Tuesday, November 27, 2012

I Want My Life Back

Yesterday was interesting. As I mentioned, I am doing a 2-day detox/cleanse review for a company and yesterday was Day 1. I had better energy in the morning than I have had in weeks... and without all the coffee. I got a lot of housework catch-up done and am trying to do more today. Around 3pm yesterday though I got super tired again and spent the rest of the evening not doing much. This morning I have been SUPER hungry but am going to get through the detox so I can get back to Medifast tomorrow.

I went to my new physical therapist this morning and she was so very thorough in her evaluation. She checked my gait, my balance and strength and alignment and told me I am really out of alignment from my hips through my knees and ankles to my toes. She showed me how I tend to stand and walk in a manner that aggravates my problems. It all probably started with me changing the way I shift my weight back when I lost 100 pounds, then when I was having knee pain I compensated for that, and when the feet started hurting I changed again to compensate for that pain. So I am basically all out of whack. She gave me some strengthening exercises for the muscles around my ankles and lower legs, told me to keep up the PT for my knees and hips, and to continue the calf and foot stretches with careful attention to alignment.

I got my first ASTYM treatment which did hurt a bit but it was tolerable. They use clear plastic tools on the affected tissues (legs and feet) and she said most people do see some improvement after as few as 4 sessions. My understanding is that 90% of patients see a 90% improvement in pain and function in 10 ASTYM treatments. I am going for it. I will go twice a week and hope this helps. I also had ultrasound, ice, and e-stim on my feet today. The PT also gave me the OK to start biking again, *very* gently, changing my foot position and stretching between rounds, stopping before I get that first twinge of pain. That begins today.

I am so, so determined to get my life back. When I say "back," here is what I mean. Remember in the beginning of this blog what my quality of life was? I couldn't walk to the park with my little girl, only a couple blocks away. I could barely walk out to the mailbox and back without pain and exhaustion. It was terribly difficult for me to mop and vacuum; I hated it. I had stopped going downstairs to say goodnight to my children. I did not go up and down the stairs to take care of laundry unless absolutely necessary; I just had my sons carry the laundry up and down the stairs for me. If I needed something from downstairs or wanted something put down there I asked my kids to do it. I couldn't rake or do yardwork without pain. I was highly sedentary. I did not walk my dog. I could not effectively run more than 2 errands at a time without needing to stop and go home due to pain and exhaustion. I was sad and very restricted by my condition.

I AM BACK THERE NOW. I may be 60 pounds lighter, but just last week it dawned on me that I am *exactly* back in that place where I was all those years ago. Every single one of those things I mentioned applies to me today. Right now. Not because of my weight (directly) but because of this darned foot pain! I am living that same non-life I was living then, picking up the phone to call my kids when they are downstairs rather than actually going down and talking to them. WTH!!!! I am back there!!!!!!!!

And it is devastating to me, because I tasted freedom. I had the life I wanted. Yes, I still had some weight to lose but at 175 pounds ALL of these issues were gone. I was walking a couple miles a day with no problem. It was *nothing* to walk to the park with my daughter, sometimes a couple times in one day. I was raking and mopping and vacuuming and playing and roller skating and doing dog sports and just generally loving my new active life. And now this. Now this... this ridiculous, 8-month-long detour into the hell of plantar fasciitis... has taken it all away. And being so utterly inactive, the weight has started coming back on. I am about 20 pounds heavier than I was in February. I cannot even tell you how desperate I am to get my life back. Can you taste it, just a little bit, by my words?

So that desperation translates to determination. Nothing will keep me from doing all those PT exercises and stretches every day. Nothing will stop me from going in there for treatment twice a week. I am absolutely determined to feed my body the best nutrition I can while staying away from inflammatory foods like sugar and wheat. Losing weight will only help. I will do anything they tell me to, to get my life back. I will get it back.


Lori said...

You can do it. You've got more determination than anyone I know.

Taryl said...

I get it and I hear you. Keep at it until you find an answer. Your quality of life is worth the effort.

I don't have much comment on the dietary shift, you know I'm a do-it-and-stick-with-it kind of girl and don't change things up (that makes me spin my wheels unnecessarily), but whatever gets you back to where you want to be - happy, functional, minimal pain or pain free - that's the right thing for you!

Broz said...

