Monday, December 24, 2012

A Wish

Today I was thinking about all the people who aren't happy today. I know the holidays are difficult for many. It's a memory-laden time of year filled with long, dark, cold days; it's the time of year my father died. But for me, I think my kids really make it better... make it happy. For others, perhaps being with their parents or siblings, nieces and nephews is what brings them joy. But there are people out there who don't have anybody, and I was thinking about that today. Yes, the holidays are (at least for some) about a more spiritual or religious reason for joy, but the bottom line is, for many it is a very lonely and difficult time of year.

I guess I was thinking about this because I love to come here and tell you about all the happiness we are sharing in our home... I have all of my kids here except one, who is out of state at college and working. I feel very blessed and I love to talk about my kids. But I know the heartache of being alone for Christmas. I just wanted to say, you are not alone. I care about you even though I don't know you personally. If your heart is hurting this Christmas... if you're lonely or sad, mourning or depressed... please know I care. I am not the most religious person in the world, but I pray for your peace. I pray for the easing of your pain. If tomorrow is a painful day for you for whatever reason, please just know someone out there is thinking of you and wishing a better season for you next year, and the next.

Hugs... and I do wish a peaceful, healing night and morning to you all.


Gigi said...

What a thoughtful post! I am one of those people who has felt the loneliness of Christmas day... my love goes to everyone else who is feeling it today.

I also wanted to take this moment to thank you for your honesty and perserverence and sharing your journey on this blog. You have been a thoughtful companion on my own journey, which has helped me lose about 20 pounds this year. This represents an amazing achievement for me as it means I am finally overcoming the disordered eating and bad habits, which never solved anything anyway.

Love to you and your little family, and may you enjoy many more Christmases together.

Anonymous said...

Christmas is more of a reminder of all the disappointments in my life than anything else. But your words have brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for caring.

Anonymous said...

Lyn, You are a loving and gracious woman.

The holidays are hard for many. All of the commercials and songs, proclaiming the hap, happiest time of the year are tough for those who think they are among the few who experience grief or disappointment.

They are not few, however. Those who are alone, grieve over their aloneness. Those who are married, grieve that their spouse is a disappointment. Those without children, grieve because the media, et al, convince them that Christmas is not complete without a child. Those with children grieve because their children are not home, or in trouble, or estranged. Those with grandchildren--surely they're hap-happy--grieve because their gr-children are living in a difficult or abusive home.

The list goes on.

Being a woman of faith, I know that the Lord comforts the brokenhearted. Being a practical woman, too, I know that even if one knows how to access that comfort--the sorrow can linger.

As you have done, I have also spoken prayers for those who are hurting.

They really are not along, it just feels that way. You have made a difference.


Anonymous said...

thank you

LHA said...

You are right, Lyn. Many people are hurting this time of year for a variety of reasons. I work in a job that brings me in contact with a lot of lonely and troubled people fighting difficult battles. Many of them have been an inspiration in their graceful acceptance of their condition, as well as their gratitude for the little they may have.

I will add to your post that I hope all of you will be thinking today of the people around you, even though they may not be known to you, who suffer with chronic illnesses. Remember those who are chronically mentally ill and those who are aged and facing daily challenges. These can be some of the loneliest of people who are often forgotten.

Wishing you and all of your readers a peaceful and prosperous New Year.

Forty Pound Sack said...

What a sweet post, and a lovely sentiment. Merry Christmas, Lyn ~

i should be full said...

Lyn, your caring seems to have no bounds and you amaze me.

The holidays are a difficult time of year for me. I never really realized that until this year, but I hate them. I have family to spend it with: a loving husband, two children, my parents, my sister and her husband and kids.

And yet, I'm still miserable. I love my family but the stress and obligation of the holidays makes it the opposite of enjoyable. Each year I count my blessings and hope for things to turn out better. But I'm usually left feeling empty and not really knowing why. This year is no exception.

