This week has been a tough one for me. Over the past couple of months I have been on and off AIP more times than I can count... which doesn't do anything for the elimination diet part of the equation. I'd need to be solid with the elimination part for a month (again) before I could start reintroducing things again properly (all I've reintroduced successfully so far is cocoa, nutmeg, and cumin.) I do see health benefits from AIP though, even when I am not perfect at it. It's a very natural, healthy, whole foods, anti-inflammatory diet, so I do get some benefits from eating this way for 3 days or a week, or even from eating 1 or 2 meals a day from the AIP template. I just can't get the elimination part going until I do another long stretch without things that are supposed to be removed for 30+ days.
Since I got better from my sinus infection it's been like that: several days perfect, then a few days not. In all honestly I find it hard to stick to a restrictive plan when I am feeling down and struggling with other things. I'm not bingeing, no. I'm not going back to that. But this week has been the worst... letting coffee back in on a regular basis, having some au gratin potatoes with dinner, justifying eating butternut squash flat bread with roasted tomatoes and caramelized sweet onions because it was gluten free. My line in the sand has been gluten, but then when someone offers me a gluten free brownie, I take it. And I don't exactly feel bad about it, either. This week I've eaten soups with beans, pork sirloin roast with roasted sweet potatoes, rotisserie chicken and steamed peas, lots and lots of warm decaf tea with coconut milk and honey, and a piece of gluten free cheesecake with a walnut crust. All of this food was delicious, but at the end of the day some of this stuff is steering me away from my goal (AIP for health). I am being weak and giving in a lot, mainly because I just don't feel motivated and certainly don't feel strong anymore. I also have not been exercising much at all. If I had to guess I'd say I'm maintaining or maybe up 5 pounds but my clothes all fit the same as they did two months ago. I am ambivalent about the scale... or maybe I just don't need one more thing to push me into feeling worse.
The reason I'm writing today, when I don't especially feel like it, is because I want to commit to myself, and put it out there for you as well, that I will do better this week. Not great, maybe, but better. Even just a little bit better. Because week by week I see myself doing a little worse. And I may not be making any progress with health or weight at the moment but I want to turn the downward descent around before winter comes and makes it even harder. So my goal for this week is to do better. Get *some* exercise. Reduce my sugar intake. Lay off the coffee. Try to eat a little more veggies. Just turn it around, so it's a little better next week rather than a little worse. I also committed to myself that I'll get on the scale November 1 even though I don't want to. Enough with the head in the sand thinking... I need to know for sure where I am with my weight.
Thanks for listening and for sticking around for this part of the journey.
Friday Update and Reality Check
5 hours ago