I can't help but feel really good about where I am right now with my eating. Sure, there is stuff to tweak. There is always room for improvement... more veggies every day, for example. But wow, compared to how I used to eat when I started this blog, it is amazing. And now that the scale is moving again, it just confirms I am on the right path here.
I am 43 years old. I don't want to spend these awesome years of my life being tired and overweight and worried about dieting. I just want to get to a weight where my quality of life is optimized, where my weight no longer affects my ability to do the things I want to do. I don't want to spend another five years dieting.
I feel like I have given this 100%. Over all the years of my blogging, I have had wonderful support from kind people who read. I also get my share of criticism. It comes in waves. Funny thing, when I am in a stall or a plateau, I get a lot of emails and comments telling me I am doing it wrong, I am not serious, I certainly must be eating more than I say I am or I'd be losing weight. But when I am actively losing, I get lots of compliments on figuring it out, and people telling me I inspire them.
I guess from my perspective, it is all one journey. The active losing, the stalls, the bits of regain, the looong plateaus. Trying different things, adding exercise, changing what I eat... all of it is my one journey. To me, this past 12 months is no different than the 18 months from September 2008 through March 2010 where I had a regain and then stalled out, unable to get back to my low of 214 that I hit in the summer of 2008. I remember it well, because I was working hard on my eating and exercise, yet people doubted. They thought surely I must not be trying hard enough, if I was not losing weight for a year and a half. But I was doing my best. I never gave up, I tried and worked through ALL those months... and then finally I started losing again. Here I am again in a long stall, but not giving up, still working at it daily. I think if I could impart one bit of knowledge to people who read my blog it would be that weight loss is not always a linear thing. Ups and downs and plateaus happen and it does not always mean the person gave up or isn't trying or is fibbing about their intake. Sure, there are people who do that... people who eat a pan of brownies and just conveniently leave it out of their blogging and complain about gaining weight from their chicken and salad. But that is not always the case. Some people's bodies are just resilient, I think... resistant to dropping weight because we have gone up and down the scale so many times that our metabolism sort of 'learns' to be more efficient with the calories. I think I am loving proof of that. Here I am, blogging through it. Experiencing it. Knowing this is a lot more complex than I ever imagined. But I also know and believe that persistence pays off and healthy, moderate eating over time WILL yield weight loss. Time. That is what I am counting on.
Thank you so much for the support, through the exciting losses, the boring stalls, and the frustrating gains. It means a lot to me, and I think it won't be too much longer before I start seeing results. It's just a feeling I have. We'll see.
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