It's midnight, but I can't sleep. I know I will pay for it tomorrow.
Late tonight we had another death in the family. He was quite young... early 20's... and the circumstances tragic. It was sudden and left loved ones in a great deal of pain. All I can do is pray. Sometimes I just want to stay in bed and pretend no bad things happen. Sometimes, I want to take a magic wand and make all the pain others are suffering go away. It just breaks my heart, all of it. I cried tonight for the ones most deeply affected, and I cried because all of the awful things that have been happening make me afraid of what might happen next. You just do not know when something you think is happy and joyful or going along just fine is going to turn into a tragedy. All we can do is treasure every single moment that we do have with our loved ones... tell them how much they mean to us... hug them... don't take them for granted. Love them all you can now.
I let my daughter go to sleep in my bed tonight. I'm glad, because sometimes it is a great comfort just to have the warmth of another person beside you and listen to their peaceful breathing in the dark. I don't think I could take the cold silence tonight, so I am glad she is there.
2 days ago