Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Thoughts

This morning, my daughter asked me to walk to school with her. So I did. It's a mile round trip, and I was limping when I got home (feet, not knees). I had been planning to walk her to school twice a week on the mornings I don't go to the gym, but sadly I think we will have to delay that plan. My feet are just too painful and I need to let them heal. I think the walking is going to be set aside for awhile.

On the bright side, I am looking forward to going back to the gym tomorrow to work on the weight circuit and go swimming! The best part about this is that I am looking forward to it, not dreading it. I actually like the weight machines best. They are Life Circuit push button machines that have diagrams on them showing how to use them. They're so simple even *I* can use them! And I feel accomplished when I am done. The trainer told me that I should try to do 3 sets; I was doing two. So tomorrow I will do three. And then I will swim and come home and do some cleaning and stuff.

Something I have noticed but not sure what to think about it: when I am not thinking about food and weight, I am pretty happy and enjoy my life. The pain in my feet does interfere with that, and so does the way my clothes fit and how out of breath and tired I get when being active, but generally my state of mind is a joyful one. But when I start thinking about weight and food and trying to get thinner, I start to feel sad and frustrated. So then I avoid thinking about it. Which leads to a head-in-the-sand lala land where I can ignore my weight and pretend it is not an issue. It *is* an issue, a health issue, so I have to think about it. Which makes me sad and frustrated... so I put it in the back of my mind and ignore it some more...

When I am ready... really, deep down in the core of myself ready... the rest of this weight will come off. I guess on some level I am mentally comfortable where I am at. If I wasn't, I'd do whatever it takes to change it. Problem is, it feels like I almost have to starve myself to change it, and I am not willing to do that. I *am* willing to keep eating for better health and improving my diet, so I am focusing on that. That and the exercise to help me get fit. Whether any of this takes weight off is anyone's guess. I will keep trying.

11 comments:

murgatroidgerow said...

I am in the midst of reading "Why We Get Fat and What to do about it" by Gary Taubes. I heard him interviewd on NPR and he laid out his evidene so convincingly. So far, it is making a huge difference in my attitude. I haven't gotten to the what to do about it yet but the why is life-changing. Really!

Diandra said...

How long have you been eating crap? And how long have you been starving your body with all kinds of diets and "lifestyle changes" in order to lose that weight?

This is exactly what I have been thinking about lately. I have been trying to lose weight for two years, one year of which was only ups and downs without much enthusiasm, and I think I did some things along the way that may have messed with my metabolism.

Now I am eating healthy, moving and having an eye on my calorie intake (trying not to obsess). And I still hope that the weight will eventually come off in a healthy way, but it will just take time.

And it is the same for you, I would guess. Maybe try to put your focus on "reasonable amounts of healthy food" and see how you feel after a month. No one except yourself can tell you what is healthy for you, but I am sure if you listen to your body, you have got a good idea of this yourself. It is great that you can feel good about life, and this is what we all eventually strive for.

(Also goes to show that we do not need to be at our "happy number" to actually be happy.)

Jac said...

At the risk of beating a dead horse, but did you ever end up ordering the Primal Blueprint? I really think you were drastically under-eating when you tried Primal before. For example, at 125lbs and only moderately active, I need over 1800 calories a day. Even if I chose to reduce that by 500 a day (which is too much), I'd still be eating over 1300 calories a day. For you to restrict yourself to under 1500 might be TOO much restriction on this kind of plan. It's not a caloric-restrictive plan. Just a thought.

Amy said...

The weight lifting will give you benefits you can't get elsewhere. It turns your body into a fat-burning furnace. Lean muscle mass burns fat, but also speeds up your metabolism and tones/shapes. Don't let the scale fool you though, muscle weighs more so you might not see a change in the scale, but you will see the changes in the mirror. The best part? You should be consuming slightly more calories on training days, your body will use it to build those new muscles and you'll have more energy.
Persistence pays off!

Becca said...

Lyn, I'm currently taking a few weeks off from hiking and running to let my PF heal. Are you doing the stretches atleast 3 times a day and taking the time to roll your foot over frozen bottles? If not, they will not heal. You've got to stretch out the tendons or they will continue to be tight. Also don't forget to wear shoes with arch support ALL the time...all day. I hope your feet heal quickly because what an awesome treat to be able to walk your daughter to school!!

Also, my doc said the longer it takes for you to take the time to let it heal (that means doing the work), the harder it will be to get them healed. So focus on it girl!

Vickie said...


“Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

I think the kindest thing we can do for ourselves is focus on one day at a time.

All the little things that go into our day are habits. And it is a very loving thing to make these habits work for us, instead of against us.

Getting our WATER in, eating at meal time, eating real/whole foods, eating portions, eating proportionally (real food carbs, healthy fat, lean protein) from the food groups, getting our sleep, de-cluttering our life and our houses so they are calm, getting in daily exercise that works with us and our bodies (swimming), surrounding ourselves with people who are good for us, enriching our spiritual heart and our intellectual mind.

All of those are pieces of our day.

And focusing on each day and doing the best we can each day, is the journey of our lives, and therefore our family's life too.

It is one day at a time.

Mella B. said...

Are you doing gentle calf stretches in the morning when you get out of bed? That can help with the plantar pain. At least 30 sec on each side. Your toes tend to point downward in your sleep which leads to a shorter/tighter calf muscles and plantar fasciitis pain, especially first thing in the morning.

I am dealing with plantar fasciitis (also weight-related) and I do those stretches every morning before I even go to the bathroom. It helps enormously. I do still get some foot pain on longer walks, but it is fairly mild.

Anonymous said...

Lyn, one more thing, and I know you KNOW this but remember with health and fitness there is no destination, it's a lifelong JOURNEY. During the journey you have to constantly reflect, review and reevaluate. And this applies to all levels of fitness. Something’s not working? Review it and plot another course of action. Reached your goal weight and want to maintain? Time to reevaluate your nutritional and caloric needs. No one and I mean NO ONE ever reaches a point where they can say “There! I’m done! I’ve accomplished my fitness goals and I can now sit back and relax.” It just doesn’t work that way. Lifestyle means just that: the style in which you will live your life.

Andra said...

Echoing what Jac said, I did a successful Whole 30 and now I'm thriving on primal. The systemic inflammation is gone, my injury is healed and my knees have never felt better. The post injury weight gain is starting to fall off without any sort of counting, limiting or obsessing. It's a simple and satisfying way of life. And it is a way of life and not just about the food.

LHA said...

Lyn, I totally sympathize with your feelings of dread about going back on any plan or diet or lifestyle change. I have been reading your blog for quite a while, and I know how hard you worked at calorie counting and medi-fast. I know how deprived you felt at times, how euphoric at other times. I also have felt these same things and am struggling past a plateau too.

The one thing that became clear to me a few years ago is that no diet is ever going to be a solution for me. When I came to terms with how much I dreaded the misery of restriction and calorie counting and being hungry so much of the time I said "enough". Obviously there are those, as you have mentioned, who just wake up one day, diet their way to slimness and never go back. How I wish I was one of them! Accepting that I am not and working on my own skills and strengths and knowledge to come to terms with eating and NOT overeat is more workable for me and I have lost about 50 pounds. Good luck on finding your way through this to health and whatever healthy weight you think is right for you!

Karen said...

Arch support, arch support, arch support!! My PF went away when I was fitted in a shoe shop. SAS shoes did the trick!! I had been wearing a wide shoe, size 8.5. Now I wear a 9 or 9.5 NARROW or medium. I am a little wide around the toes, but SAS styles design for that, apparently.

You can find SAS stores at some outlets, which may help with the higher cost. But worth it!!