Lately, I have been sort of low-level-stressing and feeling like I am stagnating with this whole eating thing. I mean, I get the mechanics of the plan. I am out of the binge eating mindset. I feel like I have made a lot of good changes in my life. But something just feels... stale. Like I need something else. I've looked for it in prayer. I've looked for it in my dog training. I've looked for it in new friendships, in volunteering, in seriously considering a new part time job. I've looked in churches and clubs, neighbors and books. I've looked within myself. But there has been that sense that I need a new direction, or maybe some new insight, or *something* to keep moving forward and making the changes I need in my life.
Over the years a lot of people have left me comments suggesting counseling or a life coach. I've done the counseling thing... more than once, actually. When I was married to my first husband, we went to plenty of sessions together and a few alone. After I was divorced, I found a new counselor to help me figure out what I wanted to do with my life. When my mother died, I again sought out a counselor to help me deal with those emotions. And they helped, some. While I've blogged, I had a few phone chats with a Medifast behavior specialist who gave me some very good counsel and advice in regard to my eating and the whys of the emotional connection to food. But for the past year or so, I've been thinking about going to counseling to talk through the changes in my life that weight loss has brought, and to help me figure out what I want for my future and how to make it happen.
Last year I dug deep and started *really* looking. Nope, no eating disorder specialists within two hours drive. Nope, no clergy available to folks who aren't established in their congregations. Nope, the "free" community counseling won't see me because of my income, and the "sliding fee scale" counselors won't slide their fee for me because I purchase my own health insurance. And finally, nope, I don't have an extra $250+ a month in copays just to sit and talk to someone for an hour a week. Wish I did, but I don't!
I never gave up, though. I had a handwritten list tucked in a file in my drawer with every counselor and clinic I had contacted and what they said. I had notes about how much each would cost and I was hoping a time would come when I could make it work. And every so often I pull out the list and do some more Googling and make a few more calls.
Finally, today, I hit the jackpot! I found counseling that I can afford. I am SO excited! I really just look forward to having a sounding board to talk about how my weight and eating has affected my life, and how I might best accomplish my vision for the future. I don't need to rehash my childhood, talk about parent issues or divorce issues or that kind of thing. I pretty much hashed all that stuff out with other counselors years ago as well as here on my blog. But I do need to talk to someone about where I now stand with food, and how to best finish the detachment process from emotional eating. I need someone to give me feedback on my own ability to succeed. And I am going to have it! It might be awhile... I am number 20 on a 2-month-ish-long waiting list... but I am ON THE LIST and I cannot wait to see what new insights I gain with this counseling!
Persistence really pays off... in everything!
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