Today I'm feeling back to myself again... the energy is back and my mood is vastly better. It's a good thing, too; lots going on today! I pushed myself to get some work done around the house yesterday, even though I was sluggish, but it is so much easier when I am feeling well.
I am so thankful that I've been able to drag myself out of that pit I was in. It's been a slow drag, for sure, with many slips and stumbles. But when I think about how much better off I am than I was five years ago, it is remarkable. I do remember how it felt to be so heavy I could not walk up and down stairs normally and had to put both feet on each step, like a toddler. I do remember being unable to sleep unless I was propped up on pillows, and how I had to heave myself to roll over in bed. I do remember not being physically able to mop the floor and having no stamina at all from sitting 24/7. And I do remember being surrounded by candy bar wrappers, chip bags, and fast food wrappers because it felt like my only comfort. Thank God I am out of there. I lived there for many, many years... hundreds upon hundreds of days... thinking it could never change. But I changed it, and I am so grateful. I try to remember that, even on days when my feet hurt just to walk, at least I *can*. I am able. I *can* go up and down the stairs normally, even rapidly. I can run errands and walk and mop and clean, even if it hurts my feet. There are no more fast food wrappers, chip bags or candy bar wrappers because instead I surround myself with the things I love: my children, my pets, music, friends, books, flowers, a clean uncluttered home. Instead of having shopping and eating as my main hobbies, I have scrapbooking, photography, dog training, volunteering, writing, and beautifying my home. There are many things that bring me joy now. It's like I was living in a world where everything was shades of brown... chocolate brown and wheat-bread tan... and now I am living in the rainbow. Even though I am not yet to my goal weight, I am more than halfway there, and I know things only get better from here.
2 days ago