Friday, February 22, 2013

First In Awhile

I have so many mixed feelings about this whole month of not tracking and staying off the scale.

On one hand, it is liberating... freeing. I just follow the plan and don't change it based on the fickle scale feedback. I feel *great* and don't have to think much about food, weight, or diet. On the other hand, I miss the feedback, fickle or not! I have had moments where I think to myself "gosh, I don't feel any thinner. I feel bloated. My pants are not any looser" and I want to weigh and see what's going on. But then I think, "so, if you haven't lost any weight, what are you going to do? If you see a 216, 217, 218, what will your response be?" Well, I know how I would feel. My happy, energetic mood would plummet to despair  I'd start feeling like a failure. And contrary to the rational, logical response of either continuing on or tweaking a few things in a healthier direction, I'd probably go eat ice cream. Not reasonable, but realistically that has been my classic response to a bad weigh-in after what *I* think is a perfect stretch of eating well. I mean, thinking about how I have been eating, I would guess I have lost at least a few pounds, but what if I haven't? It's upsetting. I do sometimes let it get to me. So why risk pushing myself towards unhealthy eating when I am doing so well lately? And that's why I stay off the scale. I do worry about what I will do if my March 1 weigh in is not very good... but I also know I *need* to weigh at least once a month, even if just for medical feedback. I will use that number to reassess what I am doing and make changes if need be. I think the feedback after a month or 5 weeks is way less fickle than what I get by weighing weekly or daily... even though I do prefer the weekly weigh in.

This week, I got my first unsolicited, weight-related compliment in many months. A friend I hadn't seen in 2 or 3 weeks came over and immediately looked me up and down and said "hey, you look like you're losing weight!" Frankly I was shocked. Do you know how long it's been since ANYONE has commented on my weight?? A very, very long time. Yeah, I was getting loads of gushing compliments back when I was going down the scale towards 175, but once I started to regain, people shut right up. Not a word has been uttered. I hate it. So I was very surprised when she said that to me. I almost didn't have a response! "Well yeah, I mean, no, I mean maybe? I am way fatter than I was a year ago but not as fat as I was 2 or 3 months ago?" I didn't say that. I just said, "eh, it's up and down, you know, always working on it but it's a battle." And she smiled and agreed. But it did make me feel good that maybe I am looking a bit thinner these days.

What I've been eating this week: grilled chicken breast with sauteed mushrooms and steamed broccoli,  lean beef taco salad, steak and mashed cauliflower, tuna, asparagus, roasted green beans, and spaghetti squash with tomatoes and light cheese. Tonight I am making cabbage soup with ground beef, and tomorrow I'll be making steaks.

I am almost done with my month of meloxicam (for my feet) and sadly, it didn't fix my plantar fasciitis. I do feel better when I am off my feet but the minute I have an active day, they are sore again. I have just about given up and resigned myself to living with the pain forever. I have gotten conflicting advice about getting the cortisone shots in my feet, and am going to wait another month before I decide about that. I am still doing all the stuff they say I am supposed to do and wearing supportive footwear all the time, but I still have to really limit time on my feet. My "last hope" is twofold: 1) weight going down will allow it to heal, and/or 2) time will fix it. Or maybe, a third possibility: my new MTHFR supplements will help it heal.

It is gloomy and grey out today but I bought myself a pot of bright yellow tulips that's sitting on the dining room table bringing in the springtime cheer. I have lots to do today and then am looking forward to a fun weekend with my children.  It is so, so quiet during the week; I am sitting in the living room right now and all I hear is the wind outside and the dogs' gentle breathing as they sleep at my feet. So quiet and nice, but I prefer the weekend chatter and laughter of my family around me.

Enjoy your weekend!

12 comments:

Colleen said...

Lynn, do you track your measurements?

Jeanette said...

Really hope your foot pain decreases as your weight and overall health improves!! I can't imagine having that kind of pain when I tried to walk around.

Hope you find peace and health!

Lyn said...

Colleen~

yes, I do, but haven't taken them in awhile. I will have to do that and compare to the last time I measured.

Thank you Jeanette :)

Fair Enough said...

Well, the results on the first will tell the story.

If you are honestly following plan 100%, being completely truthful with what you're eating and portion sizes--then you will lose weight. It might not necessarily be a ton, but it will be something.

If not, then I'd say not weighing for an entire month is not a good idea and you need more accountability.

I understand what you're saying because I get how the scale can really dictate your mood, but unfortunately/fortunately most need it to stay in touch with reality. Like a lot of people say..your body keeps an accurate "count" of everything you eat regardless of whether you track it or not. so, whether or not you're weighing, those numbers are there and impacting your life.

