Well, instead of being out in the sunshine as I had planned today, I am home with a sick kid. I made some banana bread for her and now she's trying to take a nap. I hope she feels better soon; I really don't like seeing my kids sad. I'm spending the morning doing paperwork and thinking about what I need to do about my health.
It is *so much harder* now than it used to be to make permanent changes in my lifestyle. When I was in my 20's, if I wanted to change a habit, I just did the whole "21 days" thing and generally adapted to a new routine very quickly. Maybe at 42 I am just more set in my ways, I don't know. I am definitely more indecisive. Or maybe I'm not. Wait, I am... :) But also, there are just so many things I want to change now. I think about it a lot, and work every day towards my goals, which are:
1. Mitigate the pain and damage to my joints from arthritis by doing physical therapy, taking supplements, and losing weight.
2. Lower my blood pressure by cutting back on caffeine and salt, exercising, and losing weight.
3. Lower my own stress level by addressing the things I've been putting off, decluttering to create a peaceful space, and enjoying my hobbies.
This is the foundation for my life. I have to take care of me so I can take care of others. I am no good to my kids or my dogs or my friends unless I am well physically and emotionally.
I really hope to see big changes in myself and my life this year, but hoping just is not enough. I haven't put forth the effort. Token efforts, or sporadic *solid* efforts, but not the consistent day-in day-out efforts needed to see the big changes I want. It's easier to slip back into old habits or take a few "days off" because I need a break. I have to find the fortitude and strength inside me to push and push. I am trying.
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