Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Chocolate Cake for Dinner? Yep.

I had a rough couple of days this week. Just circumstances, stuff I have to deal with, emotionally draining but, you know, it's life. After two particularly harrowing days (during which I stayed 100% AIP as usual), I was really drained. There were a couple of times that I truly thought about how nice it would be to make a run for some crunchy cookies, or some other dessert. After all, I used to cope every.single.day with stress by eating junk food! It's something I've avoided lately. But boy, some days a girl just needs her chocolate! Which is doable for me, since I've reintroduced cocoa on the AIP. So today, I just decided, you know, to have chocolate cake for dinner.

Chocolate cake!

Yep, there is an AIP recipe for a "chocolate cake" made with carob (which some people allow on AIP, but I didn't use) so I just subbed cocoa equally and prayed that somehow, putting 2 green plantains, a banana, some canned pumpkin, cocoa, maple syrup and coconut oil in a blender (with no eggs and no flours of any kind) would magically turn into cake. I had my doubts... but...

Dinner!

AIP autoimmune Paleo "chocolate" cake

Yeah. It was amazing. I made the frosting by whisking together coconut cream, cocoa, and honey with a dash of vanilla.

I thought it tasted just like a bakery cake. My son came into the kitchen for a bite as I was telling him how great it was. He took a bite and looked at me and said, "wow, you are really used to eating bland, boring stuff." LOL! He is right! My taste buds have changed from 90% of my intake being meat, fish, vegetables, and fruit. He said it was not very sweet, and not all that chocolatey, and overall kind of bland. But to me it was the best cake ever. Good enough, I don't want to go back to the old, processed stuff anyway.

Not going to make a habit of eating cake for dinner, but tonight, it really filled the need. I'll freeze some slices (unfrosted) so I can bring them out when the PMS strikes. I am feeling great!

*Edited to add nutrition facts:

Cut your cake into 9 squares and here are the stats, without frosting:
150 calories
8.5 g fat
21 g carbs
2.5 g fiber
1 g protein
(and notably, 38% of your RDA of Vitamin A for the day!)


26 comments:

Michele said...

So, you're still soothing yourself with food.

CARLA said...

you have me thinking I should surprise the child with that for dinner tonight too ;)

Lyn said...

Michelle~

sometimes, yes.

Carla~

LOL, I would be very interested in how she reacts if you make THIS cake!

Deb Willbefree said...

You may want to look into chocolate flavored protein powder (like whey isolate) to add to your cake recipe. Dinner cake should include protein...or it's just dessert.

Gwen said...

I'm gonna have to stop reading your blog. You are still mired in unhealthy mindsets about food. I don't care how 'healthy' the food might be...you are (like Michele said) still self-soothing with food...chocolate no less. If you don't think cocoa and honey don't set off brain-chemistry changing cravings, you are only fooling yourself. You still focus 100% on foods...and treats. You couldn't run fast enough back to any kind of 'healthy' chocolate. I can't keep reading this stuff. I feel bad for you. You are on a slippery slope. I wish you well, but I suspect this will all fall apart soon. :( Good luck.

Lyn said...

Deb~

I may do that when I reintroduce dairy, if that goes well. Thanks for the good idea!

FogDog said...

I'm glad to see a few others are giving you honest feedback. All too often you see blogs filled with nothing but "happy" comments. So I'll say good for you for at least trying to make the cake healthier, but I have to admit the post sounds like you are still struggling with the mental aspects. As Gwen said, it puts you on a slippery slope. I wish you the best of luck!
-FogDog

w0rld4vamps said...

I want to apologize for the people who are being so very judgemental in these comments. Although anyone has the right to think differently than having chocolate cake for dinner for themselves, I don't believe it gives them the right to be so rude to you.

I'm sorry.

-w0rld

Lyn said...

Thanks FogDog. My goal here is mainly to stick to AIP 100% to improve my health, and also to continue in a way that is sustainable for me. Having a "treat food" a couple times a month is doable for me, and since I want to do so without going off plan, this is how I made it work. I admit it is hard to break that old, old habit that I have had for 45 years of soothing with food, and I don't think soothing with food is always a bad thing. If a cup of hot tea makes me feel comforted, I am okay with that. If an occasional piece of on-plan chocolate cake helps me not feel frazzled, I am okay with that too.

Lyn said...

w0rld~

thanks, I appreciate your support. We all have to do what we believe is best for us. And kindness is always a good thing :)

Anonymous said...

Hi Lyn.
I just want to say that I also find the other comments to be very jugdemental. This is supposedly a lifestyle change and then you shouldn't aim for perfect in all things only those you have jugded to be important.
Anne

swimmermom said...

