Saturday, December 14, 2013

Making a Weight Loss Goal When You Aren't Really Motivated

...aka, fake it til you make it.

I think there are a lot of people out there like me. Fat, sick of it, but not really motivated to change much. Sometimes, people just get tired of the whole diet scene and burned out on weight loss efforts, blogging, counting calories, weighing everything they eat, eliminating whole food categories, etc. It's hard, and I think the older you get the harder it becomes. When I was in my 20's, changing my eating habits wasn't so bad. My first husband had celiac disease, so mid-marriage we had to switch everything we were eating and I had to learn to cook with potato starch, rice flour and xanthan gum. And I did it in a remote location, at a time when hardly anybody had Internet (not even the local libraries, if you young'uns can fathom it). There was no support, there were no stores with gluten-free bread or baking mixes, and if I wanted to know how to make something my husband could eat, I opened the one gluten-free cookbook I had and followed the recipe in there. And you know, it wasn't so bad. It wasn't terrible and I don't even remember being remotely phased by it. Sure, I still ate some gluten myself, but most of my cooking changed... a lot. I was flexible. It was easy to make changes. Now? Not so much. I am far more set in my ways (tastes) and have a lot less energy and interest in figuring out a whole new way to eat. And I think that's why a lot of people stay fat. You might want to change, but not CHANGE. Not like that. And sometimes, unless there is some crisis looming because of your weight (like diabetes or sleep apnea or whatever) or some big emotional turning point (like not being able to do something important with your family because of your size), the weight seems more like an annoyance and an inconvenience than an urgent situation that needs to be changed. Sometimes the dietary changes are more of an annoyance and an inconvenience than being fat.

But you know, once you get going and lose some weight, you start to feel better and move more freely and have a better attitude. You get ten or twenty pounds down the road and realize how much better life is and that carries you forward to more weight loss and hopefully better health. But getting started is THE hardest thing. It's something a lot of people are going to be thinking about in a couple of weeks, with the new year and resolutions and all of that. Me? Nah, I am pretty much over the whole new years resolution thing. I sit here and think about weight loss and part of me is angry that just a couple months ago, before my injury, I was SO CLOSE to being back under 200. I got to 208 and now after a month on crutches and a whole lot of physical therapy to be able to walk again, I am 18 pounds heavier than I was pre-injury. I wonder where I'd be right now had I not fallen. I was on a roll, I was doing so well, and then this injury took me out. It makes me mad that now instead of being 8 pounds away from 200, I am 26 pounds away. Makes me want to throw my hands up and give up. Almost.

And then another part of me, as I said in another post, sees the light and wants to keep on working at this. I did not come this far and keep so much weight off for this long to gain it back. But how to you do it when you SO lack motivation?? My answer is, fake it til you make it. Right now I do not feel like making a weight goal, or getting on a scale regularly, or messing with my food intake. But I am going to do it anyway. The alternative is too scary. So here it is.

I will be getting back on the scale every Sunday for weigh ins, to keep myself accountable.
My goal is to get back to 175 pounds in 2014.
I think if I can get the ball rolling with weight loss, I might even make it to 175 by my birthday in July. A pound and a half a week, maybe a little more, and I'd be there.
I don't know if it's possible, but that's my goal, and at least it's a start.


Deniz said...

Hon, you'll make it!
Hugs from the UK.

lisa~sunshine said...

I think your ending goal is a good one although allowing the scale to determine you can set you up for failure.. The scale is something you can't control.. But I do think you need to plan out or map HOW you will get to this goal.. What are your small goals.. what steps are you going to take to get you to this ending and by July.. You must believe in what you are setting out to do? Have faith you can make it.. I guess I'm wondering why you set a goal and a time line with needing to lose 1.5 pounds per week when you know that things weren't coming off like that just a few months ago when you were attempting to lose.. Why not set things that are in your control... you can count calories.. you can aim for 4 days or 3 days of counting calories.. Maybe.. you aim for 1 day of counting for week 1.. and 2 days of counting for week 2.. and 3 for 3 and so forth to get you back at counting and logging.. and think of how you will feel at the end of week 1.. knowing you HIT your goal.. This is a goal you have the ability to hit.. the same with tracking.. the same with eating 2 servings of healthy fats.. and how ever many servings of veggies, fruit.. lean meats.. or if you don't want to track calories.. maybe track just portions of foods but set it up for success.. and maybe have a goal of eating more whole foods.. tracking your emotions.. tracking your portions.. and set a goal for FEELING healthier by your birthday.. not a weigh goal.. Just a idea.. I know you can do this.. we all can.. and if you don't want to post this I understand.. my best interest is with you..

Vickie said...

Yes, goal weights can be helpful

But the most important thing is the daily habits

What you do EVERY DAY is what gets you there and then keeps you there.

