I still have a lot going on over here, but I am not using food to cope with it. It's hard. I am feeling the feelings instead, which can be really overwhelming sometimes. Truly. But then, since I am not shoving the feelings down with potato chips, I pull out of the stress and I take action. Because if you're not dealing with it by eating, or checking out on the Internet, or whatever other coping mechanism you have, and you stand there feeling it and having tears welling up in your eyes and muttering things to yourself, you can either break down and sob for awhile (which is okay) or wipe the tears off your face and use the stress to propel yourself into doing SOMETHING. Which is what I have been doing. I mean, when I have a problem that needs to be addressed, there is no way that I can just plop down on the couch and forget about it... at least not without the assistance of some yummy junk food. If I can't distract and soothe with food then I have to feel it, which I find is *very* uncomfortable unless accompanied by action that will help relieve the stress. I hope that makes sense. Basically it means that if your kids says to you "Mom, the cat is chewing her leg off" and the cat is hiding in the storage closet, you can flip out, get overwhelmed, eat a container of chocolate covered nuts and THEN deal with it, or you can feel those feelings of worry, mutter to yourself a bit, take a deep breath and start moving everything out of the storage closet to find the cat. And what I have found is that I am capable of dealing with issues even without having a big snack first. Who knew? And yes, the cat is fine, some children exaggerate, she has an injury we've been dealing with and she was licking it raw which, apparently, looks like chewing one's leg off to some people. I wrapped her leg and she will be fine. So will I.
I am 38 years old, female, a degree-holding stay-at-home-mom, and I weigh 278 pounds. I have been obese for ten years now. Time to get out of this fat prison I have made for myself.
--This is the original introduction I wrote when I first started this blog in 2007. I leave it as a reminder to myself of where I came from. Currently, I am 46 years old and weigh significantly less...see the blog for details. I lost 103 pounds, then had a partial regain, and am once again working at weight loss and better health.
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