Thursday, November 29, 2012

Boring

I'm home today, relaxing a bit and getting the floors cleaned in between. Yesterday, when I took and posted my updated pictures, I also took measurements. There is nothing astounding there; I thought I had my measurements from 2008 and 2010 at this weight but I can't find those notes so have nothing to compare. However I really did gain fairly evenly all over from when I was 178; I guess I stayed proportional and just got a couple inches bigger everywhere. Forty two pounds to go to get back to my low of 175.

I am getting really bored with this whole weight loss thing. It's just not exciting anymore. Losing the same 40 pounds a second time is a drudgery. Same old thing, Medifast hot cocoa, same old crock pot chili last night for dinner. Don't get me wrong, it tastes good, I feel good. But it is B-O-R-I-N-G. Same old foot pain, therapy, etc etc. Really it is just a matter of going through the day in, day out mechanics of getting better and losing weight right now. And I am doing that, but I can't even begin to feel remotely excited about my weight... at least not until I get back under 200 pounds. I can't get excited about my activity or therapy or measly 10 minutes of biking. You know what will get me excited? Being able to walk without pain again. Being able to clean my house without limping. Getting back into dog sports again. Until then... blah.

The other parts of my life are good; I love my kids and we're looking forward to Christmas. But the drudgery of weight loss is my path that just has to be traveled. The time has to pass, that's all. I've been thinking that to make it more interesting I could start doing more exploring of the produce section and farmer's market and try some new recipes, but I am not all that motivated to do it. I might, though. In fact, yesterday I picked up a batch of baby kale. I hadn't seen that before.

I also posted a new review over on my review blog for the 2-day cleanse and detox program I did earlier this week. It is probably more detail than anyone could ever want, but I am thorough if nothing else. If you are interested, you can read it here: Speedloss 2-Day Cleanse and Detox.

That's all for now. Enjoy your day.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ah, greens! I had a very odd experience over the holiday. I was at my parents house and they had a can of turnip greens in thier cabinet. I was making fudge and didnt want to indulge so I opened the can of greens and started eating them tentatively, and you know what? I LOVE TURNIP GREENS! I never knew. I must be deficient in something Because the greens tasted like deep dish pan pizza at that moment. Cant wait for the farmers market to open so I make some fresh this spring.

Kelliann said...

http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2012/11/15/are-you-boring/

Deb Willbefree said...

Never dis being bored.

Just think how much a good old-fashioned crisis could liven things up. Why, you could knock boring t the moon if one of your pets got hit by a car or your house caught on fire or...well, you get the idea.

Unless you need the adrenalin caused by chaos charging thru your veins to feel alive, I'd lean back and enjoy me some boring.

And if you do need that chaos, you may want to take a few of these boring minutes to wonder why.

Just sayin...

Deb

Lyn said...

Deb~

oh, I have plenty of chaos in my life, always will with three medically needy children. I am definitely glad my house isn't burning down, etc. I was really just talking about the weight loss journey being boring, not wanting drama in my life in general.

Anonymous said...

I've been thinking that it is interesting that when you initially lost weight, you lost down to 215ish(?) and then regained up to the 240s. You then considered the 240s really heavy in comparison to the 215ish. You stayed there a long time and really struggled with it. It became your new "high weight" and you loathed it. You stayed there a long time though. Then you got on Medifast and lost down to 175, but then gained back up to where you are now pretty quickly and have remained here for quite some time. You now consider this your new "high weight" and you again loathe it.

I think it is interesting that you have come down in these increments and at each "new low" spot had a lot of anxiety about your low weight (skin, safety, etc).

You were so happy at this weight the first time you came down the scale. The second time, not so much, and this third time you mind has come to understand that this is a high weight for you.

Perhaps you needed this time to accept each new lower weight.

Anyway... it's interesting looking at your blog over the years and seeing how differently you've felt about being 218 each time around. I think it's a good sign that this time, right now (in your head), you feel like it is a heavy, unacceptable weight for you.

I think a lot of us regain weight because as we go down the scale, we feel so much better at ~25 lbs less than we were, that it becomes hard to do the work that keeps us at 50 lbs less versus 25 lbs less.

Lyn said...

Anonymous~

yes, you are right about the mindset difference! And I also agree that I needed the time for my mind to change along with my body. Although I am not fond of the weight loss taking YEARS, I do believe it is necessary in order for me to keep the weight off forever. Each plateau/regain/stall cycle has taught me a lot and given me time to emotionally accept different aspects of the weight change. As much as I don't like it, I would guess I will get down past 175 and then get stuck around that weight for a year or two before moving downward again. I think that is just how it needs to be for me to succeed at this long term.

Anonymous said...

I want to remind you too that even blogging on and on everyday about your journey might get tedious at times to you, that you're not just sharing your struggles, you're helping tons of lonely, isolated, physically sick folks here everyday Lynn. Very few people are able to write with such angonizing honesty and candor as you do. Sometimes not many comment, but I bet untold scores are reading , being uplifted, hacking thier own issues, and keeping reservedly silent. Dont ever think you're just an overweight mom who blogs stuff. In many ways, you're a hero!

Theresa said...

Is there any way to see how many people read your blog? That would be an interesting new stat! ;)

Margaret said...

I completely sympathize with your frustration about long, long plateaus. I've been on this one (up and down the same 5 pounds) for five years. It's maddening.

I always worry about you when you are taking pictures and writing about "yummy, healthy" food. i think food has to be very, very boring to be losing (like MF). I only mention this because I noticed the same thing in myself.

So happy you made it to your goal. Great job, Lyn!!!

timothy said...

sending good energy your way darlin, that is all! xoxoxo

Lyn said...

Theresa~

not sure about how many people, but usually 4,000 to 5,000 pageviews a day. Over 3.5 million hits since I put a counter up. :)

Deniz said...

Hi Lyn
Yes, it may feel like the same old chore but the fact that you a) carry on and never give up, and b) tell it like it is, means I agree with the anonymous commenter who wrote "you're helping ... folks here everyday".
Hope you get back to pain-free really soon, and the doggy sport, and all the things you love.
Deniz

h2oratt said...

Wow that's amazing

Tammy said...

How do you get so many people viewing your blog every day? I have maybe, at the most, like 10 or so.

Lyn said...

Tammy~

give it time! When my blog was only a couple months old like yours, I only had a few also. I've been blogging for more than five years. Just keep on blogging and build some friendships with other bloggers by commenting, and in time you will get to 'know' your readers and more people will read you. :)