Sunday, September 16, 2012

Just 30 Pounds

It's just 30 pounds. Since last summer, that is. I weigh about 30 pounds more than I did last July/August. It's not that much right? Not compared to being almost 100 pounds heavier before I started losing. I mean, how much could 30 pounds really affect a person?

Really? Being honest, it affects me a lot. I went to some of the same events this summer that I went to that summer so there is an easy comparison of my experience.

I am not as comfortable in the same chairs. They are more snug.
Stairs are harder.
I did not fit as easily in the fair rides with my daughter. I fit, but some of them were snug. None were snug last year.
I cannot walk as far. Too much pain in my feet this year.
I did not help and volunteer at several events this year that I enjoyed last year. I was too tired, my feet hurt, and it is NOT EASY doing the same physical labor.
I am not as social this year. I feel more like hiding and less like being 'out there' with people. Oh, I *don't* hide, I go out, but I feel a lot more self-conscious and uncomfortable.
The pictures people take of me and share are appalling to me. Last year I was kind of proud.
There is a framed picture of me at a dog event with my dog in one of my clubs. It is on display for everyone who comes. I am proud of it; it was taken last summer. I don't think new people recognize it as me now because it was taken from a distance and my body shape is not the same anymore.
I get embarrassed more easily. I opt out of meetings and events I would have loved to do. My dog is less well trained this year.
I have not skated with my child lately. Last year I looked forward to skate parties because I was out there with the kids having fun. This year I was back to waiting behind the wall, watching the fun, wishing for the time to pass. I would have seriously injured my knees out there; I am just not in good enough shape (and lack the balance) to skate now.

I have worked hard. Just like the last time I had a partial regain and then a long, long stall, I have never given up. I never went back to binge eating or feasting on junk or sodas or fast food. Yet I stall... long long periods, more than a year sometimes... before the scale starts moving again. I don't like it, but the alternative is to quit and I assure you that if I just *quit* caring/working at it/paying attention to my food and exercise I would weigh 280 pounds again within about 6 months. So I keep working. It may not show on the scale as fast as I want it to, but I am sure, I *know* that it will. However long it takes this 43-year-old body to start shedding the weight again, it WILL happen and that is because I am working at it. Sometimes, results are just delayed.

I decided I am going to get on the scale next Sunday and post a weight. I have avoided it and avoided it since seeing that uptick after I started strength training, but accountability is important and I think if I get back to weighing *at least* weekly, I will feel better.

I won't restrict more than I am already doing. I would estimate I am eating 1500 calories a day. I eat almost no grains or sugar. Very little dairy aside from low fat cheese and Greek yogurt. Lots of veggies, and now that summer fruits are fading I've cut my fruits back to one a day max. Plenty of protein and healthy fat, so I am rarely hungry. I do get cravings but I am okay with them.

So there it is, my plan for this fall: keep eating this way, keep working out, swim more, stick with the program and start weighing every week. And start posting some kind of progress pictures for accountability.


BStan said...

You have made so much progress and I think you are absolutely right is saying that it is all about continuous efforts. thanks for sharing your story. I am cataloguing my own journey to better health, if you are interested check out

Liz said...

I really despise weighing myself. Even though I have lost 90 pounds because I'm still not proud of my current weight. However, I will say that weiging in once a week does keep my accountable. All good plans for the Fall.

Karen said...

Why not today? Why not start one week sooner? Start right this second tracking calories and tomorrow with your weight? I know that even when I track my calories I'm easily under estimating or the tracker will " give me" more exercise calories than I've really earned.

The "next week" strategy is delay. It's totally up to you. But will your window of good health be open next week ? Does it increase your risk now and in the long term? I totally double dog dare you to start right this moment.

Good luck and examine the reason for the day thoughtfully. The answers are inside you. Karen P

Anonymous said...

Keep at it. You inspire me to it only do the work, but to stick with it. Thank you!

Lyn said...


I'm not really putting anything off but the scale. I am still working out, increasing my swimming this week, eating right. I just would like to see a loss on the scale from this hard work, and don't want to let the number on the scale mess with my head. I would hope that by next week I'd see a loss (3 weeks working out). We'll see.

Anonymous said...

I have been using a Fitbit for the past two months. I use two of the features--tracking your food, and the feature that lets you know on a practically minute by minute basis how much you can eat in the day while staying on track with your weight loss. It does this calculation based on age, sex, weight, the amount of activity you have done during the day and how much you yourself say you want to lose per week.

