Low fat blue cheese
Hard boiled eggs
I am done with sodas. I finished my last bottle of coffee creamer, too. I am done with that sugar free hydrogenated poison. I just can't do that to myself anymore. Trans fats are bad, bad stuff, and even if it is a small enough amount for the label to claim "zero" trans fats, which could be anything up to a half gram per serving. I need to become a better label reader; instead of focusing only on calories and fat grams and carbs and fiber, I need to read the *ingredients.* Better yet, eat food without a label. The Farmer's Market will be reopening with fresh local produce this spring. That's where most of my food will be coming from during the growing season. Until then, the produce section will have to do.
I would like to get better at making things like salad dressings and simple condiments and sauces. No more bottled crap. I have a goal to eat as local, fresh, and natural as possible. I am ditching the artificial sweeteners, the Egg Beaters (as much as I love using them, I do believe real fresh eggs are healthier), the processed garbage cookies and all the other things that contain huge ingredient lists of chemicals and artificials and who knows what else.
I thought for a long time today about why I struggle to eat. Not in an anorexic way, but in an oddly confused, not-sure-what-to-put-on-my-plate way. Growing up, we did not eat a lot of *food.* Maybe we did and I have forgotten. My Dad was a great cook. I do remember his turkey soup and sometimes he'd make pork chops or steak or chicken. But for the most part what I recall is my mother's inability to cook and her adoration for crap foods. The freezer was packed with ice cream and Weight Watcher frozen dinners. In the fridge was chip dip and cheese spreads and hot dogs and Velveeta along with beer and sodas and Kool-Aid. The pantry was full of chips and cheese puffs, crackers and cookies, Tastycakes and pretzels. There were boxes of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, always. Oh, and Ramen. Lots of Ramen. My favorite fruit as a kid was a lemon sliced in wedges and dredged in a bowl of sugar. I kid you not.
That was my normal. And to go from breakfasts of chocolate ice cream or Fruity Pebbles to eating *real foods* was daunting for me. I didn't know how at first. My first attempts at healthy breakfasts included toasted Wonder bread and eggs scrambled in margarine. It has taken me a long time to even comprehend what I *should* be eating for my health, and then on top of understanding and learning to prepare the foods, I've had to fight those deeply ingrained habits I was raised with that still drive me to want a fried bologna sandwich on white bread with ketchup. In times of stress or even just when I am tired, my brain goes there first. So easy to grab a donut or a frozen sausage biscuit for breakfast rather than *think* and *prep* something healthy. So convenient to grab a drive-thru burger and fries or nuke some Pizza Rolls than to create a nourishing meal. But the price of convenience, paid from my health is too steep. That's why I am learning a new way.
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