I am sad about this unrelenting plantar fasciitis. Sometimes, I get kind of angry about it. Lately I've had good energy. I feel motivated to get lots of things done. But after just a half hour of being on my feet many days, I am limping and in extreme pain and have to go sit down for the rest of the day. I am so sick of it. I don't think most people understand what it is like to have chronic, disabling pain on a daily basis for more than a year. It is demoralizing, it starts to become all-encompassing. I spend a lot of time sitting because I *have* to. There are times I literally cannot walk. Yeah, I talk about this on my blog a lot... because it is taking over my *life.* I think about how to cure this pain in my feet more often than I used to think about how to sneak off to McDonald's for a Big Mac meal. And that's saying something...
I am not sure what to do with this thinking/feeling.
If I ever get rid of this pain and am able to walk pain-free, I will never take that for granted again.
In the meantime, I very much appreciate the parts of me that don't hurt! That is one good thing that has come of this. Boy, do I appreciate *not* having a headache! Or having hands that function well... or my vision... my hearing... all the wonderful things that *do* work well. I do not take those little things for granted anymore.
Well, it's Saturday night and I am thinking about weighing in tomorrow morning. I guess I should... I just don't like it anymore. It used to be kind of exciting to weigh every week and see a loss... 1 or 2 pounds a week. Now, I just kind of dread it. But how else will I know if what I am doing is working? Then again, a lot of folks have told me that I ought to just focus on eating well and nourishing my body even if that means weight gain. I am not okay with that, though. I mean, I am okay with the eating well and nourishing part, but not the gaining weight part. We'll see. I guess I will get on the scale.
Thanks for listening.
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