: get off the sugar and gluten and regularly weigh and exercise. I hope we'll all make positive, healthy changes this year and end the year better off than we are now!


Anonymous said...

Hi Lyn:
Happy New Year. Best wishes with you plans for 2015.

Diana said...

Wow Lyn, I could have written exactly the same post. This is exactly how I feel. Exactly. For some inexplicable reason I'm finding this time around it's much more difficult to get on track. My feeble attempts this week have failed miserably. I know the key is off sugar and processed stuff. So much easier said than done. I hope we both get our act together because this is no way to live. ~Diana

Betsey C. said...

Dear sweet Lyn -- we are all in this together! As always, I applaud your honesty, and you can count me as one of your biggest fans.

I have a feeling we will both be feeling much better very soon.

Sending you cyber love from Chicago,

Anonymous said...

Lyn - great goals!!! There are so many benefits to giving up sugar and gluten (I'd even say grains). This is a GREAT place to start this week. Good for you, and congratulations!

I hope this "accounting" post is one you can look back on in the future, for a marker of just how far you've come.

Happy New Year!

David Dane said...

Lynn, get on the scale daily... . Skip breakfast for three hours... let your insulin levels wake up. The eat a little more protein than carbohydrates. Try to avoid sugar drinks like soda. For sure stay away from artificial sweeteners , try stevia. And dear, one year is too long to do a comparison. You want your results now to be progressive. One year is just to long.

Lyn said...

Thank you all! I feel really good about this whole thing.


I'll be weighing and blogging all along the way, and doing a reassessment ("State of the Body") quarterly. Hopefully this will help me see progress! Thanks :)

jirons42 said...

Lyn this post was such a good idea. I will write an assessment for myself. Good luck to both of us1

LPRT said...

Dear Lyn -

Thank you for writing my assessment for me. I too struggle, and am at exactly 145 today as well.

Wishing us all peace in our weight journey, let's not let it overshadow the joys in our lives.

Here's to lean in '15!

Winner at a Losing Game said...

As always, brutally honest. I really believe that you can make and sustain the changes you need to make for your health and overall spiritual well being.

Lori said...

The self assessment is a great idea. It is hard to remember from one month to the next sometimes how we change, much less from one quarter or year. I just might do this myself.

Fat Pants Be Gone said...

What a great way to keep track. Love your honesty.

PJ Geek said...

Cheap, big clothes that actually are comfortable and sometimes don't look so bad are at Walmart. The Just My size brand there is also online. It's better to at least have one good comfortable pair of jeans or pants because you won't beat up on your self so much if your pants always feel so tight. Some may say that having too tight pants will inspire you , but it may also really hurt your morale. As you lose and the pants become loose you can feel good about that. good luck

Lyn said...

PJ Geek~

definitely! I might make a trip to Walmart this week. I got some long johns from there last week because a friend told me she got some because she walks in the cold. I don't know why I never thought of doing that. They were only $8.

Anonymous said...

Lyn - I've been walking in the cold lately too, and I actually really like it! It's soooo much better than walking in the outrageous heat of the summer, LOL. I got some new long johns at T@rget for this, and just also got some finger-touch gloves so I can work my podcast player with gloves on. That and a hat, and I am good to go. Lesson learned while living in Canada- if you're cold, you just need more gear :) Daylight hours are often my only limiting factor. Enjoy!
~ Wendy

CatherineMarie said...

Lyn, I have a suggestion. take advantage of the sales and find yourself some cute clothes that fit you NOW. It is a self-image booster to have something pretty/cute to wear. Also, reward yourself with something new every time you go down a size. Having something new, that fits, that looks nice, is SUCH an image booster.