Have you tried foam-rolling your calves? I really liked your comment before that you passed along from your previous therapist: how PF is largely related to the tightness in your calves, so you need to stretch them to heal PF. The running community swears by these "foam rollers" for stretching leg muscles in order to recover from running injuries (and PF is a huge problem for runners). I thought it seemed kind of silly, but I eventually caved and bought one of these totally over-priced foam-rollers (like 20 bucks for foam!), but they're sturdy and are used in physical therapy for lots of different injuries. I began rolling my calves with it (you sort of balance on top of it and roll back and forth on your calves while supporting yourself with your hands, there are lots of youtube videos demonstrating how) and I've found that it has significantly improved my PF. After I roll, my calves feel like they have been vigorously massaged. They're kind of sore, but in a good way, and my feet have been feeling so much better. My PF doesn't sound nearly as bad as yours, but it has been sort of hanging around not really getting any better for a few months now. Using the foam roller has made significant process in helping me feel better. Anyway, just a thought. PF is just so horrible and I have nothing but sympathy. It seems like different things work for different people, so it may be worth a shot.

Lyn said...


no, I have never heard of that! Interesting and I will keep that in my file of things to try. Thank you!

Anonymous said...

I feel your frustration with yourself. I recognize it as the same as mine with myself. I am such a binge eater that I'm going to keep exactly 3 foods in my house, a different thing for each meal, all healthy, and I'm going to eat the same danged things over and over until I get this weight off. Yes, it will be boring and yes, probably not nutritionally balanced. I don't care. I am fat and it's my fault and it's a bigger problem than whether or not I'm getting enough of any one nutrient. Holy cow, I'm sick of the cycle. I swear, I even will binge on saltines given the opportunity. I read some blogs of successful losers/maintainers. They are vigilant and work their rears off. There's no excuse for me not to do the same. Sorry to hijack your blog entry. This really set me off I guess.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Broz. I had bursitis in my left hip to the point I had stopped walking (and I was an AVID walker). The doctor had no other suggestion other than cortisone shots. After 2 of those, 3 months apart, with only temporary relief, I started using a foam roller on the muscles in my left thigh. Mind you, this was not at the suggestion of anyone in the medical profession. I just felt like perhaps a massage of those muscles would help, and couldn't afford massage on a regular basis. It hurt like HELL at first, but I kept it up for several days, plus stretch, stretch, stretch of my leg muscles. Let me tell you, it has been like a miracle. I feel as if I cured myself. I am back to walking 4-5 miles a day with no hip pain as long as I follow the walks with the use of the foam roller and stretching.

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to add to the other comments that my physical therapist uses foam rollers, so this is something that has been adopted by the mainstream medical community.

I've used one for years, but triathletes tend to be on the cutting edge of things and are early adopters of techniques and equipment. Foam rollers do hurt to use but they do the job.

Karen said...

Diet. On plan 100%. Right this moment.

I would still encourage you to ask for a Take Shape for Life coach from Medifast. Doesn't hurt to ask. The worst thing that MF could say is no.

Then you could ask your readers who are health coaches. Or ask for a referral to a professional Life Coach or licensed therapist. It's good that you have good PT people on your team. Very good start - IMO.

Good luck. I truly believe that you can be well again. With support from others. It can be done. It's up to you. Onward. We are stronger together.

Karen P.

Glitter said...

I feel your pain. Weeks after starting my weight loss journey I messed up my Achilles ( so similar issues as PF). ASTYM treatments will make a huge difference, as will the ultrasound treatments ( they break up the swelling. Also,I ended up buying a cheap recumbent bike at wal-mart and it changed my outlook a bit. I committed to using it everyday, and it helped me feel like I wasn't completely helpless.

You'll make it through and I think it's amazing what you've done so far! Go get 'em girl!

Lab Goddess said...

Hang in there!! I just finished medifast to get into the healthy weight zone (85 pound loss), and transitioned, but am back between thanksgiving and christmas to help keep my eating in check!! Much better to deal with it at 5lbs than later!! More power to you!! Stick to your plan :-) You KNOW you can do it!

magar096 said...

Just came across your blog while searching for a low-carb meatloaf recipe.
(Having a family dinner and I thought... silly me... that meatloaf would be lowcarb but it ain't. And mashed cauliflower.)
Anyway, I saw mention of your plantar fascitis and just had to tell you what solved my problem in the long-term. I did use physiotherapy and doctors and massage and orthotics for the acute pain, but long term -- I sleep with my feet hanging off the bed! Sounds so strange and my husband is still not used to the fact that I have disappeared from the usual pillow zone but, hey, it keeps those tendons in a natural position all night long if you are a belly sleeper.

jbrazell said...

I did all the PT for my PF and it helped some. Then went to a podiatrist and he gave me steroid shots in my heel, about three rounds, I think. That really helped. Don't know if it's very good for you, but it sure helps the pain.