Re "couldn't run fast enough back to any kind of 'healthy' chocolate" -- CHOCOLATE IS HEALTHY. It offers more polyphenols and flavonoids than many other 'good' foods and is good for cardiovascular health. True, many people are so accustomed to eating it heavily sugared that it has become a trigger food for them and they are not able to consume it in a healthy way.

It sounds as if Lyn's palate has changed to where she can appreciate and yes, ENJOY chocolate with minimal sweetness. Her 'cake' is a mixture of good-for-you, whole foods ingredients. Good for her for putting together a dish that supported her health and also gave her a sense of taking care of herself emotionally when she needed it.

Lori said...

It looks yummy to me.

I'm not sure about the issues others are having with using food for comfort. You recognize what is happening, and it isn't like you're trying to binge yourself in to a food coma. Life is about balance and moderation. If cake, especially on plan healthy cake, is what you want sometimes, then have it.

The 'all or nothing' mindset often gets me in to trouble and I suspect I am not alone in that.
Lori

PaulaMP said...

You are truly deluding yourself if you think cake for dinner is a good thing, no matter how "healthy". So now sugar doesn't bother you?

Lyn said...

Paula~

I'm sure overindulgence in sugar would cause me to have joint pain, as it always has. I have not had any joint pain as a result of anything I have eaten on AIP.

Betsey C. said...

OMG, Gwen, don't let the door hit you. When you start living an absolutely perfect life please come back and show us how it's done.

In the meantime I will read every post that Lyn writes as I have done for several years. I will cheer her successes and commiserate with her struggles. I will applaud her honesty and will see myself in her writings.

Lyn, I would have given anything to have seen the look on your boy's face when he tasted your cake. Lol!

Rachel said...

I hope you don't write off some of these comments as being from "judgmental haters" as some of the other commenters have. Lyn, I've been reading your blog since 2009. I remember you doing a monthly calorie bank, weekly challenges, Medifast, and everything in between. I don't know you, of course, but I do feel like I am coming from a place of genuine concern when I say that it makes me really sad and worried for you that you are continuing to justify (with the help of other commenters!) your disordered food patterns. You are certainly smart enough to know the difference (for you, based on your history) between having a cup of hot tea for comfort, and eating chocolate cake for dinner when you are emotionally drained and wishing you could cope with junk food. I had so much hope for you when you first wrote about turning your lifestyle around with the AIP stuff. I know it's a process, and any process involves bumps in the road, but from what I've been reading it just seems like more of the same, with different foods. I hope you one day truly pursue counseling/therapy. And please know this is not coming from a place of judgment or hate, just concern.

Lyn said...

Rachel~

I read and consider every comment, and appreciate you sharing your thoughts in a respectful manner.

I know I will never have the "perfect" diet/way of eating, because there is no such thing. A long time ago I wrote about how if I tried to follow everyone's advice, I'd go nuts. Over the years, everything I have done has been criticized by someone. I understand that we are all different and what works for one may be a disaster for another. My goal at this point is simple: to follow the autoimmune protocol and improve my health. That has been happening, and I am very happy with how much better I feel so far. I think people are focused on "OMG cake!" instead of realizing that for a month and a half now, I have eaten good quality meats, fish, vegetables, fruits, and healthy fats almost exclusively. I have never been successful at doing that before. If I make an AIP-compliant "dessert" or "snack" once in a while, I do not see the harm in that. My eating is healthier than it has *ever* been in my life, and for a longer period, and I am finding it enjoyable and more importantly, sustainable. That makes me very happy! And yes, as I've said, I am seeing a counselor.

Rachel said...

Glad you replied, Lyn. I just hope you consider the truth in the constructively critical or even seemingly negative comments as much as you do the pat-on-the-back ones. And good for you for continuing to see the counselor- I thought you had stopped, for some reason. I know from experience how hard it is to break the patterns formed by years of disordered and compulsive eating. I hope you are able to work on those patterns alongside the focus on AIP and health.

LHA said...

Wow. Some of these comments are really intense. Lyn, I have no idea if your "cake" will cause you problems down the line, but I would be willing to bet that something you reintroduce will. Isn't that the point of this type of elimination diet....to add back in foods one at a time and see which ones you tolerate and which will have to be permanently eliminated? I understand the genuine concern expressed by some here, but unless you plan to stick to your very restricted eating plan for the rest of your life you have to take the risk of adding things in and seeing what you can tolerate. To me, the bigger risk would be to think (unrealistically) that you were never going to eat anything other that the few foods you now know you can tolerate. That would really be asking for disaster when the dam finally broke and you went on an eating binge.

