Friday, January 4, 2013


It's midnight, but I can't sleep. I know I will pay for it tomorrow.

Late tonight we had another death in the family. He was quite young... early 20's... and the circumstances tragic. It was sudden and left loved ones in a great deal of pain. All I can do is pray. Sometimes I just want to stay in bed and pretend no bad things happen. Sometimes, I want to take a magic wand and make all the pain others are suffering go away. It just breaks my heart, all of it. I cried tonight for the ones most deeply affected, and I cried because all of the awful things that have been happening make me afraid of what might happen next. You just do not know when something you think is happy and joyful or going along just fine is going to turn into a tragedy. All we can do is treasure every single moment that we do have with our loved ones... tell them how much they mean to us... hug them... don't take them for granted. Love them all you can now.

I let my daughter go to sleep in my bed tonight. I'm glad, because sometimes it is a great comfort just to have the warmth of another person beside you and listen to their peaceful breathing in the dark. I don't think I could take the cold silence tonight, so I am glad she is there.



Melodee said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. Hang in there.

MargieAnne said...

I'm so sorry. glad you have your sweet daughter close.


Traveling Light said...

Oh, I'm so sorry, Lyn.

May the Lord hold you in His arms, comfort your heart and give you peace. He is able to be your strength--even now.


Karla said...

I am sorry about your loss! I pray your family and the victims loved ones find comfort in Gods love.
I also wish bad things never happened... I try to remember Gods original plan was for there to never be pain, suffering or death. Hold on to His promises of love, comfort and hope!

Gwen said...

oh Lyn, my heart breaks for you and your family. I hope God provides some measure of solace, somehow. Lots of virtual hugs for you.

Jac said...

I am so sorry for your family's loss, Lyn. Two days ago would have been the 34th birthday of a cousin who took his own life when he was 29, and I spent the day thinking about the fact that the more people you love, the greater the opportunities to feel deep pain and sadness. It's so hard - it makes me want to shut myself off sometimes, not open my heart. But that chance of grief brings with it the gift of sharing someone's life with them. I will remember your family in my prayers.

16 blessings'mom said...

I know there's really nothing I can say that will help you, but I do understand a bit of what you are feeling. I came from a very close family with five brothers and one sister. My older brother Billy, closest in age to me, my best friend growing up, took his own life a few years ago. I still am reeling from it. Because we didn't know anything was wrong. We would have done anything for him. I can't imagine anything more painful than losing someone in this way. I wish there was something I could say that would ease your pain. Hugs to you my friend, and I am so so sorry for your loss.


Anonymous said...

((((HUGS)))), I am so sorry for you losses. This has been such a
hard time for you. I have been
where you are, and it hurts so much. I hope you find peace.


Diana said...

I am so sorry Lyn. Thinking of you and your family.

i should be full said...

Lyn, I'm so sorry. You are right, in times like this all we can do is take solace in the blessings we still have. Letting my children sleep in my bed with me always brings me comfort. Their presence alone brings peace. I hope you allow yourself to enjoy that comfort in this time of pain. You are in my thoughts.

Lori said...

I am so sorry. 65MD spent part of New Year's Day at a funeral. It is hard anytime to lose a loved one but somehow moreso at this time of year. Adding in the tragice nature of the death and his young age, the grief must be immeasurable. You are in my prayers.