I finally think I am starting to snap out of it. It's been tough to get back out of the habit of eating sugar and/or salty snacks as a coping mechanism, but I am having some success. We have a lot of medical drama going on and I think I need to use cleaning, working, and organizing as my distractions if and when I need to 'check out' from reality and emotion for awhile. There really is something therapeutic about yard work, mopping, and sorting. It's just a matter of habit to reach for, say, a dust cloth or a toilet brush, or a box of paperwork, rather than reaching for cookies or chips. So that's my current method.
I can't believe I haven't weighed in 2 weeks. My goal, as it has been all of this year, is to post a weight LOSS each month in 2014. Small goal but so far so good. I weighed 228 on March 1 and 226 two weeks ago. I'll be weighing on April 1 and hoping to see a loss for the month. I think that will happen if I don't keep eating ice cream and pizza.
Maybe this is a lot of change at once, but I think I need to make some bigger changes. I've also been using things like diet sodas, Atkins "candy bars" that are low carb and high protein, sugar free flavored coffee creamers, sugar free Jello cups, and the like as crutches. Sometimes I get through the day on caffeine free diet sodas rather than eating more when my mouth wants something. I feel worse for it; I know the artificial sweeteners aren't helping matters, really, and these sweet things are just letting me keep up the bad habit of using food/drink to cope. I am just about out of sodas, jello, creamers and Atkins treats and I decided not to buy anymore once they are gone. Part of me fights mentally to justify eating or drinking these things because they are low calorie or low carb, but in my heart I know these things are not consistent with my goals. It is harder for me to stay within my calorie level without them, but I think it is time to knock it off and do something non-food-related (like cleaning or taking a walk) instead of putting yet another thing into my mouth.
I am trying to be strong. I know giving in to food/drink is my weakness. I have gotten out of the giving-in mindset before and I will do it again.
Monday Babble and Dhammapada
6 hours ago