I mean, yes, I have had some very nice times, wonderful experiences, loved spending time with the family and such. But the past couple of days, with the pain so dramatically less, I feel like a switch has gone back on in my brain. Like I woke up. Like I am alive again.
I know it sounds hokey, but it's true. When you're in chronic, daily/hourly/sometimes minute-by-minute pain, just *experiencing* that pain takes up a huge amount of brainpower... of attention. And then the thinking about fixing it, about how to escape the pain, becomes a preoccupation. All that hurting and limping and not-being-able... all that wondering and wishing and researching and stressing... it soaks into your awareness like water into a sponge, leaving a lot less energy and focus for anything else.
How many days has it been now? Two? Three? I don't even know, because instead of constantly counting the days I have been hurting, I was busy living! I FORGOT I had plantar fasciitis today! It was astounding the moment I remembered, after being on my feet for much of the morning and then suddenly it was like... "wait, where's my pain?? It's not there!" It was an amazing realization that I know you will understand if you have ever had relief from something longstanding like this.
Yes, my left foot still aches some, but it's the kind of pain that is rather easily ignored. Not sharp or debilitating... just an ache. It doesn't even register on my consciousness when I am busy focusing on something else. Having less than half the pain in that foot, and NO pain in the right foot (which was my more painful foot) is *quite* tolerable! The right foot had a slight burning feeling for a short time today, but that's it. Nothing more.
Oh, I know this could wear off in a few weeks. This could just be temporary. But I am relishing it! It is SO GOOD to be free. I am just so happy to have not only my life without excessive pain back, but also to have my brain back. I did not even realize how wrapped up in my head I was about the pain. I feel like I just got out of a cage.
School is out, dance is over for the summer, and I am going to be spending a lot less time in this recliner! I have been chained to it out of necessity over the past year, and now I just want to get away from it and do active things with the kids and dogs. I won't go overboard or increase activity too quickly, but I sure am going to do what I can! This means I won't be online as much, either. My kids and dogs and I have lots to do this summer! I will still post, but if I go a few days or a week between posts, don't worry. I'll just be busy NOT being in pain and restricted to inactivity.
I am so happy. I truly pray this is a lasting solution.