Sunday, March 23, 2014

Changes

I finally think I am starting to snap out of it. It's been tough to get back out of the habit of eating sugar and/or salty snacks as a coping mechanism, but I am having some success. We have a lot of medical drama going on and I think I need to use cleaning, working, and organizing as my distractions if and when I need to 'check out' from reality and emotion for awhile. There really is something therapeutic about yard work, mopping, and sorting. It's just a matter of habit to reach for, say, a dust cloth or a toilet brush, or a box of paperwork, rather than reaching for cookies or chips. So that's my current method.

I can't believe I haven't weighed in 2 weeks. My goal, as it has been all of this year, is to post a weight LOSS each month in 2014. Small goal but so far so good. I weighed 228 on March 1 and 226 two weeks ago. I'll be weighing on April 1 and hoping to see a loss for the month. I think that will happen if I don't keep eating ice cream and pizza.

Maybe this is a lot of change at once, but I think I need to make some bigger changes. I've also been using things like diet sodas, Atkins "candy bars" that are low carb and high protein, sugar free flavored coffee creamers, sugar free Jello cups, and the like as crutches. Sometimes I get through the day on caffeine free diet sodas rather than eating more when my mouth wants something. I feel worse for it; I know the artificial sweeteners aren't helping matters, really, and these sweet things are just letting me keep up the bad habit of using food/drink to cope. I am just about out of sodas, jello, creamers and Atkins treats and I decided not to buy anymore once they are gone. Part of me fights mentally to justify eating or drinking these things because they are low calorie or low carb, but in my heart I know these things are not consistent with my goals. It is harder for me to stay within my calorie level without them, but I think it is time to knock it off and do something non-food-related (like cleaning or taking a walk) instead of putting yet another thing into my mouth.

I am trying to be strong. I know giving in to food/drink is my weakness. I have gotten out of the giving-in mindset before and I will do it again.


8 comments:

LuckyMama said...

You can do it!

Progress, not perfection.

I used to use a lot of sugar-free, processed foods, but I stopped - don't even keep them in the house now. Makes it easier to deal with because if I want to eat just to eat, I have to cook it, not just open a package.

Melodee said...

I know how you feel . . . it's hard not to depend on those crutches, even when they are "diet" sodas and "sugar-free" things. Hang in there!

Michelle Himes said...

Maybe give up just one of your sugar free, fat free "crutches" at a time. Baby steps.

Mary McNamara said...

Lyn,

I agree with Lucky Mama - progress not perfection. I have a saying hanging on my fridge
" You were born to be real, not to be perfect "
I know it's hard, but try to be gentle with yourself.
Take care,
Mary

16 blessings'mom said...

Ten of my kids still live at home. I have changed my eating habits drastically, no more breads or pastas for me, no sugar (well I TRY!), or baked goods. I don't force my lifestyle on the kids, but do provide lots of good healthy alternatives. The older ones really eat well, the younger ones are following more and more, but there are still brownies being baked, and birthday cakes, and oh they love their ice cream....each and every day is an exercise in discipline, and for me, having some of the sugar-free options is crucial. I am just not that strong, so when I really need something, 10 calorie Jello will suffice. There are also some really good 15 calorie Popsicles. As for dark chocolate, I have learned not to crack into a bar of that unless lots of kids are around to help me eat it...:) Anyway, you have to do what you can to manage, do what you can sustain. I know what you mean though, it would be nice to be free from using food as a comfort. Keep on! And thank you for sharing!
Della

Raina Singh said...

I like Michelle Himes's suggestion - maybe giving up one of your 'crutches' at a time is a more achievable goal for you than giving it all up. I suspect that all of those still provoke some sort of insulin response and probably isn't helping. Also, I'll just alert you to Dianne Sanfilippo's 21 Day Sugar Day Detox program, designed entirely around cravings for sugar. I've bought it, haven't gone on it yet, but have been implementing some strategies (when you sell cakes as a business I can't exactly rule out all sugar O_O)

Sending you love, and strength, my beautiful friend xxx

MargieAnne said...

Hi Lyn.

I have been looking for this particular podcast I found on The Smarter Science of Slim. I think you might find some comfort and hope by listening. http://thesmarterscienceofslim.com/depression/

I hope you can find it You might also be able to find it by searching youtube with this heading - Depressed Seriously Emotional Eating. Carrie Brown's addiction is different to ours but she still as some issues with sugar and starches.

For a long time I thought God would do all the healing, especially emotional and spiritual. What I have found is that there are physical aspects I must take responsibilty for. I'm finding some help through understanding good nutrition through the low carb an paleo/primal groups.

Thinking about you as you continue to go through tough times with your children's health issues. This is extremely difficult for you.

Blessings

Lyn said...

Thank you so much all! I so appreciate the thoughts and kindness here. I take all your suggestions seriously and look into them so I thank you for that. I have gotten myself together and am back off the sugar and junk. Slow progress!