I just spent the past hour and a half fighting with my two small children to get them to bed and the youngest is still running around defying our instructions. I'm drained and feel totally unappreciated. Frankly, I wish I could just wake up tomorrow and have it be another school/work day and forget all about Christmas.

But I can't. Thanks for the reminder (and the permission) that we all feel how we feel and it's all ok. I needed that tonight.

Anonymous said...

I also appreciate the very thoughtful post for those of us who aren't living the Hallmark card perfect Christmas. I am a widow and both of my daughters are grown and out of the house and I alway feel so lonely this time of year. I am fortunate that I have 2 grandkids 10 miles away, but my daughter (their mother) suffers from bipolar disorder and has been in the hospital this year for suicidal feelings and is still not back to her normal self, so this month has been especially hard. I worry constantly about her and feel hopeless to do anything about it (she is 25 and married, but her husband is clueless in some ways). Christmas seems like just one more stress we don't need. Her husband also just lost his job, so they have no money. This has been one of the hardest holiday seasons I have ever been through - so I appreciate you thinking of those of use who aren't full of joy. All I can think of is my daughter getting better.


sheetal said...

Thanks for your thoughts Lynn, Although I have my immediate family here with me! My,sister are not here in the same place as I am and that makes me sad.I keep thinking of them especially now when its Christmas.

But thank you for your thought and Merry Christmas to you and your family.

h2oratt said...

I love the term "disordered eating"

MargieAnne said...

Thanks for your thoughtfulness toward those who find having a Merry Christmas a challenge. As Deb said there are many who struggle through trying to put a brave face on while for others the pain is too great to begin to know how to try.

I've enjoyed beautiful Christmas Days and I've endured agonisingly painful ones. This year has been filled with peace and quietly joyful.

I'm glad you can enjoy being with your family and making wonderful memories for yourself and your children. I'm thinking of you this afternoon as Christmas Day winds down for you and I recover from eating more than usual yesterday.

May 2013 be full of hope and happiness for you in spite of all the health challenges you face with your family.


Anonymous said...

Hey Lynn, nice warm thoughts that I'm sure ring true for many. Especially among the childless, or even families with children who are financially bankrupt this year through no fault of their own, or suffering grave illness or irrlplaceable loss..there are so many things that can alienate those who are having a less than Norman Rockwell experience. I have a good friend who was horrifically abused by his father for eleven years of his childhood and the family message of Christmas often triggers his PTSD symptoms in heart wrenching ways. For myself, I too was raised in a Jehovah's Witness household and never celebrated holidays or birthdays. Even though I don't practice now, I bear no animosity towards my parents for their religious upbringing. I still don't celebrate any holidays and am left with no bitterness at all, it's simply my belief and I am very comfortable with that. Maybe your mother was somewhat dysfunctional in her exercising of the limits she put on you. One mistake I see in some JW families is the tendency to focus on personal obedience to the parent themselves rather than highlighting the spiritual aspects of the limitation. Or maybe not replacing the Christmas holiday with other fun and joyous activities for the family. We often had presents to exchange at other times of the year with the sole reason being love for each other and to instill Christian generosity. The yearly memorial (I still go) was always coupled with a huge meal after to highlight our undying love and appreciation for Christs amazing sacrifice for us. I'm so sorry the energy you received from you mother was seen as hostile and cruel.

Lyn said...


thank you for sharing your experience. It sounds like your parents did a good job at having other, loving experiences and traditions for you. You're right that my mother didn't replace what was taken with anything else; I do not recall ever getting a present or gift from my mother in my life. My father gave me a wrapped gift once and I will never forget it... a highlight of my childhood. I think part of the difficulty for me as a child was that my mother converted when I was 5 years old, so I knew the traditional holidays and birthdays and then it was suddenly forbidden. I am not angry at her for any of that now, but she could have done a better job with the adjustment for sure! And I could have been picked up and taken home early on those Christmas party days at school, but she wanted me to sit there in the hallway as a faith-building experience.