Lyn said...


thank you :)


I think you're right. Those are some good ideas about the small goals of counting calories a few days at a time. That sounds (almost) doable to me right now. My mindset is so unmotivated, I am just trying to rev up some kind of energy/motivation to do *something*... and the ultimate thing I really want is to get back to 175 pounds even if that's where I stay forever. I need a goal that I really WANT badly enough. Good health, yes. And getting off these blood pressure meds. And a goal weight... but yes, I think smaller steps like you suggested are a good idea. Thanks.


yes, true, I am hoping that I can get myself into a daily routine that will get me to my goal. Hoping if I even change one thing a month it will have a good cumulative effect.

MargieAnne said...

"Fat, sick of it, but not really motivated to change much. Sometimes, people just get tired of the whole diet scene and burned out on weight loss efforts, blogging, counting calories, weighing everything they eat, eliminating whole food categories, etc. It's hard, and I think the older you get the harder it becomes."

You can say that again.

I never thought I would be in this place when I lost weight so easily in the first half of 2012 simply by eliminating wheat.

I am getting tired of experimenting and tweaking and going up and down on the same 5-6 pounds.

I can feel my health sliding backwards. Something is nt working .... but what?

The main goal remains but I am tired of this thing. I can focus for short periods, sometimes even a whole week but..... it's what happens in between that has me worried.

You do still have an age advantage on me. Make the most of it. So happy to hear you beginning to make short term goals once more.

I may have missed something but why not go for some upper body weight lifting? I believe that doing HIT even if only upper body should help burn fat.

I am beginning to think I must become willing to do something similar to HIT High Intensity Training.


lisa~sunshine said...

Yes Lynn... I think small goals and working on your self efficacy are top.. I think we get beaten down so much because we set up these expectations that are so high.. Instead setting up small goals.. like I said and aiming towards the big one.. maybe your birthday goal is to complete some dog sporting event.. or some fun thing with your daughter.. Like walking to the park without pain.. I think building up your self efficacy and knowing you can pick a goal and NAIL IT.. will improve your WANT and motivation to do this.. it's so hard to be motivated when you don't feel like you will succeed.. so picking things that are SO SIMPLE it's almost dumb.. will help you in the beginning.. You could start this NOW.. Track 1 day this coming week.. post your weight(if you want and decide to do this still) and your success on Sunday to us all.. And then again 2 times next week.. these small goals are doable even during the holidays.. This will put you at a good place in two more weeks.. with a feeling of success.. and I'm not even saying to hit a deficit during the holidays.. but to track.. or log.. and then know that was the goal.. and it was a success and that on that week you HIT your goal.. and that is what will get you to hit all the other goals you make..
Another thing is to find the support.. I belong to Half Size me which is Run by Heather and yes it started out as her going to weight watchers.. but I don't.. and others there are running there own plans but it is still support.. In fact she just did a podcast interview with me this past week and it's free to listen to if you desire.. and she has a lot of other free podcasts of people who have been successful and it's motivating to listen to them...
Another option is to get a fitbit... or some other type of device that will show you WHAT you are burning.. and it will be motivating to try to increase the number.. and it will be comforting to know what you are burning.. and what you are eating.. and it will raise your self efficacy to know that you are doing what it takes..
Of coarse all this is just my opinions.. I wish you the best of luck.. I've been around and read your blog for a few years now.. I was there when you hit your lowest weight and did that time capsule.. I miss that positive happy.. Lyn.. You can get there again.. I have faith in you and you need to too..

Lyn said...

MargieAnn, you've been an inspiration to me for a long time. I too and thinking that eliminating wheat altogether will benefit me in the long run. I am not eating *much* wheat but I still don't read labels like I should and some things I eat do have a bit of wheat in them. I think a lot of things can affect our health: dairy, legumes, grains, sugar... some people are more sensitive than others. I hope you find what it is that's giving you trouble.

As far as upper body lifting, I was doing that for awhile as well as an upper body aerobics video, but I just crashed and lost all motivation when my friend died, and it has been very hard to get that back. I am just not doing those things now because I don't feel like it... haven't cared about it. I am trying to start to care about it again and add those things back in.


yes, good ideas and thoughts. You have my wheels turning a bit about different goal options. My wheels came to a screeching halt awhile back. Hopefully I can get some momentum going forward.

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear that the whole "new year, new start" thing doesn't motivate you. So many people are on board to make changes then, that their momentum boosts you own.

I hope you get a second wind soon; I hope I do, too. :)

Project | Paula said...

I totally understand this feeling! I'm a few months into my personal journey, and I still feel like I have to "fake it." Fact is, until my mentality changes... I'll never, truly feel like I'm motivated. It's not going to come natural when you have extenuating circumstances (your injury, so sorry to hear about that! / my MS) to deal with, and/or your way of life has to change - entirely. Some things about a diet and workout change excite me, others do not. So, I have to just hold on to what I enjoy and keep pressing. I'm not going to change if I don't act. And if I'm waiting on getting motivated, I'll never lose.

Your goals do sound attainable, and reasonable. I certainly hope and wish you well, as you discover what works best for you, going forward.