Clothes are really the most important factor to me personally-I can tell when my favorite jeans get too snug that it's time to buckle down and go back to basics. A pair of unforgiving, non-stretchy jeans works best. Bra bands can also tell a lot-when that back part feels really tight like it's killing you, not a good sign. As you lose, generally you will feel your bras get looser and need to go down a band size. You probably know this from losing in the past but just saying. That was a biggie for me personally-I originally was around a 38 band size and went down to a 34.

I agree with the commenter that talked about measurements-definitely do that as well as weighing.

Aunt Krissy said...

Get the shots! I too had PF and there where times when I crawled cause my feet hurt so bad. Got the shots and the next day I was able to walk pain free. This was years ago and the PF has not come back. I also during that time lost 100lbs so I'm sure that has helped

MargieAnne said...

Whatever you are doing you feel better and look better. Keep on doing it and don't let yourself get distracted.

I know how it feels to not see the results on the scales. I think you are terribly strong to keep to your monthly weigh in decision.

Wishing you a lovely weekend

Blessings

LHA said...

Lyn, you are doing the right thing not to weigh more than once a month in my opinion. I know everyone has a different way of thinking about this, but my experience has proven to me that weighing too often puts me at great risk of giving up and/or overeating. The way I look at it is pretty much how you stated it. "What would I do differently if I weighed today and didn't like what I saw?" If I am really doing the best I can on eating and exercise, then the answer is "Nothing". Sometimes weight loss is slow, sometimes it is fast, and sometimes it just stalls. So what? If you are eating right, exercising when possible, and not wavering then you are doing all you can do. The scale will take care of itself. I think you have been at this long enough to be honest with yourself about whether or not you are following your plan faithfully, and you are always honest in your posts here.

I wish you the best when you do weigh in, but regardless of what you see you have a right to feel proud of yourself for working hard to stay on plan!

Anonymous said...

Cortisone shots and arch supports cured my plantar fasciitis Lyn. Seriously consider the shots!!

CarrieHales said...

I admire the fact that you can go so long without stepping on the scales! I'm a weigh-every-day girl but I wish I could give it a rest :)

dlamb said...

Yes! I am totally with LHA for the same reasons.

A couple of years ago, when I felt like I was out of control re. binge behavior, my goal was to beat that first. I was also among the scale obsessed and allowed the nrs to affect everything I did, food-wise. I decided that my goal was to stick to 1800 cals a day, no matter what, assuming it would lead to maintenance. I weighed once a month.

When I regained control over the binge eating, I was able to play around with the calories so I could start losing. I continued to weigh once a month due to the relatively slow progress. To this day, though I am at normal wt., I prefer to weigh rarely UNLESS I don't stick to my normal eating. I do not like variety so it is not a big issue, as I tend to eat pretty much the same thing every day. To this day, I count every single calorie. If I eat at maintenance level, the scale stays where it does me the most good: in the cabinet! If I do not, I weigh myself two days after an "off" day, in order to assess true gain, not including water retention.

PamL said...

Lyn, I have been dealing with plantar fascitits for about 6-8 months and I finally got a shot of cortisone at the end of January. I didn't want to--I had been putting it off for a month after the doctor suggested it.

When I went to the doctor, she said she gives up to three (I had only wanted one and I thought one might do the trick!) and I was very surprised, not wanting to even get one! But she said she only gives them every two weeks, not every week and only up to three because by then you will know if it helps. Well, I got the first one and the next day was the first day in 5 months that I did not feel ANY pain in my foot! It felt great (and kind of strange after having pain for so long!)

Well, I think I did exercise later that week, and the pain was still there two weeks after the shot. So I went back in and had one more shot, which hurt more right when she gave it. But the pain is definitely less and almost gone. After the 2nd shot, I did not exercise at all for an entire week, other than normal going to the store and appts. walking around. I just walked for 20 minutes last Friday and iced my feet right after, and the pain is definitely less.

I can tell a difference when I eat junk--especially chocolate. Some food just naturally cause inflammation (I think) and it would be better for me to lay off of those foods, although I haven't compeletely. Good luck. Pain all the time is no fun. I just thought I would relate my experience with the shots.

Lyn said...

Thanks Pam, I am definitely considering it. My hesitation has to do with the fact that I already have what they call "fat pad atrophy" on m heels, and the doctor says the shots *could* make that worse. So the shots are kind of a last resort, with surgery being a *really* last resort. But I am going on a year with this pain so I may end up giving the shots a try.

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