It feels like *such* a relief today to not be weighing myself, not worrying about what the scale might say tomorrow, not tracking calories and carbs etc, and not trying to tweak anything. I swear it was sapping my energy. Honestly my goal right now is to just ignore food. Just to think about it once a day (dinner, which will be tuna casserole tonight) and treat the Medifast meals as fuel the rest of the time. That is what worked very well for me before, and I am hopeful that just doing it and letting the time pass will get me to my goal.
This whole weight loss thing hinges on one thing, really: my state of mind. Yes, it matters what I eat or whether I am exercising. But more than that, I think what matters is whether or not I am at peace with food. It matters to me whether I am using food to cope with stress. It matters whether I am spending too much time on weight loss and not getting results. It matters whether or not I am obsessing about carbs, protein, fat, artificial sweeteners, coffee, dairy, half and half, supplements, gluten, legumes, and salt. It matters to me. I tend to get all wrapped up in those things when I am frustrated, rather than going off the rails and eating junk. That's what I used to do in the past: get frustrated with something (how I am feeling emotionally, my health, the numbers on the scale) and just quit trying. Eat ice cream instead. Now, my response to frustration is to get wrapped up in the details of my eating. Well, that's not been a very helpful response... even though it is better than eating junk. I need to find a new response and/or quit getting frustrated. Avoiding the scale and avoiding tracking are ways to not get frustrated as often, but I am still working on a new response. I have let the stress get to me and let me stay caught in this cycle, and I am working to make a change.
My daughter is home sick today so we are having lots of down time. She just has a cold, nothing big as long as it doesn't turn into a sinus infection. We are enjoying time snuggling on the couch, watching Shirley Temple movies, drawing and reading. I am making her fruit/yogurt smoothies and cinnamon toast. The last two days she has been up in the night for about 2 hours per night (once with leg cramps and once with this cold) so we may have to take a little nap later.
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