Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Under the Surface

I am feeling much better today after a decent night's sleep. Even though my dog woke me up at 6am wanting to go out, I feel rested. My knee pain is about 30% improved and I am continuing the meds and compression sleeve, staying off it, etc. I have had zero desire to overeat or eat junk this week and I am guessing my reduced caloric intake will give me at least a pound or two loss by Sunday. I am staying off the scale until then.

I am so, so sad about my little doggie being gone. My daughter wakes up and says, "tell me it isn't real, tell me it was just a dream," wishing him back to life. She writes him notes and asks me to tie them to a balloon to send to the Rainbow Bridge in Heaven, and she tells me every day she misses him. It breaks my heart.

Other than that very real sadness, I am feeling better and more hopeful about all the things I am working towards in my life. Sometimes it seems stagnant, even to me. But like a glassy, still lake, there is much going on under the surface. I am never really stagnating. It just takes time to see the results of the work I am doing.

Tonight's dinner: chicken breast cubes sauteed with baby Portabella mushrooms, onion, peppers, and broccoli, then mixed into a sauce of light coconut milk and curry. Might add some canned tomatoes, too!


Anonymous said...

Its obvious you love deeply, live strongly. Life is not all about weight and you have accomplished so much not just weight loss. I am proud of you.


Jane said...

I am so sorry about your dog ... my heart is breaking for you and your daughter! I have another friend who just lost a dog too, and it is so hard! I agree with Anna ... so proud of you and all you are accomplishing because I know it is not easy!

Leslie said...

I'm glad you're beginning to feel a bit of easing of physical discomfort, Lyn. And I understand that immense loss of your dog - as I told you before, we lost our family dog last year, and I still grieve for him and miss him daily. But it's not as overwhelming. And having another dog helps.

Continue with the rest, and allowing yourself to grieve along with your daughter.

Lori said...

I'm glad you turned a corner. It will only get better from here. It will be slower than you like, but improvement will come.

timothy said...

gonna share a quote that seems appropo..............."never let your memories be greater than your dreams" .........just keep looking forward to the wonderful life you're building one step/pound at a time!

Brandi said...

Keep on keeping on .... "this too shall pass". In the meantime, your personal strength is so incredibly inspiring, and the way you push through and continue to post updates for your online supporters is amazing. Just remember, crisis cannot be constant, by nature life has ups and it has downs. You are due for an up ... just keep your hope.