For various health reasons, I indicated that I only want to lose 1/2 pound a week. By staying more or less within my calorie budget (yes, I have gone over a number of times, but not hugely--we're talking 100-200 calories over; my max was maybe 500 calories over at my cousin's 75th birthday party) I have actually lost more like a pound a week, since mid-July.

I am just eating good, unprocessed or lightly processed foods. I haven't cut out anything (low carb is definitely not for me), I've just been more aware of how much I eat per day. Being a small person and not hugely active because of health problems, I usually eat about 1300-1400 calories per day. Once in a while I feel a bit hungry, but not usually and if I did, I would know that this is not the solution for me.

The Fitbit costs about $100. I think it's one of the best investments I've made in my health (and I'm not referring here just to weight loss) in a long time.

beerab said...

*hugs* you can get back there, one day at a time. My lowest I was down to 191, I got up to like 208, now I'm in the early 200s and trying to get that motivation back, I really have to stop screwing around and just DO IT... We can do it!

Siobhan said...

Lyn -- you've been singing my song all week. I did get on the scale today and am glad I did because I needed to know exactly where I was. I'm with you in knowing that no matter how many times I might stall or even backslide, giving up is never an option.

Vickie said...

Any single one of us, in very short order, could be back to where we started (+ more).

There are so many people who get part way to goal and then think "done" and then the regain starts.

It takes a lot of practice to change our lives. Not just our food habits but all the under lying factors.

Good post.

LHA said...

Lyn, this is a great post. You should be so proud of how you have changed your eating habits and exercise routine! That is not easy to do. Even though the lack of weight loss is frustrating, that is just one measure of progress. Just think how much healthier your diet and your lifestyle are.

On the subject of the scale, personally I have to stay off of it except for once a month or so because I have a very strong negative reaction to it which often leads to overeating. If it is better for you to weigh weekly, then go for it. We all are different in so many ways.

I totally understand about "feeling" the extra weight in so many ways. How wonderful that you have kept off so much weight though. Think how awful the "feeling it" would be if you gained more! Thanks for a wonderful blog.

Colleen said...

Are you taking measurements Lynn? If not, please do - especially at the start of a new program you can see what the fitness community calls "newbie gains" - surprisingly fast strength/muscle gain, leading to less movement on the scale than expected, but a change in body composition (more muscle, less fat). At one point I was working out very hard 5-6 days a week for a few months, and I didn't lose a pound, but they measured my body fat percentage before and after and I dropped 5 lbs. of fat and put on the same in muscle. I went down a dress size and you could see the definition in my shoulders and back. But the scale was the same as when I started. Don't use it as your only measure of progress.

timothy said...

so glad you're hangin in darlin, you KNOW what you're doin and you'll drop that 30 pounds if you just stick to it! by NEXT summer you'll be eveb better than last summer!

Anonymous said...

Thank you for this post, and for your blog in general. I've been sort of feeling down because I've "only" lost 30 lbs in the past year, it's been such slow going for me, and I have been trying so hard and I have a lot more to lose - about 75 more in fact. Today we went to a football game, and I realized it was much easier for me to walk up the ramps and stairs in the stadium. My husband helped me get a little perspective too. He said "30 lbs is one of those giant bags of food our big dog eats. Imagine carrying that around". Now as far as waiting to weigh yourself, if it were me, I'd just get on the scale. I'd want to see the immediate benefit that you get when you recommit; I'd find that encouraging, rather than weighing in after I already got that 1st week's "Whoosh" of water weight. But we all have to do things the way that works for us. Thanks again for your blog and all the encouragement you provide for others.

Anonymous said...

Low fat cheese? Why? That just leaves a much higher percentage of carbs.

Recent scientific studies on the NIH website have been showing that fat is not as bad as was once thought, but carbs are a disaster.

Personally, I would choose lots of full-fat cheddar cheese scrambled with whole eggs, and fried with extra virgin olive oil.

Lyn said...


I just double checked and neither of my reduced fat cheeses has any carbs. I know some brands add starch to shredded cheese and thus carbs; you might want to check your particular brand. As for why low fat cheese, I get about 35-40% of my calories from fat, but fat from dairy sources is not the healthiest. I get most of my fat calories from olive oil, coconut oil, nuts, seeds, eggs, avocado, and free range meats.

Vickie said...

Very good answer on the cheese and carbs. Good to keep balance and make all foods as heathy and natural/whole as possible.

Jackie K said...

Hi Lyn
I have also stalled with my weight loss. Despite the fact that I eat healthy food and I am in the gym 4-5x a week. The scale just never seems to move. I am so tempted to give up, but the consquences of that are way too scary. I have been dieting for 26 years and was only at my goal weight once. It is a life long battle. I admire your staying power as I KNOW how hard it is.

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