As my blog has evolved over time, so have the comments I receive here and the way I handle publishing them. For years, it was an open commenting free-for-all, but when I was getting dozens of comments per post, sometimes there would be inflammatory stuff published before I had a chance to see it: personal attacks on me or on another commenter, seriously offensive profanity, links to inappropriate websites, etc. So at that time, I started to moderate comments. I wrote my "comment policy" and did not allow comments that were attacking or used profanity. Pretty much everything else got published.
A couple years ago, I started getting a lot of personal attack type comments, but they were usually anonymous. It became tiring so after awhile I disabled anonymous comments; most of the nastiness then stopped. But some readers contacted me by email and let me know they were either unable or unwilling to comment without the anonymous option, so this year I brought it back.
I don't get nearly the number of comments I did years ago. I think blogging in general is kind of on the way out from what I have seen, and people move on, and my struggles over the past couple of years have not been inspiring to everyone. That's okay, I get it. I've gone from blogging every day (and sometimes twice a day) to posting only 8 times last month. I have posted less times in this entire year than I did in 3 months in 2010. It's the evolution of the blog, and of my story. But I do still get a few comments here and there, and most of them are supportive, kind, and well-meaning. I appreciate every one of them.
However, there are some comments I don't publish. They come in waves and usually from the same few people, often posting anonymously, using profanity and calling me names. I delete them, let it go, it's their issue. But when people say bad things regarding my children, I take that very personally and seriously. It's not okay. I won't tolerate it and I certainly won't publish it. I am not sure what drives people to be cruel or want to hurt people they don't even know.
The other day I posted that I have been sad. That I have been struggling with feelings of depression... Seasonal Affective Disorder. I mentioned how hard it has been for me this year without my best friend who passed away one year ago this month. I shared that I am in emotional pain. And in response I got several comments, all from the same person, stating false, derogatory, hateful things about my best friend and our relationship.
I am sorry but that is over the line. That is downright abusive. I am in counseling to deal with my grief and my sadness and I have shared that here. If you know someone is vulnerable and hurting and saying "this hurts, I am sad" and you say things to hurt them *more*, there is something truly wrong. Not with me. With you.
I am considering shutting down the comments on this blog completely, and I want you to know why I am doing it if that happens. Another option is to only allow comments on certain posts. I'm not sure what I am doing yet. But you know what? I am hurting and I am tired.
I thank those who still find it in their hearts to be supportive and kind even when my journey is not as inspiring, fast, or perfect as it could be. I am doing my best. That's all I can do. Thank you for coming along on this long, winding journey of mine and thank you for caring.
I am 38 years old, female, a degree-holding stay-at-home-mom, and I weigh 278 pounds. I have been obese for ten years now. Time to get out of this fat prison I have made for myself.
--This is the original introduction I wrote when I first started this blog in 2007. I leave it as a reminder to myself of where I came from. Currently, I am 46 years old and weigh significantly less...see the blog for details. I lost 103 pounds, then had a partial regain, and am once again working at weight loss and better health.
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