I often wish I didn't have to eat. At all.
I think that is part of what I loved about Medifast. I could just drink shakes every 3 hours if I wanted to, and only *had* to eat one meal of real food per day. Some days, I loved my dinners... full of fresh baked salmon or a bison burger and lots of steamed veggies or a salad. I got pretty creative with my menus, eating cauliflower pizza and zucchini Fettuccine Alfredo and things like that. And then other days, it was *such* a hassle to eat that one meal. Sometimes I would just puree a bunch of spinach in a blender full of Greek yogurt and Crystal light so I could drink my dinner and stay on plan. But real food? A lot of times, I just did not want it. I liked the absolute lack of concern about what I would eat. Drink a shake, move on. So easy. No more food thoughts, no food obsession. That is how I reached 175 pounds.
But you really can't live like that long term, not in real life with a family and all. And your body needs real food. So I eat. And the mindset swings back to wanting to eat all the time.
Why is it either wanting NO food or wanting to eat everything? Why not a happy medium? It's something I have struggled with all my life. Today I went grocery shopping and I wanted SO BADLY to buy a bag of Cheetos and a half gallon on ice cream and some Snickers bars. I wanted a deli sub on white bread and some Kettle chips and a bag of trail mix that has M&M's in it. I wanted a bottled sugary coffee drink and a frozen French bread pizza. But I knew... I KNEW... I would regret it. I knew looking at that bag of Cheetos at home on the counter would make me feel ashamed and burden me with guilt, because I was buying crap not only for myself, but for my children. I did not want my children sitting around eating Cheetos, but I did not want to hide the bag and eat them all myself in secret, either. So I just didn't buy them.
I got myself a nonfat, sugar free latte on the way home (160 calories). I thought about how nice it would be to just drink liquid meals all the time. I think I would be content to drink shakes and lattes and not eat food at all. After a few days low carbing, you just lose all appetite. At least I did for awhile. I miss that. But, maybe there is a happy medium in here somewhere. Maybe while I am counting calories, I can get my carbs low enough to kill the cravings somehow. Maybe.
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