I don't even begin to know the answers to the questions posed and the fears expressed, but I do think you are going to have to follow through on your plan to reintroduce foods one at a time and see where that leads you. Good luck, and I also thank all the commenters for passing on their points of view.

Lissa said...

Hi Lyn,

I ran across your blog a few years ago and scrolled through the archives to read every one of your posts. I've always enjoyed your unbelievably brave honesty and persistence and, though I don't usually comment, I've cheered you through this whole journey.

You received some really harsh comments earlier. Those were not nice and I don't think they were helpful. But I understand some of the feeling behind them.

I think of it this way: You talk a lot about your addiction to food as just that - an addiction. You've also told us how you come from a long history of boozers.

When we see a post like this - showing how you used (healthy) dessert food as a stress reliever - for some of us, the post makes us scared that you've "fallen off the wagon."

Did you ever read "Drinking: A Love Story" by Caroline Knapp? She describes VIVIDLY what it's like to be an alcoholic and what it's like to try and quit. At one point she quotes a friend from AA ranting about how it makes her SO MAD that she can't just have a glass of wine; or another person being SO ANGRY that EVERYONE out there is out drinking on a Friday night and he can't. That seems to line up perfectly with some of your venting posts - WHY can't I eat salami and white bread? There is no WAY I can agree not to eat hot dogs for the rest of my life! - etc.

I've also thought of that comparison when you had off-plan episodes and debated whether it counted as a binge. After all, that amount of food eaten by a normal person would be considered, well, normal - so what if it's hot dogs? Well, a normal person can have a glass of wine with no problem, but if someone who has 100 or 50 or 10 days of sobriety under his or her belt picks up the glass, it's very different.

Does that make sense? I really, truly, absolutely, totally hope that this new AIP lifestyle will enable you to lead a happy healthy productive life!! I was so thrilled to read that you were eating fruits and veg and losing weight and not being miserable.

And then we see a picture of cake-for-dinner. And for some of us - especially those who have experience with addiction, most commonly alcohol - it makes us afraid that you've fallen off the wagon.

Mind you, I don't think it excuses the intense and hurtful comments, which are NOT HELPFUL.

Lyn said...

Lissa~

What a thoughtful comment, thank you. That book sounds very insightful and I am going to see if I can find it to read. I do think alcoholism and food addiction are very similar, especially with the emotions tied to both.

I can never say I am out of the woods with my binge issue. I think there is a risk of relapse and always will be. I still have thoughts of wishing I could eat bags of chips and a whole pizza, and I even feel frustrated sometimes that my stomach won't let me eat as much as I used to. I think any day, I could 'snap' and run for the junk food. I think about that. It scares me a bit.

I am working through all of this on a daily basis. Part of what I have had to accept is that there *are* foods I cannot eat without bad consequences. I've ruled out almost all processed foods, and gluten, and many other things. I know if I were to go eat a Snickers bar or a piece of actual, sugary gluteny cake, I'd be off the rails. I also know that I am slowly accepting more lifetime changes, but I also cannot say at this point that I will never have a piece of chocolate cake or a cookie again in my life. So I make the best substitute I can and am careful about how sweet/sugary anything is and keep it gluten free.

Could I go bonkers and binge because I ate that piece of "fake cake"? Yes, I could. But I think I would be a lot more likely to binge if I tried to ignore and stuff down all my desires for ANY treat foods, and started feeling deprived and angry about the restriction. So, if I ate a bowl of squash and chicken for a snack and a piece of "cake" for dinner, and then continue on eating all if the produce and meats I've been enjoying for 6 weeks, then I feel that is a success. I only hope this continues to work so well for me.

Your concerns are totally valid though. As I said, always a risk of relapse. But today, I am not relapsing. I am eating well. :)

L.L. M. said...

Is that 150 calories per slice, or 150 calories total? I looked at the original recipe but it doesn't say.

I'm very curious about avocado in frosting and might have to try it!

Lyn said...

L.L.M.~

That is 150 calories per piece of cake (1/9 of the recipe) with no frosting. I didn't try the avocado frosting but it does look good, doesn't it? I just made a small amount of frosting for one piece of cake.

Kyarra Keele said...

I like what you made the frosting out of! I'll have to give it a try since I prefer to make frosting homemade (:

Steelers6 said...

I am just so excited with you that you are feeling better & improving all the time.
You have been waiting/working toward answers & results for a very long time.
Also, it's very generous of you to share your recipes on your blog at the risk of criticism or people leaving your blog.
Chrissy