Sunday, August 4, 2013

Decision

Good morning.

I am feeling better mentally and emotionally today, although physically kind of lousy. My feet started hurting when I included too much sugar in my indulgence over the past few days, and it has me a little nervous. I am NOT going back to limping around in pain all day for months. Not an option. I am back off the junk and doing my best to stay off. I get that I will probably not be 100% junk free for life, but that's what I work towards and eventually the lapses will be even fewer and farther between.

I toyed with getting on the scale and knuckling down to knock pounds off in whatever way necessary starting NOW. I always get this image in my head of myself exercising Biggest Loser style for hours a day while following a low carb 1200 calorie plan like they do on the show... lifting heavy object and throwing myself into it with a passion. But in reality that is not going to happen for me. I am glad that approach works for some. I have no beef with people doing what they feel good about and are able to do.

I think right now I am in this limbo state that a lot of fat people are in: wanting to lose weight, putting in some effort, feeling a little ambivalent about the whole thing, wishing the fat would just go away. I have one advantage that the majority of those people don't have, though: I've kept off about 60 pounds for the better part of 4 years. That's beating the odds, and even though I feel kind of ambivalent, it gives me hope and motivation that when I *do* peel off more pounds, I am capable of having them STAY off.

Here is my decision. I am continuing Medifast and I am going to get on the scale by September 1 at the latest, post my weight and get crackin' harder on the pounds when school starts. I don't mean I am waiting until then to keep trying; I am on plan right now. But I think once school starts I will start tracking calories/carbs again and trying to maximize weight loss and figure out how to speed things up a bit. I do not know what I weigh but I do know that in the past when I was losing about 7 pounds per month (which I think is a fine rate for me) I could FEEL the difference in my body and my clothes rather quickly, and I am not feeling that now. I have not gone down a size in months. My 2 pairs of size 16 capri pants (which fit fine) BOTH developed holes in them yesterday! I am almost out of things to wear again! I have tons of smaller clothes from before the regain and I want to get back into them. So... focus on just following the plan and walking now, and then in about 3 weeks I will start tracking again and paying close attention to my stats (including sodium and fat %), because this whole maintenance/super slow losing thing is on my last nerve.

3 comments:

Deb Willbefree said...

I just read a testimony of a woman who had suffered from Achilles tendinitis for 11 months. Went to PT 3 times a week. Could barely walk.

And then she cut ALL gluten from her diet. In weeks she was pain free and has remained so.

While sugar may be a player here in your case, I'm thinking that gluten is also a culprit.

Onward we go, girlfriend.

Deb

Anonymous said...

Here is my plan for you:

Eat no more than 1000 calories per day. No grains or fruits. No sugar or flour.

Walk twice a day as far as you can go, morning and night.

Lift weights every day. Alternate upper and lower body.

Do some kind of aerobic routine every day for 30 minutes, be it your bike, treadmill, swim, or a video.

I promise if you do this strictly for 6 weeks you will drop weight like you will not believe.

Good luck.

Karen said...

Stay gluten free, always, even with Medifast. Consider changing your fruit to berries or very small portions of regular (if you are doing fruit on MF).

gluten + sugar = binging = physical x2 emotional pain

I know, I'm in remission. Safe travels. And keep up the work in counseling. Karen P.