Yay! Finally, someone listened to me and my daughter is on the medications she needs. After another night with about 3 hours of sleep, I was worried I might sound incoherent explaining things to the doctor this morning, but apparently I did okay and the reports I brought along helped. Now she is surely on the road back to health and I bet we will both get some sleep tonight for the first time in many days.
This past week has been sort of a blur, and getting on the scale was frankly the last thing on my mind when I stumbled out of bed at 6am each morning. Last Sunday I weighed 215; my next weigh-in will be this coming Sunday.
My eating has been disjointed; no real plan, no trips to the grocery store, feeling so tired I didn't want to cook much. I've eaten 2 or more free range eggs every day, often with bacon, this morning with sausage and half an orange. I don't have much fruit or lean meat or as many veggies as usual in the house right now but hope to remedy that shortly. I do still have some kale, asparagus, broccoli and carrots so those are on the menu for tonight, but with what protein, I'm not sure. Maybe I will make a meatloaf, yum.
Exercise has been basically nonexistent this week. I am fairly certain the extreme pain of plantar fasciitis I've had for more than a week was caused by my increase in biking and walking in shoes that don't have enough support. They're decent athletic shoes but I've been wearing them for almost a year so the support has broken down quite a bit. A sick kid and exhaustion on top of the pain made for pretty much no exercise this whole week.
I am in a frustrated place in my head about my weight right now. Every day I have to dig around to find clothes that are not too tight and don't accentuate my regain. Every day I look in the mirror and feel awful about myself. I do try and stay positive and remind myself that I have kept off most of the weight, but I still feel... ashamed. I look in the mirror and feel ashamed. I go out in public and know people can see I have regained some weight and I feel ashamed. I know that's not a good place to be. It's not especially helpful. My best driving force for change has always been self-pride and determination, not sadness. But I have to admit what I feel every day at this weight. I am glad I am on the way down again, but still, I feel it.
Hopefully I will feel better and more positive after a few good nights of sleep. Thank you for all the support.
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