Weigh in today: 218 pounds. That's a one pound gain from last week. For those keeping track:
October 1, I weighed 210 after several weeks of 950 calories/day
Week 1 off Medifast, not counting calories, gained 2 pounds (212)
Week 2 off Medifast, not counting calories, gained 4 pounds (216)
Week 3, 2011 cal/day average, gained 1 pound (217)
Week 4, 1987 cal/day average, gained 1 pound (218)
Okay. So. Thoughts...
I have gained 8 pounds this month.
The gains have slowed down.
I feel satisfied, not hungry, and content with what I am eating now.
My activity level has been almost zero over the past 3 weeks due to my injury. This week, I kept doing the upper body weights and added a chair aerobics video twice. I am still not walking and am *extremely* sedentary. In the coming week I will continue the weights and video but have no other activity planned. However, there is a possibility I may get access to a pool this week. Fingers are crossed; I'll let you know! If I do, I plan to be over there swimming most days of the week. I am not a terribly strong swimmer so I might even buy myself a swimming lesson or two, so I can start doing laps and get the most of out my time in the water. That is a big IF... if I do end up getting pool access. I really hope it works out.
Anyway, my biggest fear when I decided to stop Medifast and raise my calories higher than I ever have during calorie counting, was weight gain. Some people said I would have to gain some weight, sort of a rebound effect of the low calories I've been eating, before I'd start losing again. I guess that's true. I have been really terrified of gaining. Every pound I have lost has been hard won and I don't want to go backwards. So I have had to really relax a bit and trust that this is going to work... is going to help me in the long run to be able to eat more (healthy foods) and heal and still lose weight. But part of me looks at 8 pounds gained in a month and wants to panic and cut way back and get those pounds off again. But you know, I feel more settled and at peace with this whole thing. I do not like gaining 8 pounds in a month, but to ME it is not as shocking as it might be to a lot of people. Heck, twice in the last 5 years I have gained 11 pounds in one WEEK. I know how volatile my weight can be. And I really need to be DONE being reactive about food and the scale. I don't mean I won't react (appropriately) to feedback from my body; I mean I am done with the freakouts over numbers, and making sudden, emotional decisions about my eating based on being upset about those numbers. I hope that makes sense.
My plan for the coming week: same calories. Under 2000. Maybe even 1800. Not trying to go any lower than that at this time. If I gain another pound, that's okay, I can handle it. You know why? Because this is not forever. I am not going to be completely sedentary for the rest of my life. I should be off crutches within another 2-3 weeks. And if I can sit here on my butt 90% of the day and not gain a ton of weight, then that is a HUGE step forward. Once I become active again, it makes sense to me that the weight will start coming off again if I keep the calories the same.
I have no intention of ever going below 1500 calories a day again. I say 1500, but really I am hopeful that once I am active again I'll be able to lose on 1800 or more.
I finally believe that the reason I stalled out back in 2009, even though I was biking 6 days a week, lifting weights 3 days a week, being generally active and eating 1500 calories a day, is because I was not eating enough to fuel my body. I could be wrong. But this is how I am finding out. It would make zero sense to me to go back to what DID NOT work (1500 calories and plenty of exercise). So I am trying something different, and if I end up that active again, eating 2000 calories a day, and not losing, THEN I might slowly cut back or just play with my macros a bit. Or I might just increase my activity instead.
Thank you for all the ideas and feedback. I really appreciate it!
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