What a quiet, peaceful day I am finally having. I'm sitting in my living room drinking coffee and eating a Medifast pancake, watching a few big snowflakes slowly drift to the ground outside the window. All the kids are at school or work. Everything is quiet and the dogs are napping on the floor. I love it.
I don't have anywhere I need to be today. I'm just washing sheets, cleaning a little here and there, and reading. Later I'll make my favorite meatloaf for dinner; veggie is still to be decided. I am so glad it's the weekend, too. I need a little calm, and I think this weekend will provide that! Yesterday was chaos, but not in the running-around kind of way. I did all my running around Sunday through Wednesday to the point of limping, but yesterday was the mental and emotional chaos that comes from dealing with difficult people and circumstances. I am working very hard to get appropriate medical care for my son and myself, but when you can't get in to see necessary people for weeks or months, that makes it hard. After getting my daughter to school and taking a class with my dog, I sat for four hours straight making phone calls and writing emails just for medical stuff. It's not physically hard but it is a drain on the emotions and mind. I didn't get *everything* in place, but I got enough done for now. I can reassess on Monday.
The scale is easing slowly back down; my eating is back under control with Medifast although I am still drinking WAY too much coffee as a coping mechanism... I think yesterday was the worst at about 8 cups. Two were decaf, but still. About half of them were black and half had Splenda and half & half in them. It is an absolute crutch, but somehow a hot drink in my hand while I am working on things makes me feel better. Today I am switching back to tea, since I am already on my second cup of coffee and can tell this is a hot drink kind of day! Luckily I do not like any sweeteners or milk products in my teas, ever, so as long as I stick with mainly decaf and herbals I can indulge as much as I like.
This losing weight thing is such a project. Really, I am both proud and frustrated about the whole thing. I know for a fact that if I had not made many of these permanent lifestyle changes (no sodas, no fast food, drinking more water, eating more veggies, smaller portions) I would be back at 280 or more right now. I *know* that those changes, along with completely stopping the binge eating, are what has allowed me to keep off 60 pounds for years now. I also believe that if I had been able to keep up the activity level I was enjoying at the beginning of this year, I'd easily be maintaining 20 pounds lower. There are still habits I am working on making permanent: being gluten free/grain free/sugar free, eating more fish, cutting out most dairy. As I work on these, I believe it will be easier for me to maintain at an even lower weight. Hopefully as I go down the scale, I will add small changes that help me in the long run for better health and weight.
May your Friday be as peaceful and relaxing as mine!
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