Last night we went out to dinner. After a day of Medifast, I had a dinner of hazelnut-crusted trout, asparagus, and a mixed green salad with cherry tomatoes and blue cheese dressing on the side. I drank unsweetened iced tea and had my dessert when I got home: a cup of black decaf coffee. All of it tasted great and I feel so much better eating this way (for life). For the first time in AGES I forgot to ask about the sides that came with the fish, and instead of getting a double veggie serving, my plate came with one serving of asparagus and a pile of rice pilaf. I just left the rice on the plate.
It is easier, over time, to be accepting of the changes... of leaving or not ordering things like rice or pasta, of basing my diet around vegetables and protein, of not ordering dessert. In the beginning it felt a bit awkward to order differently. I felt a little deprived by skipping the carby side dishes. The extra veggies and plain salads were sort of punishing at first... my "consequence" for eating so much in the past that I'd become morbidly obese. I felt awkward sitting at the table just watching while others ordered and enjoyed decadent desserts, and I'd have a pang of regret when people would offer me a bite of their sweets and I'd say no thanks. But now, after all this time, it is just normal to me. It is comfortable and happy. I like eating this way and don't want to change it. I no longer that thoughts of "when I get off this diet I am going to have some cheesecake!" or "I can't wait to eat pasta again when I get to goal!" No. I like the extra veggies, I *usually* don't miss the starch (although I admit there are days I really crave some chips or other junk) and I associate sugary things with pain. It's taken awhile but it really has become part of who I am and what I do, by default.
In a little over a week I am going to get on the scale. Last week I was a little worried about that, because my clothes feel the same and I do not see weight loss in the mirror. This week, my jeans have gotten a little looser, finally, so perhaps I will get a better result than I expect. We'll see.
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