I am starting to get impatient. I guess most people trying to lose weight are impatient. A pound or even two pounds a week seems to take so, so long. But when you have a week with no loss it feels even worse. I feel a lot of pressure to get the weight off RIGHT NOW. I am very worried that my cortisone shots may wear off again in a month and if I don't get enough weight off, the pain will come right back. I am afraid the doctor will refuse to give me a third set of shots, and I will have to live with the pain again. I am getting a little panicky about it, in fact. The rational part of me knows that losing 5 or 10 pounds or even 20 pounds might not even change whether or not the pain comes back, but then there really aren't any other answers. I have done just about everything shy of surgery and if I have to go back to searching for and trying every possible cure out there just to be rid of the pain, it is going to degrade my quality of life a LOT. So I am trying to be proactive, do everything I can, and I guess I have my head set on getting enough weight off so that the pain goes away. But it is going soooo slowly.
I have visions in my head of getting my bike and biking this fat right off, of it melting off my arms, belly, and legs into a puddle of sweat on the floor around my new bike. I imagine it and I hope I can make it happen. I will say that in all my years of blogging I have never been so afraid that I just will not lose anymore weight, that nothing else will "work", that there is nothing left to try.
Friday Update and Reality Check
18 hours ago