Sometimes I wish my "weight loss journey" was confined to a neat little box of my life... a specific nine months or year or a year and a half with a distinct beginning and ending marked by "before" and "after" pictures. But it's not like that. Oh, I started out *intending* it to be that way. That's what the media portrays, right? You "start", you lose the weight, you celebrate! You go on your way la-la-la to your perfect non-fat life. I don't know too many people who really have it like that, though. You don't see a whole lot of follow-up for the next three or five or ten years after people get to their goal. Maybe it's mostly a sham anyway. Most people I know, and most people I've followed online, struggle and regain. But we don't want to shine the spotlight on THAT. That's not the shiny gold star we want to see at the end. We want the pretty fairy tale.
My life is not a fairy tale, but it's pretty darn good anyway. I guess it's a good thing for people, including myself, to realize that weight loss itself does not 'fix' everything and that losing the weight is just another part of your life. It's a section of the stream you're floating down, heading to the ocean in the end. We all die someday. Part of what we're trying to do, here, is make the trip there longer and more pleasant. Right? I think so. Weight loss has definitely made my trip more pleasant.
I want more, though. This week, my body is telling me that I am not doing enough for it. I had migraines... debilitating, nauseating, vision-distorting migraines... all week. I had been relatively free of headaches for a long time but they have cropped up with a vengeance. I think it is related to lack of sleep, but I am also looking at my diet to see what has changed. The biggest thing is the increase in carbs.
I am still giving my body time to get used to eating lots of whole foods again. I think if I keep at this, things will level out and my health will improve along with my weight. As tempting as it is to restrict drastically to see the scale go down, I am done with that. I refuse to let a number on the scale prod me into behavior that I think is not healthy for me. What I believe is healthy, for me, is to get more sleep, watch those carbs, eat whole foods, keep up with the exercise. I have this dream... this vision... that if I do these things, eventually, suddenly, the weight will start falling off again. I believe that. We'll see.
On Being Real
1 hour ago